What would be an outrageous thing to say on first meeting the love of your life's parents?

I’d love to be your caddy for tomorow’s game dude, but I gotta go to court.

This might not make the best first impression.

Your daughter has nice tits, but her crotch smells fishy. But I love her anyway!

“Whenever I ejaculate, I fart”?

@Mariah I can see where that could cause friction yes. @ragingloli Perfectly reasonable ice breaker, not in the slightest bit offensive, really.

Your son can fuck like a stallion and likes doggie-style the best! Thanks for not shielding his eyes when all your farm animals were making duplicates. Say, pops…..I hear you that your donkey was your first love. Any tips?

@gailcalled Whoever heard of such an outrage. I mean, some people.

@phillis Oh by the gods…you win this one. :D XD

@phillis I’m hoping you’re not speaking from experience ;¬}

@ucme Only part of it is my experience, ucme :)

I never got the chance. Her mother died 8 years before we met and her father wasn’t on speaking terms with her.

Howdy. Thought y’all were dead.

@phillis Of course, his first love must have been his ass.

“Nice house… do we get it when you die?”

“Oh hi! I’ve been so looking forward to meeting you guys. Oh. By the way. I’m 2 months pregnant!”

Bitch can really suck dick.

@chels ..& it’s not your son’s!!

“So nice to meet Joe’s pare… oh, so nice to meet Mike’s parents!”

@dpworkin That’s her mother you’re talking about & with her husband sat right beside her.

“Gonorrhea is one hell of a disease…Your daughter has probably told you already.”

’‘Hi, i am Joe, soon to be Joanne.’’’

To the mother ; hell You’ve got more chins than a Chinese phone book!

To the father ; Do you want me to accept you as you are or do you want me to like you?

:-/

During the most awkward first meeting I had, I just said “good morning”
(Stumbling out of my girlfriends bedroom and meeting daddy in the hallway.)

Wow, baby, I see where you get your boobs!!

@plethora Poor Dad, weight issues?

You used to clean poop off of his balls, and now I lick them.

His semen makes my hair so shiny.

“Dude. I’ve never been much of a sportman’s double kind of guy, but I’m starting to change my mind.”

Is it true you ounce dressed up in a thong bikini at your son’s seventh birthday?

To the mother ; PHWWOOAAaaarrr I’d do you!

To the father ; Wanna watch?

:-/

my most awkward first encounter with a boyfriends parents: Frank came out of the kitchen and boy was introducing me “dad, this is Sam” AS I FALL DOWN THE STAIRS – like a little kid, boom boom boom on my ass. “hey Sam, you can drop in anytime!” says Frank in his heavy Italian accent! haha, still cracks me up!!!

So how long you in for?

No need to worry about contraception folks, she prefers it up the ass!

:-/

“Ich wil den Klavierstein!”

I 1st thought she was 16 but when I found out she was older and could suck a bowling ball through 12 feet of garden hose I figured “why not?”

Your daugher is quite loose back there, I was able to sode between those cheeks with hardly any lube.

Hello mon, dad, she tell me you have heart problems pop, how much are you leaving her when you croak?

You ought to be proud of your little girl see makes me more a light than all my other girls combined.

Yes your daughter and I met at a Adolf Hitler dedication rally.

After I drugged and rape your daughter at a frat party I fell in love with her.

“So hey, do you queef a lot too? I was wondering if it was due to some weird hereditary vaginal shaping.”

@phillis “Say, pops…..I hear you that your donkey was your first love.” =>”...oh and by the way, how’s that ass of yours doing?”

@mollypop51797 Works for me! He shows his often enough. I’m thinking of getting him a bottle of Mane and Tail shampoo and a giant tube of KY Jelly next Father’s Day.

Well she’s a great looking gal, bright, intelligent she sure caught my eye!
She’s adopted right?

:-/

removed by BoBo!

loll..well, thank you very much for the lurves! Wrote something, but Ucme’s question was what not to say….could not think of anything practical and applicable. Can think of a lot of ridiculous stuff!

Oh, sorry Guv, I’ve just gobbed on yer carpet!

“hi, so we’ll just be in your room, we’ll be an hour or so, meanwhile, I’ll have my steak rare”

“It’s okay that we’re going to be sharing a room tonight. Your daughter is homosexual.”

@aprilsimnel Gobbed?!?! Barf!

@ubersiren – Well, to be honest, it’s a quote (start @ 0:49). Oh, diarrhea!

Would you like us to make a donation to the Redwood Foundation in your name when the time comes?

Wow, nice meeting you again. I should’ve realized that (insert boy/girlfriends name) was your son/daughter, when I saw the same identical birthmark on their rear.

Hi Dad… I can call you that right… seeing I just married your daughter… and your name is…oh never mind… Can I borrow some money Things are a little tight since I quit my job?

Do you wanna smell something weird?

How we met? I was his fluffer.

I have two jobs. Days I work at a factory where we take leftover animal parts and cut them down into a paste and can them to be sold as meat.
Nights I train teens enough functional English to be sold into servitude. Funny, now that I think of it, both jobs I am preparing something to be sold as meat, ha ha.

I’m a Democrat, but I voted for Trump because he was my first.

Speaking of favorites, your son said his favorite position is 69. Mine is 68. Ha ha, that means you do me and I’ll owe you one.

No, I don’t go to church, but I’ll try anything once. Your son sure knows that.

Were both of you virgins when you got married?

I was so nervous about meeting you, but I smoked a double decker joint on the way here and I feel super now. I still have some, if you want to pass one around now.

We aren’t planning to have any kids, so if an accident happens, would you be willing to take it?