What was it that allowed you to bonk a friends partner?
I am making the assumption here that ‘normal’ people wouldn’t do the horizontal monster mash with a friends other half. So how were you able to? What is it in your head that made you think, yeh, why not?
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A friend? There must be some definition of friendship that I have yet to discover.
He let me… He didn’t really value her much.
@DarkScribe Thats a fair point, you would hope someone you counted as a friend wouldn’t try to plough your partner…
@JeffVader & @Seek_Kolinahr I mean that my friend didn’t value his partner and “shared” her with me. That other incident is completely irrelevant to this particular question. This was all before I found out about ethics.
@Storms Ah….. fair play, & thanks for the clarrification. I wouldnt feel too bad about it if I were you, everyone does stuff they’re not proud of when young.
‘Normal’ people can still realize that a relationship is lame excuse to instill monogamy in animals that are not monogamous…....It takes two people to have sex, if the person in the relationship did it as well, it’s not such a relationship now is it? Relationships and marriage were created by society, essentially…it doesn’t mean shit. Who decides who can have sex with who? There is no law and there is no deity to dictate these things, only we make the decisions, and it’s our own jurisdiction that decides what is right and wrong.
Uh, I haven’t. Can’t imagine having that casual an attitude about it. Maybe when I was in High School. I don’t remember 1976 at all!
@Blackberry Very good points…... although I’d hope that the feelings of friendship between the two ‘friends’ might make it something of a moral dilema.
@JeffVader Oh yes of course, I have not done it yet because of my morals, but a non-close friend can still be a friend and if the chemical persuasion is strong enough between two people, a green light is a green light.
My confession is…... when I was 16 I was in a gang. I saw my ‘best friend’ & psycho gang-leader’s girlfriend walking home….. with another bloke. So I stormed in & hammered him. She took me back to hers to clean up my hands, at which point….. BAM!
I blame it on drink & drugs.
BONK? If she is being a pain in the ass. I will “bonk” her over the head.
Boink her? Never. Unless I am drunk, it is 3 am and she climbs into bed with me. Having her way with me. Me being so drunk, I will deny remembering anything.
Sure, if you’re a mating obsessed ape who can’t fathom the ideal of having a set of morals that’s further than “well if she’s a girl and im a guy then lets do it” ideology.
Fortunately I’ve never done that.
That’ll be the old meat & two veg talking.I’ve never succumbed to this I hasten to add, yet.
As an aforementioned “normal person” I have yet to do such a thing and highly doubt that a) the opportunity would ever present itself and b) if such an opportunity did present itself, that I’d be able to bring myself to betray my wife, my family and my friend in that way, so I’m honestly just speculating here. But it’s been my experience that asking, “What is it in your head that made you think, yeh, why not?” presumes that thinking had anything to do with it. I have to imagine that most people if they were actually “thinking” in any way, they would never do it. I think this kind of thing happens when people can’t place their ability to think above their instinctual desires, and generally if anyone does let their baser instincts get the better of them, any attempts to come up with an intellectual justification would likely happen after the fact (I was drunk/lonely, my wife won’t do x, I just wanted to get back at my friend, I was jealous that he got someone so hot and treats her like crap, insert excuse here). In other words, people who do this act, they don’t think until after the fact, and then they make excuses…they don’t seek to find justification beforehand. Just my opinion, I suppose there are some people who actually agonize over the decision and come to a justification that somehow makes it “alright” before they do it, but that’s still just rationalization in order to support your desire to follow your animalistic instincts.
@dalepetrie Came out of the gate limping but recovered and pulled ahead around the second half.
Indeed! Let’s hear the rationalizations for the terrible things people do.
I’m interested in how people convince themselves that sleeping with their friend’s partner is the right thing to do.
@JeffVader damn, that’s insane! (your ‘confession’)
haha
do you regret it now or given the chance would your current self do the same thing?
He wasn’t that good a friend.
Hmm… well, a guy who I had considered to be a “friendly acquaintance” took my then-wife for a weekend romp… and then lived with her one floor below me while the divorce was pending. Naturally, I didn’t think too highly of either of them at the time.
But it was the best thing that could have happened to me in that relationship. It took a while to realize and it’s a little embarrassing to mention sometimes and in some company that I didn’t try to kill them both; I didn’t but I sure recognize it now as a favor.
i have not, unlesss i was trashed and dont remember. I had a friend do it out of selfishness. she is not a close friend anymore.
Long before I was married, I had a relationship with a married man one time. I don’t usually feel ashamed of it, but I’ve never admitted it in front of a bunch of people before, either. I did it because we were attracted to each other on all kinds of levels; it wasn’t merely sexual. That made it a LOT harder for me to walk away, and I eventually lost that battle.
Even if I weren’t married, I would never do it again. As a result of that woefully bad decision of mine, I did learn to appreciate other people’s vows a hell of alot more. I reflected on that all the time, and how I trampled on a sacred union. I also realized that I could, in fact, walk away. I am not a slave to my impulses, dammit. I feel so ashamed of it that it just isn’t worth it to ever do it again. I can miss him from a distance.
This thing I haven’t done and doubt I’d ever want to. Between friends, we’ve had the understanding for years that even when partners become ex’s, they’re still off limits. The only time I’ve gone back on this is when pimping out my ex husband to a few particular friends cause he’s such good people.
@Blackberry Actually, there is a deity-instilled law against it… “though shalt not commit adultery.” This suggests both that people are and should be monogamous, and that you shouldn’t destroy another’s relationship with their partner. Common sense tells me all the more so if their partner happens to be a friend.
@omfgTALIjustIMDu
To have a deity-instilled law, there needs to be an actual deity. As there is none, the “law” you speak of is a cultural and society-instilled law. Which, in all actuality, doesn’t mean shite, as society can’t keep tabs on what one does with one’s own wobbly-bits.
It’s a hobby of mine, predicting how quickly a given topic will devolve to “NUH-UH GOD DOESNT EXIST”/“UH HUH DOES TOO”. This one never stood a chance.
But I’m sure we’ll settle it this time.
@Storms Absolutely! We have the brains and intellect around here to get it settled, once and for all. Oh, by the way, the United Nations called. They said to return the silverwear.
@TheOnlyException Heh, yeh…. I was very different in my teens. Looking back I will happily admit it wasn’t my proudest moment, however, it did seem like a good idea at the time. & having such a healthy portion of fear thrown into the mix did make things very exciting…. I’m not going to say I’m glad I did, but I’m not entirely sorry either, I mean, I was only 15 at the time :)
@CyanoticWasp Ouch, that’s harsh! It is a wonder you didn’t shimmy down the drainpipe for a little moonlit homicide!
@JeffVader Certainly a good way to look at it, put the fun in dysfunctional might as well.. :)
@omfgtalijustimdyou Lol….actually, there is not a deity-instilled law…...humans wrote those scriptures.
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