Is it too early to pursue her?

Go with the flow, man. Happy hunting!

Can you just date? You know, like do some things together without becoming sexually involved? Just take time to get to know each other?

Take things slowly. Be her friend first and foremost and see how things develop.

@Trillian I wasn’t suggesting sexual shenanigans straight away, I would only be telling her I’m interested :-)

All of us are different. your other relationship ended for a reason and the reason may just be this lady. everything in life happens for a reason and your reason may just be her.

Wouldn’t it be a shame if this was Miss Right and you let her slip through your fingers without telling her how you feel? life is too short. make the best of your time and “tell it like it is” to her. good luck.

Stay away, or at least go one day at a time. For the next year.

Rebound is a bitch.

One of the annoying things about break-ups is the lens they create. You view everything through it. Another thing is the way, especially when they end poorly, you begin to second guess yourself.

Are you happy with her? If so jump and see where it leads.

@partyparty I have considered that, but I’m worried about being stuck in that ‘friend zone’

@john65pennington Thankyou for the reply, I like your way of thinking about it. I sooo wish I were a more impulsive man.

@ChazMaz Wow, there is a stark contrast between yours and others answers here, are you talking from experience?

@wonderingwhy Very true. I am very unsure due to how my Ex made me feel. I would have been far more confident in my own abilities at one point, I would have had no problem in making a lady feel wanted, but now I’m very much a different person, worried about making the wrong move.

@ModernEpicurian open and honest and work from there with yourself as well as her. I’ve been in some dicey relationships and that’s always helped work things out regardless of which way they went. @john65pennington said it really well, you’ll only know if you try.

Modern, if this is meant to be, it will be. if she is the one, you will find the words and the correct moves to make it work. like i said, if its meant to be, it will be. ask cupid for a little help and see what happens.

@ModernEpicurian – Yes, as plenty are also.

I just do not believe in blowing wind up someones skirt.

But hey, they can dream on. Nothing wrong with that, except a bad answer.

@ModernEpicurian You will be able to tell after a few months if you are stuck in the ‘friend zone’, and move on if necessary.
If she is responding to you, then you can take things further. Just don’t rush things. Good luck

I am impressed that you would even question whether it was too early due to the fact that you’re newly out of a relationship. Most people look for a new mate more as a salve to quell the burn from the previous relationship, instead of digesting what their part was that made it go wrong. Or they get bitter. Neither is helpful or healthy.

That being said, if you WEREN’T freshly out of a relationship, my thoughts are thus: Be exactly who you are. If your impluse is to rush in, then rush in! And don’t feel guilty about it! There is a person out there who will appreciate and understand that aspect of you. Consider what won’t happen if you hide part of yourself; you only prolong the chance of finding a very, very close match to yourself, and hence, the happy union you seek. Stop operating from the mindset that there is something wrong with you. You got it? Good! :)

Be slow and cautious. Some “hermit time” might be good for you if you are of an introverted nature.

@john65pennington GA :-)

Spend a week or two sampling hookers and casual sex encounters, using websites to arrange. After that you should be ready to move on, subject to an STI test of course.

I think it’s hard enough to find someone who might be a good fit for you. If you are attracted to this woman, why not take it slow but go for it?

you sound very grounded to me…try it…trust your own feelings x and let us know how it goes..

be careful once you figure out women…you wont want them any more…hurry up and dummy yourself down

I’ve always felt that if the feelings were there, they should be pursued. I have loved many wonderful women, although some were not for more than a month or so.

However, lately I’ve been questioning the nature of the love I have to give. I’ve been trying to figure out the difference between healthy and unhealthy love. So you probably want to take my opinion with a grain of salt.

Take it slowly. In my experience, after getting out of a relationship where I was basically lied to the whole time, it took a lot for me to trust again and want to date men. For me, it took about a year – year and half before i found someone worth making effort to get involved with again. The time period differs from person to person, but i would definitely take some time to make sure your head is right and that you are over what happened in the past, or you will bring it into the new relationship…Good luck!

Tell her the truth. Tell you you enjoy her company, look forward to knowing more about her but have come through a rough spot and ask her patience as you find your way around dating again. She’ll get it. Most people have been hurt or let down at some point and can empathize with the want for safety even in the face of a great discovery.

Why wait? I say go for friendship and then pursue her.

do what feels right. well that worked for me, I was in the same situation than you and actually the day after my ex and I broke up, I ( yes, I ) asked out the one that now is my fiance, and we’ve been together for 3 years. love, sometimes shows up at the wrong time, so you got to be open for it, unless you feel guilty cause you still have feelings for her :)

No.