What is it about you that rubs people the wrong way?

My confidence and positive attitude. Even when I am not.

It’s really only the cognitive dissonance as they begin to realize that I’m right and they’re wrong.

What about me doesn’t? I have opinions and ideals and I am fair and honest to a fault – I don’t like excuses and expect the same of others. I crystallize much of what people are uncomfortable with discussing. I’m sure I don’t need to list for you all of my identities that make people uppity and threatened. And it rubs them the wrong way that no matter what, I am happily in love and my children are beautiful and smart and my family is solid.

As hard as it is to believe some people take offense with my opinions. That seems strange, to me, because my opinions (in my opinion) are always correct.

I’m almost always late (except for work).

I don’t know. You tell me.

I can come across as aloof and/or I just cannot resist scratching my sarcasm bone. If someone makes it itch, well, I just have to scratch.

I tend to waffle on a bit too much.That’s an English term meaning talks a lot.I’m acutely aware of this, just comes natural I guess.I could go on but you get the picture.

My independence has ended up bothering quite a few of my old friends from high school. It truly bothered them that I left the nest at eighteen and they were still living at home. They just couldn’t be happy for me. The same goes for my ambition and passion. I don’t talk about what I do for a living unless somebody asks and even then, people (friends) seem to get upset or jealous about it. I never rub my ambition in people’s faces and I never brag about what I do. Like @ChazMaz, I think it’s the confidence that bothers people or the fact that I’ve started a new chapter in my life away from home.

I’m noticeably different from the majority of people I know, and they don’t seem to like that.
More personally, my boyfriend hates that I’m messy and I procrastinate.

A mean, sarcastic, I-hate-people attitude.

Two things:

I hate tardiness, to a point where I’m often too early when showing up for certain things. I’m often up really early in the morning, which tends to annoy the people living around me.

Also, I very rarely answer my phone, I just let it go to voicemail. If I decide I need to call somebody back, I do, but most of the time I don’t deem it necessary, and wait until I see them in person. I hate that I’m supposed to be “available” all the time. This trait really seems to annoy my friends and family.

”Also, I very rarely answer my phone, I just let it go to voicemail. If I decide I need to call somebody back, I do, but most of the time I don’t deem it necessary, and wait until I see them in person. I hate that I’m supposed to be “available” all the time.”

Think i’m going to copy/paste this and text it to all my contacts in my cellphone.
If i have the guts.

I tend to be blunt. Not always a popular habit at parties.

“I hate tardiness, to a point where I’m often too early when showing up for certain things. I’m often up really early in the morning, which tends to annoy the people living around me.”

Ruh-roh. Wedding is called off. :(

If I am going to rub someone, I make sure I know how they like to be rubbed.

I come off as snobby and aloof (but it’s really just that I’m a little shy and hate small talk).
I’m messy (it only annoys people I’ve lived with).
I can be really indecisive, yet I put myself in the role of the planner/organizer and get annoyed when people can’t make decisions.
When something’s really weighing on my mind I don’t STFU about it.

Oh, and I’m neat freak(ish) about myself and my surroundings. If I have to put up with a messy person, I will. I prefer not to, though. My girlfriend on the other hand has a petrified french fry or two in the back seat of her car, and in her fridge, you’ll find a spicy hummus science experiment that she’s been keeping in there since December. ;-)

You don’t really think that I could possibly rub anyone in the wrong way… do you?

See ChazMaz’ answer :)

@jjmah We may not agree on our sense of time, but at least we’re on the same page in regards to cleanliness. Wedding back on?

@jeffgoldblumsprivatefacilities yes, back on. ;-)

Jesus… ”what doesn’t?” is what I’d like to know.

my competitive spirit!

Sometimes I can yapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyap
yapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyap
yapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyap
yapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyapyap and that can annoy people.

@aprilsimnel you and I would get along just fine. So do I. :)

I’m way too opinionated. I’m awkward at small talk. I often think I’m better than other people and I’m sure they pick up on it.

I voice my opinions when I think necessary and some family members shake their heads at that behavior. They expect me to always respect my elders and keep my mouth shut even when the elders are completely out of line. Sorry. I won’t so that. If you demand respect, you must show me the same respect in return or the deal is off.

