Should I remove Shutter Island from my grandma's Netflix queue?

It may be exasperating to explain things over and over to her when she complains about seeing something she has asked for, but she did ask for it. I would not remove anything.

Oy – @wildpotato, I think your Bubs is my mother! What we went through with her and Netflix! Sounds like so many dilemmas we had with her over the years. I don’t think you can go wrong – rather I don’t think you can go right! – whichever you do, but I’d be inclined to take it off if you know she won’t be looking for it.

I think I’d remove it. There isn’t much point putting her through watching the movie if she won’t remember she asked for it. Especially if she doesn’t enjoy them. We all have to put up with people if our families. I always try to be as nice as possible, even when they deserve otherwise.

videotape her saying she wants to watch it and the when she complains you can show her the video tape

Just remove it and find something better. We notice that my very aged mother takes books that she has already read out of the in-house library. She doesn’t notice due to terrible, if non-existent, short-term memory. We say nothing.

Last night she called both my sister and me to tell us she was going to the hospital and having her pacemaker replaced this morning. Total fabrication; we calmed her down. This morning when we checked in, whatever had triggered that fantasy had disappeared.

I’m with the wise @janbb. She needs management, and there’s nothing sacred about a netflix queue. If you changed her will I might agree with @rahm_sahriv, but changing her queue? If I were you I’d monitor it all the time, adding stuff she’ll like and deleting what she won’t. That seems kindest.

This is an issue where it’s wise to tell her you did whatever she asks for, and then actually only putting in what you know she’ll like. Old Classics like this are a place to start to find movies she might like.

My mother, a real film buff all her life, went through a phase recently where she declared all movies she was re-seeing “bad remakes” because she didn’t remember them from the originals. A remake of Babette’s Feast?

Take it off if you think it’s obvious she won’t like it.

If she’s that forgetful, then I think what I’d do is agree with everything she says… and manage the queue yourself, keeping her tastes in mind. Either that or have the movies sent to you for previewing (if you don’t know whether or not she might like them) and then taking or sending them to her after you’ve approved them.

@wildpotato You see, it’s obvious her mind is no longer what it used to be. So in cases like this, as in all situations where you are dealing anyone who is not mentally ready for the thing they are asking for, you give them what is appropriate and if at all possible, you give them what you know they would like. My father went through a similar time. It reminded me a bit of dealing with a child who asks for something that’s inappropriate. At that point, I would have to tactfully maneuver a different outcome that would please him so he didn’t know the difference. It’s walking a fine line- respecting your grandmother, understanding what she wants, and giving her what makes her happy.

If at some point in the future, her mind clears up and she appears that she can discuss such things rationally, then you can change your tactics.

I agree with many above.
If she forgets, take it out. [I assume that she doesn’t like psychological thrillers.]
I suggest a two-pronged approach—one that I have used.
1. Discuss with her what she might or might not like and how the categories work and how NetFlix evolves her taste guidelines by what she picks.
2. Ask her for her password and look at the queue once in a while by yourself—either delete any obvious stinkers or move them to the bottom of the queue to ask her about them next time you see her.

I would take what she asks you to put on there with a grain of salt, and put on films that you know she would like. I would venture she’s adding them because she wants to seem current, and isn’t thinking through whether or not she will actually like the film.

I think you should just analyze what she does like and then get her movies from there. If she doesn’t enjoy these films that get 3 stars, why bother getting them? She shouldn’t waste 2 hours of her day on a film she hates.

@dpworkin “there’s nothing sacred about a netflix queue”

Wiser words were never spoken.

… not by @dpworkin, in any case.

If she’s not going to remember anyway, take it out.

I saw Shutter Island and it isn’t a horror movie. Have you seen it?

@Zen_Again No, I haven’t. Any good?

Just for the record, @wildpotato , I sent your question to my sons and they agreed it sounds exactly like their Bubby! Must be something about bubbies (oh shit, I’m one too.)