I'm lonely, how do I find love?

by he or she do you mean you are bisexual?

I believe your problem was expressed in your last sentence “I just feel like I’m ready to have someone special in my life but he/she won’t come.” This mindset suggests that you are waiting for someone else to do the metaphorical footwork in order to develop a relationship with you.

Another important note is to begin “defining” your components.

By that I mean it’s time for you to build what you require in a mate and remember that what you expect from someone you must give them the freedom to expect out of you.

I am not talking about surface attractions such as the usual: sense of humor, nice hair, winning smile, etc… these are merely surface attractions that have no long term relevance to a relationship. What I’m suggesting is going on a journey of self-analysis and find out who YOU are.

Why are you lonely? Is it because you are biologically ready to have a partner or perhaps insecurity? These are difficult questions to answer and often times we are unaware of.

The problem is our sub conscious communicates in abstract forms. Our conscious, on the other hand, communicates in the concrete, thus guaranteeing some level of miscommunication. Until we can define what our sub-conscious is really telling us, our actions to remedy those communications will be in vain – including finding a mate.

@Kimboslice: Perhaps the “asker” is keeping their question in third person because they wish not to disclose their sexuality.

Start by grabbing a mirror and learning not to be lonely anymore. You should be your own best friend.

Having a partner in your life does not ensure that you still won’t be lonely. There are plenty of people in relationships that are equally as lonely as yourself. Right now you may be projecting yourself as lonely and depressed, are these qualities that you would look for in a mate? Chances are that no one else is, either.

The two above answers are great. I can only add: stop looking.

Steven Covey, author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People wrote about one’s sphere of influence. We often tend to focus our energy on things which are outside of our sphere of immediate influence—those things in our lives over which we have immediate control. This can only lead to frustration when those things over which we have no control stubbornly refuse to change. In your case, you have no real control over finding that “special someone.”

If we are to find true peace in life, we must first learn that those things won’t change by any action on our part. Then we can learn to focus our energy and effort on those things inside our sphere, i.e., the things mentioned by Riser and DeezerQueue. As we assert control over these things, the size of our sphere increases. I’d suggest you read Covey’s book. It’s a classic and has helped many people be more successful in all facets of life.

You can never be happy in a relationship until you are happy without one.

If you’ve done your best to find it, let it come to you.

You need to get out and meet people. If you don’t put in the effort it takes to be out in public meeting new people, how is your true love supposed to find you?

Make an effort to meet new people, and be the best person you can, and true love will look after itself. The first two are things you have control over, so work on them.