Oh, and I forgot, the fact that I stay in my bedroom and rarely come out really bothers my roommate, her boyfriend and a few of my friends. I enjoy solitude more than most people. I’ve always been rather anti-social and introverted and social settings of five people or more make me nervous. People get annoyed that I would prefer to stay home rather than go out and party or be around a group of people. I usually decline any offers from my roommate to go out with them, but sometimes I feel obligated to go out at least every once in a while so I don’t come off as rude. Makes people think I’m weird. Maybe I am, but it’s just my thing.

@ItalianPrincess1217 ‘If you demand respect, you must show me the same respect in return or the deal is off.’ This. Exactly. I will respect my elders, but they have to respect me. It is a two way street. I don’t say we have to agree, odds are we won’t, and even though twenty some odd years from now I may even share some of the opinions of my elders with some more time and wisdom on my side, right now my views and opinions demand the same respect I give to others.

I also hate small talk and talking on the phone. Oh do I hate the phone. Say what you have to say and get off the line. If it weren’t for needing the phone for medical emergencies, I wouldn’t have one. Thinking about getting a cell phone and just keeping it turned off.

I remembered something else that always seems to rub people the wrong way. I never fake my happiness. If I’m not feeling a certain situation, my face will show it. If I don’t like a certain person, my attitude will show it. I hate fake people. So I try my hardest never to be that way.

@Vunessuh Ditto.

On the interwebs, I’m guessing one such thing is the fact that I refuse to respect beliefs, and another one is perhaps how I can’t seem to shut up when I think someone is wrong about something.
And I sometimes try to educate people on how to be more rational, but the people I want to educate tend to be the sort of people that takes offence at the idea that there could exist anything I know about reasoning that they don’t know and is not nonsense. They’re often religious, and I’m an atheist, which doesn’t help.

I’m not usually like that in the off-line world. I’m a lot less vocal in person.

I think I annoy people here with my attention seeking, especially when I do a disappearing act. It’s not an act, but I can see how it would look that way. And I write too much.

I think I annoy people irl when I make faces that show my disapproval. It makes me feel like I could stop a charging elephant in its tracks with such a look. If elephants could interpret human facial expressions. Which I suppose they might be able to do.

Other than that, I try very hard not to rub people the wrong way, because I need to be liked too much. Although I suppose that could rub people the wrong way. I don’t try to be liked by being obsequious. I try to be liked because I’m interesting or informative or helpful or something.

I think it annoys people that I want to be liked so much. Also that I analyze things as much as I do. They think I would be better off if I stopped worrying things so much.

Some day I’d like to learn not to care that I annoy people.

I’m not a very serious person, sometimes that can annoy people. I refuse to argue about pointless things which for some reason is very infuriating to some people. My optimism can be annoying as well.

Oh, and if I’m teasing you that’s a good thing (I kid because I care).

In the real (non-fluther) world, I am told that I am very easy going, laid back and tolerant.
Here, on fluther, I do occasionally give vent to the odd, well-meaning barb. As some of you lovely people will have noticed.

That having been said, I think that my Nationality seems to rub some of you Americans up the wrong way.

That Simon Cowell has a lot to answer for!

I’m not very open, nor am I social. This seems to bother people, presumably because they might think that I think too little of them or that nobody’s ever good enough for me.
That may, or may not, be it, but primarily I just like being alone. People don’t seem to get that it has to do with me, more than anyone else. :/

Since I don’t express myself much, maybe people think I don’t trust them or whatever, I don’t know, but that I don’t come and start bawling to them for every little thing seems to upset those few people in my entourage. Well fuck em haha.

the big pimple on my ass has been known to gather attention!

I don’t use drugs, drink very little, and I am a bit nearsided, which causes me to squint. People mistake that for attitude.

People get mad at me for expecting to be paid for my work.
“But you enjoy it!” Yes, essentially I do. And if you want to enjoy it too, pony up.

@filmfann
Glasses?

@susanc May I guess? Are you a hooker?

I’m too quiet with strangers, yet I’m a blabbermouth with loved ones. (It’s a trust thing.)

