If we're all experts, what's your area of expertise?

i can rip pieces of paper perfectly in half almost every time :) and i know a lot about sloths.

I can talk louder than the other guy. (Well I can when I am using my amplified mike headset.)

44 years in law enforcement makes me an almost authority on just about everything.

Think about it.

I remember one call i was sent on. it was in the project on a domestic disturbance. man and woman were at it over something trivial. dinner was cooking on their stove and four hungry sets of eyes were looking at me to feed them. my partner arrested both man and woman for domestic assault. i called Childrens Services for the kids. while waiting, i became the chef of the day to these four sets of hungry eyes. i finished cooking their Sunday dinner and served them their food. they seemed more interested in the food than their parents. after dinner, these four sets of hungry eyes each hugged and thanked me. Children Services arrived and i left that call with mixed feelings. hated to arrest their parents, but somehow, finishing and feeding them their dinner kind of made up for it. you just don’t foot around with the food, when four sets of hungry eyes are looking at you. made my day.

@DarkScribe Doesn’t it depend a bit on who the other guy is?

@DarkScribe, I don’t need an amplified mike headset, I always sound as though I have swallowed a microphone!

I am an expert at whinging, whining and whimpering!

I am a Renaissance woman. I know a little bit about a lot of things.

I can tie my shoelaces.

Ok… Ok… Besides that… I have been in media for 25 years.

You get to see (experience) a lot of thingies. Oh, and I am God.

Jack of all trades, master of none…

As Socrates said, “I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.”

I know a lot about learning languages with a special emphasis in Spanish and other romance languages

I know how to be good at many things but an expert at none of them.

I don’t know if I’d go so far as to claim authority but I am quite savvy when it comes to psychology, nature, birds ( I helped compile a species list for the western slope of the Sierra Nevada mountain range. ) and have participated in winter migratory bird counts through Cornell lab of Ornithology. )

I would say I am an expert in the raising and care of waterfowl.

I can hold my own in conversation about most everything sans hardcore scientific theories and hardcore politics. lol

I am also an avid gardener, pretty much self taught, and am very creative.

I work in interior design and home staging and my unique eclectic decor style is very well received and memorable. I have the ability to make stepping into your home feel like you are in another country! Or so I have been told lol

I’m an expert in learning how to heal myself psychologically. I wouldn’t say I’m an expert at marriage but we’re making good.

I can sniff out disingenuous people almost at will.Sniff sniff.

@ucme – What do disingenuous people smell like?

Foul

@janbb DarkScribe Doesn’t it depend a bit on who the other guy is?

Not really, I have infinite gain on this headset – turn it up enough and it sounds like a 747 reversing thrust on touchdown. When I get a telemarketer (I pray for them… if there really was a God I wold get more of them) I slowly keep winding up the gain, all the while pretending intense interest. They eventually hang up when the distortion and volume gets too high to understand me, but if they ring back, I wind it right down and then keep asking them to repeat themselves. It is fun.

Log rolling.

Procrastination

(<————fanatic since age 7)

G’wan. Ask me something about Monty Python.

Napping and smartassery.

But in all seriousness, plants, soil, and ecology are my areas of (at least some) expertise.

The only thing I really know a lot about is massage, including human anatomy. I think I’m the only massage knowledgeable person on fluther (last I was aware), so that sort of makes me the resident massage expert. A close second would be Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

@DarkScribe

And being an ass to telemarketers that are only trying to earn a living is something you are proud of?

@Coloma being an ass to telemarketers that are only trying to earn a living is something you are proud of?

Proud no, pleased, amused, entertained, yes – definitely. We have a no call policy, it doesn’t seem to even slow them down. Whores, pimps, drug dealers, pornographers, muggers are all trying to make a living. Since when does trying to make a living by breaking the law give anyone a free pass? It is illegal to call someone on the no call list. It is also extremely pointless (there is no way that I would buy anything over the phone) and annoying – I annoy back.

Hmm. I’m quite good at complaining about the state of health care in the U.S. I’m also good at procrastinating when it comes to filling out paperwork.

Oh, yeah, and I know a little bit of medicine, too… :-)

When I first joined I was hesitant to put anything under “areas of expertise” because with life I have found the more you learn the less you realize you actually know.

I love art, have learned of copyright as trial by fire, I like to think my attributes include liking nearly everyone.

Being a crass, sarcastic smartass. That, and consuming loads of Heineken on a weekly basis.

@DarkScribe

I see. You certainly have your justifications down pat, I’ll give you that.
I don’t believe there is ever justification for rudeness and pompous behavior.
My daughter used to do political surveys as a teenager and I have always shown respect for telemarketers. It’s easy to simply say ‘No Thank-You’ without getting your BVD’s all in a twist.

A little kindness goes a long way…has it ever occured to you that you are inviting more calls because of your attitude? Kinda like pissing off a waiter or waitress, hmmm…maybe a nice lump of snot in your soup! lol

But of course, for those that think they are superior to everyone else, easier said than done. lol

@DarkScribe When I get a telemarketer (I pray for them… if there really was a God I wold get more of them).

