Is it easier to be in a relationship with a person you dont like as much?

I think that perhaps you should do some work on your character. It seems to be lacking something essential.

Why would you choose to be with a person you don’t like “as much”??
Settler!!!
LMAO

So your saying you dont like her because you feel she is not pretty enough for you? Thas pretty lame. what about the person she is on the inside.

Well, i guess i hit the jackpot with my wife. she has both the looks and the personality.

I think my answer depends on your long term plans. if you are not planning on marrying this person, then just go with the flow. you have to ask yourself, “what will this person look like 20 years down the road?”.

Each person is different. if you are comfortable with her now, then stay and see what developes.

Looks are not everything. a good heart will always be the winner in a person.

Way to settle there.
That sounds like going to New Jersey for your vacation instead of Hawai’i.

If you truly feel this way you need to break up today because thts a pretty shitty way to feel about your girlfriend.

You need to set her free so she can look for someone who actually respects her instead of treating her like 2nd hand furniture.

At least you should give it a try first. If it’s not going so well then you can find another that you desired.

@ sick I do value what is on the inside better than what is on the outside…that is why I am with her. But lets be honest here, every man wants a beauty queen but unfortunately most beauty queens come with a high price. Most of the times guys end up on the wrong end of the stick with those kind of girls. I know this girl that i am with since from high school so I kind of understand who she is..its just that honestly i dont like her as much but she can treat me pretty good and I dont want to be the kind of guy that plays on a girl like that. I dont have the stomach for that. Am I wasting my time?

You’re right. She obviously should feel privileged for the catch she’s landed.

Cornbird, hats off to you for thinking of her, rather than yourself. i call this dumping someone. its not fun to be dumped, no matter if you are or are not the dumper or dumpee. i would not play this girl along, just to have someone to hang out with. you know she is going to receive the wrong signals from you and thats heartbreak somewhere down the road for her. from your answer, you seem to be not that type of person. how about just being friends and making sure she understands this? by doing so, she will understand, upfront, exactly why you two are together. this hopefully will prevent her from falling in love with you. agree?

Hell hath no fury… beware.

Ever think that maybe she feels the same way? I think I even saw a similar question posted by a girl…

If I ever start a question on fluther thought that begins “I am in a relationship with a person that I like but not so much,” then I would know it was time to not be with that person. What good could possibly come of it?

@john65pennington I want to give it some time just to experience this situation. Human beings can change. Maybe after a while i can grow to love this person. A guy once gave me an ultermatum. He said what would you rather, a woman who is real pretty and never pays you any attention, comes home late or always bitches all the time, or a woman who as soon as you come home, has a nice hot plate of food ready for you and you can trust to leave home alone and not find anyone with her. I mean a virtuous woman is the hardest thing to find in this world. Have any of you ever dated a person that you dont like as much but they treated you much better than the person whom you liked afterwards?

Basically you like her as a person, but you do not find her attractive?

She is attractive but I like her more as a person.

The worst part is that she told me that she is in love with me….. she is the first girl that has said that to me. And when i didnt say it back…she just said thats ok and that i can say it later… Unfortunately i really feel what you all are saying and i suppose the right thing is to dump her but honestly i dont want to. I want to at least give it some good time.

@cornbird… Let her go. your only going to end up hurting her. If you dont care for her , be straight with her and MAYBE you can remain friends. As far as every guy wanting a beauty gueen, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And barbie is brainless.

@slick And then what? I find somebody who I like and they treat me the same way…then what?

@cornbird .. you sound a little to needy, do you have to have someone in your life,even if it means someone is unhappy? and do you have to have a runway model to make you happy. Try taking a step back, think about what you want out of a relationship.

Well, you could always ask her. Say something like, “Honey, is it easier to be in a relationship with me, or would you rather hold out for someone who likes you a little more?”

It’s true that more beautiful, higher maintenance women sometimes come “with a cost,” as you say. Perhaps they are used to being treated like a queen, and will demand that kind of treatment from you. Perhaps they have their pick of the men and will choose the higher bidder. If you are good-looking and wealthy, you may be able to land one of them. Sure, it’s costly, but life is all about choices, isn’t it? If beauty is pretty high on your list, and you can afford it, dump the chick that loves you and go for the status symbol.

On the other hand, ladies that love you, that doesn’t happen every day. The girl you’re with might not be the one for you, but I will tell you that it’s easier to find someone hot than someone willing to put the work into the relationship and who loves you back.

Bottom line: if you’re not ready to settle down yet (you sound young), date around for a while. Date beauty queens (if you can get them to give you the time of day), date homely girls that are nice, date the average. (Most people are average.) And then when you have that out of your system, and you don’t feel like you’re missing out because you’ve been there and done that, then find someone who you love who loves you back. Perhaps by then, you will notice that looks fade, or aren’t as important in the first place, and that what matters is how close she holds you in her heart. And by then, you will be ready to give her (whoever she is) the kind of love she deserves, right back.

Flashback to Jimmy Soul

But seriously, you say she can treat me pretty good and I dont want to be the kind of guy that plays on a girl like that. I dont have the stomach for that. Am I wasting my time?

When you put it like that, she’s wasting her time. It may not be nice on your part, but the heart wants what it wants. Staying with her because of what you get out of it in the way of understanding and hot meals and not having to worry about someone else wanting her? Sounds like you’re using her. What’s she getting out of it other than the “privilege” of being in a relationship with a guy who is basically treading water because he’s afraid he can’t do any better?

Ha! @laureth has backbone :)
I agree, ask her, “hon, are you satisfied feeling in love with me when I don’t love you and honestly, I really don’t even dig you that much but it sure beats the hell out of being alone or getting bummed out by girls I’d rather chase but who turn me down? You’re such a good person inside, I just knew you’d understand if I opened up with my feelings for you. What trooper you are, what a gem!”

This whole things reads like major SUCKAGE and CRAPULENCE to me. Let the girl go so some other guy can pay her genuine attention she deserves instead of the scraps you feel so okay with giving.

“Very nice and understanding” do not sound like very high standards for choosing someone with whom to share a long relationship. I mean, is it even a relationship?

It’s a lot more easier. You never have to worry about them cheating on you, never need to worry that they might leave you and break your heart, never need to worry your not good enough. So much more less pain. I think I will definitely go back to taking the easy route after this relationship.

Reguardless of what I feel and what I justify myself doing….I must be a man and admit that you all are RIGHT. I know that it is a wrong thing that I am doing, but as far as the relationship is going so far, its going good. My decision is to stay with her at least for a year and then according to how things go, I will decide whether to continue or end it. What do yall say to that?

I say, if there’s a better than 50–50 chance you’re going to end it, end it sooner. This girl will just be in deeper and have her heart broken about a billion times worse if you use her for a year and then rip her heart, bleeding, out of her chest and stomp on it.

I can’t make your decisions for you – I can only tell you what i would prefer as the woman in that equation.

I’m with @laureth on this.
There’s nothing worse than thinking the person you’re investing your time in is with you because:

Being with you feels better than being alone.
You’re grateful to them for being so “good”.
You’re not who they’d have chosen but they don’t think they can have that person anyway so you’ll fit the bill as “next best thing”.
You are the “sensible” choice that friends, family, co workers, etc. think you should give a try.
You are the one they take for granted not to cheat, take advantage or let you down so you “settle”.

A lof of us are willing to take the 2nd (or 3rd or 4th) position to see if you’ll end up head over heels with us because we feel we have a lot to offer but it mostly hurts to never feel like “The One”. For reference, see the thread around here about Pedestal Girl.