I’ve been told that I tend to have a bitchy expression even when I’m being friendly. Oh yeah and then there’s my Tourette’s Syndrome xD

@Fyrius Even with the glasses, the squint is there.

@dpworkin: Come on. Don’t out me like that. Damn, I thought you were on my side.

@susanc if he’s right, then I’d be in on your corner.

I think people are annoyed by the fact that I’m very opinionated and I don’t back down easily. In this way I’m “stubborn” and that annoys people sometimes. I have a tendency to stand up for what I believe in and many people may see it as excessive sometimes.

I don’t want to sound arrogant or anything, but I definitely am confident. I don’t know if that annoys people, but some people here seem to think it does. The difference is that I tend to hang around other confident people, some who are more confident than I am.

I’m bossy and controlling at times and I can put people on the spot with my frankness.

I dunno how to play the social game so people have a hard time interacting with me away from the computer. I don’t have time to read what’s been said and manually figure out what’s being said between the lines, what’s inferred, and come put with an appropriate response face-to-face like I do on the computer. I come off as uncaring, muddle-headed and just plain slow when I honestly don’t have a clue what’s going on half the time.

Yes, my confidence and secure personality.

I am genuinely happy for others good fortunes, have no problem being complementary and cheering on their positive traits.

A lot of people however, have an issue with secure, confident strong people.

I have a freind I have known for years that struggles with lots of insecurities and is fraught with the petty emotions that go with such, envy, jealousies, sour grapes.

It has caused problems in our relationship and while empathetic I have distanced quite a lot the last year or so.

When I over explain.

I don’t labor under the same illusions other people do. This creates dischord because it also means I cannot buy into the facade of who they wish they were. I see straight through it. I am mostly quiet about it, but if it comes out against me, my threshold is limited in what I will allow. It bothers people when you strip them of the things they hide behind.

Thanks for the lurve…I think :P

@liminal Yup!

@liminal I over explain a lot too sometimes.
Sometimes I feel compelled to really get my point across and this means having to dissect the situation and reveal every single detail. It’s important because it drives me nuts if I feel I’ve left anything out. This leaves room for people to have the wrong impression or not understand you in the way you intended. Then you feel misunderstood. That sucks. Of course there is a difference between what you feel and what is fact, but sometimes something won’t stop nagging you in the back of your mind until you’re sure somebody understands you, even when they understood you in the first place. Ah, well, look at me over-explaining and shit. I’ll shut up now. :P

@Vunessuh Jesus! Do you ever shut up?

I like it when she never shuts up. :D

—@Symbeline Talk with her on the phone sometime! I had a mortgage payment for a phone bill one month. Bahahaha!
J/K. I love Calicunt :)—

When I make a stink about the annoying actions of others and act as if I’m perfect, while in reality, I do the same things “they” do.

When I am quick to act like the Tazmanian Devil instead of listening, checking, thinking, before responding.

When I don’t replace the emptied toilet paper roll.

@Vunessuh You just made me smile and fall in love with you and your over explaining self.

@liminal Aw, you made me smile too. * smiles *

I chatter during movies.
My foul language.
Telling a story with too many off the point details.

The way I walk, everybody thinks Im a stuck up, but Im not, I just have good posture.

My hands usually. In very crowded places with many women sometimes another appendage.

People tend to get irritated by the fact that I never seem to make a decision. Don’t ask me what I feel like eating, what movie I want to see or what I want to do because chances are the answers will be, I don’t care. And really, I don’t.

I get excited about the little stuff.

I come across as arrogant to some people.

But what do I care what they think?

Thanks for my first laugh of the new day, @bob_. Not that you give a shit.

@CyanoticWasp Go make me a sandwich.

@Vunessuh ummm….MsV has been bad again!

@BoBo1946 Guilty as charged.

I’m a little psycho, so I hear (often).

In general: I’m hopelessly forgetful, which means people generally view me as a bit of a flake. I just have my head in the clouds most of the time. I’m terrible at communicating, and unless I’ve thought about something for long time I can be tad in-eloquent. I’m a grump, and a skeptic.

Specifically: my husband can’t stand it when I phrase requests in a deferential manner. For example I’ll say “Maybe you’d like to put away the laundry”, rather than “Put away the laundry, please”. I think it’s a cultural thing.

