Why get gauges if you don't want to stretch your ears?

Dont let her do it, theres no going back without surgery.

@slick44 that is absolutely not true at all. My ears used to be gauged big enough to fit a quarter through them. You cant even tell they’ve been pierced now.

Well i saw it on the doctors show once the hole is so big and healed up. how is it going to grow back together? In any case i still think at her age its a ad idea.

@slick44 THAT IS A COMPLETE LIE! First of all, up to a certain point, any hole heal and close completely. Especially if you take the time to size them back down. The average cut off is usually a 00ga.

@fishglove There are many reasons kids and people in general wear larger gauge jewelry. Some people do gauge up but keep them small as it’s easy for them to heal up but still makes you look “cool” in certain groups. Sounds like she’s just being a kid to me. Fitting in to her clique and whatnot. And she might actually just think it looks cool. No harm, just a fad. As a parent, you can choose to let her or not to but if you let her get them pierced, I don’t see much of a problem in letting her gauge up to say a 10 or possibly 8. That’s still real small and harmless. (DISCLAIMER: I’m no parent)

Hi Fishglove Welcome to Fluther.

[Mod Says:] Relax folks. Lets keep it civil okay?

@Randy… GREAT! BITE MY HEAD OFF WHY DONT YOU. I SAID I SEEN IT ON A SHOW. and shes to young!

@slick44 As others have said, that is untrue. I have had gauges. I no longer do.

Secondly, re: “too young”, that isn’t your judgment to make. Just relax, take a few breaths.

@fishglove It isn’t as bad as, say, a tattoo, or a piercing in another location. @Randy summed up pretty nicely.

@slick44 Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. I get it from a lot of people about how those of us who gauge our ears are so dumb because it will never grow back and so on. A lot of the stigma is bologna. As far as the age is concerned, it might be a little young as her likes and dislikes will change but it’s not a permeant modification. At 13 there’s no way I would allow a child to get and “extreme” (i.e. facial, naughty parts) piercing. Ears are pretty normal though and a small gauge doesn’t seem harmful in my opinion. Again, I’m no parent though. If I had a thirteen year old of my own, my answer might be a little different.

Weather its my call to make is not the topic. I am entitled to my opinion just as you are. i am not her mother so i wont be making that decision will i?nor will you. I dont deserve to be bullied for my opinions.

@Randy thank you.i am not against it. i have tattoos and piercings, i just think she is too young to make a body changing decision. :)

I would tell her wait a few years to see if she actually wants to. My friends didn’t start doing it until college.

the feedback is enlightening…I am learning a lot about this subject, with your help…the part that I am still wondering about is (and I mean this as a non-judgmental, open-ended question) what constitutes the group of teens who seem to choose to wear gauges? the reason I ask, is that we have moved from the Midwest to southern California, and the culture for teens is VERY different here…I know she is struggling to fit in, but I’m not sure who she is going to be “fitting in with”...she is quiet and doesn’t share much…

@slick44 Who is bullying you? What are you going on about?

Oh, never mind.

Typically the scene, or skater kids gauge their ears if we’re putting a stereotypical label on things…

Granted, there are also people who don’t fall into these categories who gauge their ears too.

@fishglove I know NOTHING of the scene in SoCal as I’ve lived in Arkansas my whole life but around here, everyone from punks to preps gauge up. It’s a “kid culture” thing to gauge up to small sizes. Kinda like a more extreme version of popular brand shirts or certain kinds of shoes. The less extreme kids wear them for a while then take them out to let them heal while the others continue to gauge up to bigger and bigger sizes.

Fish-
I am a native Southern Californian.
Personally as a parent I would have her wait. She has just moved and is looking to fit in.

Gauging is done for different reasons. I have multiple piercings and have gauged (fully healed now) and can say that there is still a slight stigma associated with extreme piercing. This thread even has a bit of it. Some people sadly still assume that those with gauging are messed up or punks. Even in progressive Southern Ca.

I would tell her to wait a couple years or so and be sure it is for the right reasons- the right reason is not because she wants to fit in or she will be continually seeking new extremes to remain cool.

Sit down with your daughter and ask her why she wants them. You seem pretty laid back, so having a decent conversation with her about it probably isn’t out of the question. Just give her a chance to personally explain what about it appeals to her. From there, you can make your decision.

Does she play sports? A gagued ear seems a liability in that case.

I have a size 14 gauge – which is very small – in my cartilage. I have no intentions of making it any bigger than it, considering I’ve had it for about 10 years. I stretched it from an 18 to a 14, which is not a big difference. The gauges, the way they make them, are a lot easier to get into some piercings, than simply using “normal” earrings, like studs or whatever. It also helps them heal better, because you can twist it around, etc., etc. So not all gauges are huge, some are small and some stay that way. I got the piercing when I was your kid’s age.

temporary tattoos are /way/ more cool…

The stretching of her ear will not be permanent unless you let her go above the size of 0. I have had gauges for awhile though, and i did go bigger than 0, and my ears are fine. I can still function in a professional environment ( say business meetings, investment opportunities, and partnership opportunities with the company i work with) by just taking them out. I went all the way to ½ inch when i was 17 and by now you can barely see the holes. I’d say let her do the gauges, but not to the big sizes.

It’s usually a hipster look.

The question is, are you as her parent comfortable with it?

I found that, with my daughters, not saying “no”, but giving permission at a fixed date in the future often helps move past what might be a whim decision without turning it into a battle. It’s entirely reasonable to give her a date in the future, and stick to it. Appearance, when it’s not permanent, should not be a battleground with teens. If you can fix it with a credit card in an hour or two, then don’t sweat it. Hair can be cut differently and dyed back to a normal color, clothes can be replaced.

I must confess I got rather used to blue and hot pink hair. It made it easy to track her down when out in public. When she asked to shave her head, I asked that she do it for St. Baldrick’s Day and raise money as part of the deal. It grew back. And I’m generally on the rather conservative side of things.

Photographer Richard Ross photographed his daughter every day for the four years she was in high school. The collection, called Leela Cyd is an interesting look at how teens invent and reinvent themselves over the high school years.

I told my daugher no at 14 and said in two years if you still want to, we will discuss it again. She did it behind my back right after her 15th bday. (just several months after our discussion).

My 14 year old daughter just came home w/ gauges tonight. I think they’re a gross way to mutilate your own body. If she were 21 and in a famous rock band, I might feel different. But she’s not…she is 14, has to attend summer school for failing 3 core classes, & is just being rude and rebellious. Why does she think its okay to self-mutilate?!?!

@MomAlone You’re over reacting, it’s not self mutilating. If you read this thread you would see from many of us that have had gauged ears that they will close back up as long as they aren’t stretched to a ridiculous big size. I used to be able to fit a quarter through my ear but now you can barely tell my ear has been pierced.