I flirt with them, until they eventually hang up on me:

(interrupting) Hold on a minute, we can talk about that later, right now lets talk about you. You have a very pretty voice, are you married?

I don’t know if I wish I were an expert at something or not. I’ve always wanted to be a generalist, and I think I’ve become one. Expertise gets you respect, I guess, which can make you feel good. Being a generalist doesn’t come with the same perks. People tend not to notice that you’ve pulled a little from here and a little from there and hey, wow! How did he think of that? But no, I have no area of expertise.

@Coloma has it ever occured to you that you are inviting more calls because of your attitude? Kinda like pissing off a waiter or waitress, hmmm…maybe a nice lump of snot in your soup!

The difference is it is the individuals choice to go into the restaurant – the staff are treated well because we want their services.

Telemarketers on the other hand are not wanted, yet they should be treated especially well for fear of getting further calls? That sort of business practice on their part is nothing short of contemptible.

@Coloma I don’t believe there is ever justification for rudeness and pompous behavior.

Nor do I, but then I know what pompous actually means and it isn’t something that appeals to me. Rudeness, sure, I can delight in being rude – in response to provocation.

”has it ever occured to you that you are inviting more calls because of your attitude”

No, I don’t see how it is likely, telemarketers don’t have some sort of “secret society” where they compare notes and pass on numbers that are pointless to ring. Even so, I don’t mind. I’ll either play games with them, or if I am busy, just put the phone down. Not hang up, just put it down.

”for those that think they are superior to everyone else, easier said than done.”

Has it occurred to you that it isn’t that others necessarily feel that they are superior to you, it might be that you feel that you are inferior to them and resent it. You are the only one raising the issue.

@DarkScribe

No, no inferiority, just observing that anyone that takes pleasure in manipulating others, regardless of methodology, is loathe to being a ‘nice’ person.

And actually telemarketers WILL pass on a number where they were treated rudely, sworn at and otherwise mistreated. My daughter told me this years ago, that the ultra rude people were tagged for followup calls.

‘Playing games’ speaks for itself, putting down the phone so they cannot disconnect is childish and yes, RUDE!

I will always ‘raise the issue’ when I see someone that takes perverse pleasure in harassing others.

This stuff

Screenwriting.
And making donuts….with a spatula….for my duck.

@Coloma Telemarketers call so many people in a shift that they don’t ever remember the rude ones. They just hang up and go to the next name on the list. The people they reach aren’t even real to them. Just disembodied voices.
The telemarketers are generally in a boiler room, surrounded by others who all whoop and holler when they get an idiot who thinks being rude or yelling obscenities will really ever stop them.

I was a telemarketer for six and a half hours. I actually learned new swear words during those two days.

…and I’m convinced ever since that telemarketing firms are, indeed, the scum of the earth.

I can make paper stars and draw nicely. And I can recite some scripture. And I can beat you at Super Smash Bros. on Nintendo 64.

Well when my daughter was doing political surveys, not selling, but state commissioned government surveys, she had many stories to share.
Not just the extremely rude and abusive encounters but many poignant stories as well, lots of lonely elderly that were so happy to chat with someone, anyone at all and thanked her profusely for her time.

She often had a hard time getting off the phone with many.

I am always polite, friendly and because of my daughters experience I always share that while I am not interested that I commend them for the work they do as my daughter used to do the same thing and I am sure it is not an easy job.

Just my policy…to treat everyone as equals.

It’s a free country is it not, and telemarketers are just part of the overall huge marketing industry.

I like to put myself in others peoples shoes…if I was a business owner and could potentially draw in more business by hiring a telemarketer I certainly would.

It is petty and childish to take these phone calls seriously, as if that person has a vested interest in singling out YOU!

Reeks of narcissism…I am so ABOVE having to cope with a minor interruption.

Sheesh, get over it!

@Vunessuh Do you actually have a pet Duck?

Horror movies.

Symbeline is also in my fields of expertise.

@MarcoNJ I wish.

i really like drawing pictures, so i guess i’m pretty good at that. plus i really like texting my friends so im a really fast texter. does that count? lol

I’m a know-it-all. Really. I am.

So we’re not all experts then?
It might be time to change the tag line here.

@dpworkin You are an expert-tease. Game over?

I’m pretty damn awesome at pissing other people off.

I know more than you do. They are going to let me into graduate school

While I already have a Master’s Degree in Library Science!

Oooh, Science!

Yeah.

I’m good at memorization and reading, there is other stuff, but..i don’t want to sound conceited…

Good at being in bed with my laptop on my knees!

I’m good with fractions and percentages. Ask me to express either into the other, and I can probably do it in my head in only a few seconds. Within reason of course. (Express 13/16 as a percentage, for example)

i can hold my breath under water for 2 min.
I think none can be a expertise, at least in our lifespan

@Vunessuh I enjoy being a subject. :D

Wine