My sister has no friends, how can I help her?
Asked by
Rangie (
3667
)
April 8th, 2010
My sister is 69 and has no friends. She can’t seem to keep her hands to herself. She was actually fired from a job for massaging other worker necks. She thought she was endearing herself to them, when she was actually upsetting them. I have tried to tell her she shouldn’t touch anyone unless invited, but it did not sink in. So now she sits alone in her house, which make her 3 sisters her only friends. What else can I do?
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16 Answers
Find other “touchy feely” people and get them together.
Maybe she could work at a massage parlor? She’d be sure to make plenty of friends, assuming she gives a good massage.
I don’t think there is anything for you to do. She’s 69 and if she doesn’t know how to be around people without offensively touching them by now, she’s not going to learn. It’s not your responsibility. Be her sister and friend—that’s all you can do.
Gosh Rangie…that’s a tough one… @thriftymaid seems to have nailed the answer.
Point out her unique interests and skills. Then point out there are others like that out there.
She might be happy like that. You don’t need friends, not if she is happy with her life the way it is. If she wanted friends, wouldn’t she go out and get some?
Maybe she’s driving the OP crazy and she and/or her sisters want her to have friends. @Rangie Does she touch you like that too?
Maybe your local volunteer center has a bead on a place where people need touching. After all, if hospitals have volunteers who hold and cuddle babies, maybe there’s other people (or animals at shelters or something) out there that her touch can comfort.
Thriftymaid hit the nail on the head with her answer. its a little late in the game of life for her to change horses in the middle of the stream.
She needs some loving in her life thats why.
@snowberry No, she doesn’t rub my neck anymore. She use to try when I had a headache, but I told her I didn’t like that, it made my headache worse. She tries to endear herself to people, thinking they will be her friend. She just doesn’t know how to be around people. She gets jealous if all four of us girls are together, if one of us isn’t talking to just her.
@DarkScribe humm, where do I go to find touchy feely people? I just feel so sorry for her. She is socially inept and doesn’t know how to get and keep a friend.
@ChazMaz I took a quick look at your sight. No, that is not the kind of touchy feely type for her. But thanks for your suggestion. hehe.
@thriftymaid yes, I think you are probably right. I have been her friend and sister from a distance. We were all 4 still living in the same area where we were born. But, I moved about 4 hours away. I hate to say it, but she bugs the other 2 now, a lot more than she use to. My daughter invites her to every function she has. They entertain quite a lot. We all try to let her know she is important to us.
It is impossible to make friends for another person, no matter how much you want or need to. Your sister needs to acknowledge and understand that many, many people do not like to be touched (I’m one of them). Until she does then any person you may be able to get acquainted with her would be, potentially, run off when she behaved inappropriately.
The change has to come from her and it doesn’t seem like she is there yet.
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