@Vunessuh loll…

I’ve been told that I think too much. That I make up scenarios in my head before they even happen…which in turn has me coming up with ways to deal with it.

I can’t help it. That’s what I do…think.
But I have been told that it’s annoying, that I need to just ‘Go with the flow.’

@MarcoNJ If it’s any consolation, I’ve been told that too.

There are certain people, people who are up to no good, who do not like me. Because I will look at them and quietly suss them out and then I get that “AHA! ‘e’s a wanker, innit ‘e?” feeling, and when I look at them, they know that I know that they’re wankers. And they can’t stand it. Such people will stay away from me.

@janbb Sometimes I do wish there was a ‘Dummy’ pill, so I can temporarily go through life with a dumbed-down mindset. Either that, or a remote control for my brain….PAUSE….ah, no thoughts. Phew!

Really, @janbb? No one has ever complained that you think too little? how odd

@CyanoticWasp Was that just you making tha complaint?

Absolutely not, @janbb!

Actually, the thing that so many complain about to me is that I am not at all compliant. So I had no complaint / compliant at all.

ummmm…like to rub girls the right way or the wrong way!

yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

@bob_ ah I see that you throw that response at no matter who the recipient is

@Simone_De_Beauvoir What, you thought I used it only at people with certain body parts? Shame on you!

Just so we’re clear here: I did made you a sammich, @bob_, but I eated it.

@CyanoticWasp I knew you’d do that, so I spat on the bread.

@bob_ I stand corrected, lol – you are sexist to all

@Simone_De_Beauvoir You can’t be sexist to all. Now go get me a beer.

@bob_ Maybe you’re the first

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Sexist: discriminatory on the basis of sex. pwned.

@bob_ I am just joking around. I think I know better what’s sexism and what’s not.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Now that’s sexist. Heh. And yes, I know. I’m just playing along.

Also, where’s my beer?

I can be rather blunt at times…I get in these moods where I feel people should be able to tolerate as much as I can——or at least as much as I appear I can.

@bob_ in your hand

I’m back. It took me awhile to get over being called a hooker. I was outside leaning against a tree laughing, and I wore myself out. Don’t do this to me. I’m old.

The other thing I do that annoys a very limited audience, that is to say my adult children, is to say things I think are funny. They don’t like that.
They think I should act like a grandmother, mild and comforting, and make food, and help around the house (their house). I’m glad to, and it works as long as I don’t have an original thought – no, that’s not right; – as long as I keep my original thoughts well closeted.
Interestingly, my grandbaby thinks I’m a laugh riot. Hmm. What might this mean….?

Well you know, @susanc, that sort of stuff always skips a generation. ;)

@susanc I have the best time saying outrageous things and grossing my younger son out!

like what?

@janbb Yes, please divulge!

hahahahahah, right?

Unfortunately, I can’t remember any specfics. Maybe I should ask him?

Yes but: I’m just saying the kind of stuff my kids used to laugh at when they were younger. Do you think people get more conservative when they become parents with mortgages? Did I?
Must review.

@susanc I should be able to tell you that in about a year and a half. Stop by for a bulletin.

@janbb: It’s on my calendar.

I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but I can be very direct and I don’t mince or waste words. This annoys the crap out of some people.

@Silhouette – I think you mince now and then. :-)

—@ChazMaz Really? You’re sweet for saying so, thanks. :o)

I think having a higher intellect intimidates people. I don’t BS or play corperate politics, I am there to do a job.

@Sousuke1982 I hope that job isn’t SpellChecking.
Welcome to Fluther.

That question has actually come up recently and I was surprised by what people said. It seems that my habit of trouble-shooting problems seems to upset people. It turns out that when some people have problems, they don’t want solutions, they want commiseration. I was completely surprised!

Since my job, for the last 45 years has been to trouble-shoot and resolve problems, I have taken great pride in working to find solutions. The harder the problem, the better I felt resolving them.

So I was completely suprised when people told me that is not what they wanted. Does that mean that my whole life has been wasted? I guess I owe an apology to my employers and customers…..and people that I thought were my friends. They, however, are not getting their money back.