What would be the most ineffective breed to have as a guard dog & what's the funniest you've seen?

Anything with a good bark is a good deterrent. Most intruders are not going to stick around to see whether it’s a Dachshund or a Pit Bull that’s behind the door.

Thus, anything that sounds more like its own squeaky toy would fail. Chihuahua, shih tsu, anything with -poo in its name, etc.

An Old English Sheep dog. Who could be afraid of one?

I have a bichon frise who barks furiously every time someone even approaches the house. He’s big for the breed, and his “voice” is quite deep, so if you don’t see him, you think he’s a ferocious beast. He scared the paramedics when my mom had to call 911 for my dad. And once he starts barking, he sets off the puppy, who chimes in with a high-pitched yap.

Once, he barked at a jogger on the street, who started laughing hysterically. The jogger said, “Oh, no, it’s an attack poodle!” Definitely not intimidated at all. :-)

GA, @Seek_Kolinahr! That had me laughing.

My friend has a Yorkshire terrier as her guard dog. It makes quite a bit of noise, but it’s pretty obvious by it’s bark that it is a tiny dog. Any would-be intruder would only have to worry about their ankles being nipped at.

Hehehe, I’m laughing at the mental image right now.

One of those wannabe dogs that are more rat than dog, like poodles.

@DarkScribe A sheep? An old English sheepdog has a very peculiar look about it,that’s if it can see at all with all that hair.

I had a ten-pound dog and learned that guard dog and watch dog are two different things.

She was ferociously territorial and went bananas when a stranger came near the house, putting on a vicious show with teeth and barking. She never actually bit and anybody could kick her across the room, but most people were scared of her.

Good watch dog, poor guard dog.

My golden retriever would probably try to help someone carry my stuff off if they broke into my house.

I had a guard pug. She would bark her head off when a stranger came to the house and then run right up to them and proceed to lick them to death. Very effective as a “dogbell” but really unhelpful with home security.

@buster More a receiver than a retriever then.

I had a ridgeback that was a wuss, but he sounded so good when he growled and barked. He kicked up a big fuss one night, so we got up and had a look and there was a burglar in our garage. We let the dog out, to chase him away, and the dog stood on the driveway and barked and growled like a monster and then came in, put his tail between his legs, cried and peed in fright.

a hairless chihuahua…...people would think that is a rat,.

@cazzie Too funny! Hopefully the burglar didn’t see that part of the performance…

My aunt got a malamute for a guard dog. She didn’t realize what the “mute” in the breeds name meant. He was sure a nice dog though.

My gormless cocker spaniel Prince was dead useless as a guard dog. No bark at all and never met a stranger he didn’t like.

My favorite breeds have always been Akitas and Bouviers. I have never trained one in Schutzhund but their appearance and size always gives the impression of a killer.

I have a friend who trains standard poodles as “rent a guard dog.” They perform very well and of course are trimmed in utility cuts so many do not even realize what breed they are.

Jack the Pug. He barks when someone comes to the door, but his snout is so short and smushed he couldn’t get his teeth around anyone! He looks like a sausage with legs and moves about as fast as a snail. As I once heard on an episode of Clifford the Big Red Dog, he “couldn’t scare a fly off a jelly doughnut!”

a corgie…you know the Queen of Englands dogs

rat dogs make great guard dogs. their yap is terrifying. not to mention they are huge, and their snaggleteeth could really do some damage to someones jugular….

@loser Sounds like my dog Max (and my puppy Minnie).