Suggestions on (good) relationship book, pdf or website for males?
Asked by
nisse (
1986
)
April 5th, 2010
I want to learn how to improve my relationship with my girlfriend, but I am lost in the jungle of overpromising, trivial glossy cover relationship litterature. Most of it also seems to be directed towards 40-something females (i am late 20’s male), and i am lacking a down to earth, no-bullshit, not overpromising resource which provides insight and gives advice that works and is not covered in self-helpish marketing fluff.
Any suggestion on good books, websites, PDFs or other resources (except fluther) where i can read helpful and sane advice on how to improve my relationship with my SO and get insights about relationships without the aforementioned problems?
Books with the above problems but that have helped you alot are ok to suggest as well.
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8 Answers
I am in my late 20s and husband is early 30s.
We both read The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. My husband then read The Five Love Languages for Men later. We found the book to be extremely accurate. As we were reading different scenarios referenced in the book, we kept saying, “that is totally us!” It really cemented for us that we both have good intentions, and that we always need to keep that at the center of our relationship, when trying to understand one another.
Here is Dr. Chapman’s wesbite:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com
Yes! The Five Love Languages is a phenomenal book. It was pretty accurate too. My husband and I got married when we were 19 and we’re 26 now. Things tend to get very mundane and sometimes you just plain forget how to really love and listen the RIGHT way. We both read it and found it very helpful.
How to Succeed With Women by Louis and Copeland. It’s written for guys who are trying to get laid, but has great info about how to treat women nontheless, and is absolutely written for guys.
I forgot to mention, the original edition might be more relevant, since it has a chapter on committment.
If you know where you’re lacking, why do you need a book?
I have always liked the saying ’ It’s not about finding the right person, it is about being the right person.’
All healthy relationship starts with YOU.
Know yourself, your baggage, triggers, defenses.
Understand and learn to recognize your stuff when it shows up.
Do you recognize yourself responding to certain situations as you responsed to your parents, siblings etc. in similar situations?
For instance, do you avoid and withdraw from conflict or are you able to stay the distance and work it out?
What are your issues?
Expectations?
What do you expect a relationship to provide?
Examine your own beliefs about men/women, relationship. Get clear within.
Do your own work and you will attract the best relationship with a similar person.
Or…you will recognize unhealthy stuff much sooner and it will be easier to walk away with leass pain and drama.
The best relationship book?
Pick up this little gem of wisdom.
Anthony De Mello’s ’ The way to love’
An awesome little pocket book of what true love and wisdom is all about!
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