How can I most effectively get what I want in any situation, utilizing social dynamics?
Asked by
norah (
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April 18th, 2010
I want to learn everything I possibly can about this. I’ve recently read The Game which is for the purpose of picking up women. That’s of no use to me, but it occurs to me that being savvy about psychology and social dynamics can be very useful for all sorts of situations. I’m especially interested in getting what you want/need from bullies (the adult variety) and various other alpha males when you are a woman and can’t just be crazy alpha back. What’s the subtle way to manipulate (for good and justice, of course). I’m open to books, workshops, the gamut. I’d even like to know if there is specific language for this. I’ve heard of NVC, but I’d like to know more. Bring it.
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7 Answers
Pull when pushed, push when pulled
Study about body language. Reading that can give one a distinct advantage in all social situations.
You can’ always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need! (Rolling Stones)
If I knew the answer to that, you wouldn’t be able to get it because I would already have it all. :-)
You’re asking this group? Oh, you’re new. Nevermind about that then.
First, fine hone your ability to judge character. That could take years, based on the number of your experiences with many different people. The best people to watch are politicians. They aren’t the end of the story, but it’s a damn good place to start. A great orator can woo any crowd. Two extreme opposite examples would be Adolf Hitler and Maya Angelou.
You also have to consider the social climate of the crowd you’re watching. A crowd is a lot like an individual. They grow, change, bitch and moan, get riled at the same things, hope and dream, push and pull, and make the same mistakes an indvidual would make.
What is it those people want? Most “developed” societies are in a constant state of unrest. What is it they are complaining about, and who is addressing those complaints? Those are the leaders, some of which are politicians. Others are leaders in industry, while still others distinguished themselves through philanthropic endeavors. What makes them leaders? Are they just spouting sincere-sounding words, or do they actually get things done? What makes them believable? What are their mannerisms? How do they use their bodies to emphasize their words?
That is a very basic overview of your journey into exploring this. I wish I could say that everyone who sounds altruistic is sincere, but that is not the case, and it never will be. Focus on the fakes! They will better highlight for you the sharp contrast you need in order to isolate and identify your specific niche.
You can begin by reading the Gold Standard of such things:
How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
His course is still utilized in corporate training seminars for major big bucks. You can get the same info for the price of the aforementioned book.
Still being used today. There’s nothing like a classic.
Read up on him in Wiki. Interesting.
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