Do you always think of your s/o?

Well, I’m not going to lie & say Ive never thought of someone else whilst on the job… but thats only really with people I dont have strong feelings for. When I make love, as opposed to sex, I’m so focused on the other person the whole world just drops away.

@JeffVader
That’s a nice answer, thanks

@Dibley Always a pleasure :)

I only think of someone else when its within the boundaries of shared fantasy… I think, if communication is good, there should be no need to think of anyone else in secret.

If what you say is true – how did you arrive at the question? It is not a normal question for someone who has not had experience that involved “not thinking” of their SO.

Yes, I only think about my partner. Sometimes, if I wasn’t in the mood to being with, my mind will wander, and I’ll think about very random things, but not other people.

@DarkScribe Because I worry if he thinks of anyone else.

@Violet Yes, I’ll sometimes think of other situations, with my partner but in different surroundings.

if i’m thinking of another person then it’s him. but often i do find myself thinking of other things like recently i was stressing out over doing my taxes so sometimes they’d pop into my mind (finally i did them last night) or something else fairly important going on. it isn’t because the sex is boring or something but i am just easily distracted and it is kind of a problem. but since i really do feel like he is the “whole package” so to speak, i dont have a reason to think of anyone else.

My only focus is to make sure my boyfriend is comfortable and enjoying himself, so I’m really only thinking of him.
My mind has occasionally wondered, but never to the thoughts of another man.

I don’t know if he does the same or not.

I only concentrate on the here and now. I’m too simple minded to think of anyone else.

I always think of my s/o when having sex. But, I sometimes include another woman into the fantasy.

Any guy who says he always thinks of his SO in this situation is blatantly lying. What is the point in being honest and upsetting his SO about it?

Every now and then someone else sneaks in for a moment or two, but in the end, from start to finish, it’s all about her.

Sex is good! Though having said that there can be levels to it and they can be good sex or bad sex. Like @simplicity said if the communication is good then the sex should be, and vice versa. If the communication is good between you and your other there should be no need to fantasize outside of what is going to be a shared fantasy anyhow. ... Mutually fantasizing and the sharing of mutually agreeable games is just all that much more fun. By your self just don’t cut the same for me.

@ChazMaz… :) I think of you.

I think only about him.

I think of other faceless/nameless players, with no specific identity, in my fantasy. My husband and I have had in depth discussions regarding our fantasies and he is aware of mine. He puts a lot of effort into playing the various parts of my fantasy and I do the same for him. I guess I am not really thinking of someone else, just a different identity for my husband and visa versa.

@slick44 Dont encourage him for the love of god!

@JeffVader Party pooper you, I like @ChazMaz encouraged, it brings out the best in him.

@JeffVader .. lol sorry cant help myself

@Dibley Hahaha, somehow I cant see my words holding him back :)

I do always think of my SO during sex. I couldn’t imagine thinking about anyone else.

I can think of so many “Woody Allen” type responses. I have to restrain myself.

Yes, I always think of my Husband.
This question reminded me of [the lyrics] to this song. lol

Sure I think of others sometimes – some I’ve seen in porn, some of my friends, whatever – everyone’s involved in sexual situations and my husband is often a part of them – if some image is particularly exciting, I tell my husband as we’re having sex. I have a rich imagination and sometimes I include others in it but I don’t think there is anything to that and it’s really only because there is no way to turn my mind off – come to think of it, though, it doesn’t really happen that often and mostly when he’s going down on me because that’s a long, drawn out (thankfully, :) process and I employ all sorts of things including thoughts to turn me on.

Not surprisingly it’s the women here that mostly say they think about their s/o. Meanwhile most males are usually thinking about a work colleague, TV personality or perhaps even the s/o’s best friend. Man will, in most cases, revert to his raw instincts. We are programmed to seek variety and mate with as many partners as possible.

@beautifulbobby193 So to think of a tv persona is ‘reverting to raw instict’, just to clarify? I am not male yet I, apparently, have the same ‘instict’.

Simone, thinking of anybody else (celebrity or otherwise) is man reverting to his raw instincts. Most women
don’t have such instincts (particularly those in happy relationships) but that doesn’t mean such desires are exclusive to men. Some women enjoy variety in sexual partners, while most will be happy with one.

@beautifulbobby193 So a man, being in a happy relationship, will revert, no matter what? But a woman will revert in an unhappy relationship?

No, I am merely saying that most men IMHO will revert to this, regardless of whether his relationship is a happy one or not. Some women will do likewise, but not as many. This is due to different make ups in men and women.

@beautifulbobby193 So, like genetic make-ups, you think?

Sometimes I think of someone else. I think it happens when there are problems between us. It also happened at a time when I was having internet affairs. After my wife and I started couples counseling, it started going away, but it still happens. I think it has to do with my confusion about where I want to go with my life.

Hi Simone, yes, I think so.

@beautifulbobby193 Fascinating and do you have evidence for this?

Even with death separating us, she is constantly a part of my thoughts.

Hmmm….I’m not convinced that this is a “man thing”, but okay. I think it’s a person thing. Like, they could be happier or more fulfilled in thier relationship, so that’s why it happens.

How someone could have sex with the same old dick or pussy for years on end without ever having a new one was always such a mystery to me! How the heck do you keep from becoming bored out of your mind? How is it that the more devoted people never stray for 50 years? And, if I found a person with such devotion, where does pornography fit in, or should it be there at all?

I never understood any of that, until I met my husband. He didn’t understand it, either, but that devotion from another peson was something we both always wanted, so we were willing to do the work it takes to create it together. Plus, neither of us lies to each other about anything, so when we’ve talked about this, the trust was earned a long time ago. There is no doubt that we speak the truth to each other. He says he doesn’t think about anybody else, and I believe him. I don’t, either. We simply don’t desire anybody else except each other.

We do have an understanding, though. I am allowed to have raucous, sweaty, intense sex with David Boreanaz, and he is allowed to fuck the hell out of Salma Hayack, should these situations ever present themselves :)

I really hate when people stereotype men and women into different categories. Woman are just as likely as men to think about another person during sex. Will they openly admit it? Probably not. I’ve thought about other men while having sex with my fiancé but he was aware of this. And he’s admitted to doing the same. After years of being with only one person, sometimes it exciting to picture a different person. As long as it’s not your partner’s best friend, brother, or neighbor! Celebrities are always a safe bet.

“As long as it’s not your partner’s best friend, brother, or neighbor!”

But it probably is. :-)

@ChazMaz But your partner doesn’t need to know that! When in doubt, claim you were thinking about a good looking celebrity :)

Only when I need to slow things down. You know, dead puppies, the robotic voice of Stephen Hawking counting backwards from 300 by 3’s, Bea Arthur…

Never, I am “always” thinking of them.

“partner does not need to know.”

@GladysMensch Oh, I always try to do complex mathematical calculations when I need to slow down. You know, like what is 9 X 11

When we have sex, or I get myself off..I always think of him.

Only once during sex with a partner have I thought of another in order to “get off”. It was our first encounter and I wasn’t comfortable, shouldn’t have done it yet. With any other partners and the one I have now then knowing it’s them is the greatest excitement for me during sex and like as @JeffVader says, all else drops away. In fact, the bond I have now has had an effect on masturbation- I have a really hard time of it because I’m so tuned to my partner and his physical presence.

I used to, I even called my ex by another name while doing it! but now I just think of my fiance, he’s the best and Ilove him, maybe that’s why, I didn’t love the one before

i am one of the rare few that is absolutely entranced with my wife. i never think of other women but i do want her to fuck other men – its so hot. she also thinks of only me (darn!).

aha :P

this sdite is pretty darn fun.