Is severe drunkeness and a large group of drunk people cheering you on a real excuse for screwing around?

Why is “Mrs Slut” the slut? Adam is just as much the Slut.

@meagan I think because she had sex with several other guys that same night too. Unless I’m misunderstanding somewhere.

Mrs. Slut had been chasing him for sometime and she was married, plus she did several guys on the beach that night. From what I heard, he did her and then passed out. She kept going and it wasn’t the first time she did it. Apparently drunk or sober she would do anyone any way.

No.
This is why I avoid alcohol like the plague.
But those who like getting wasted and losing all inhibitions should suffer the consequences if they do something stupid.
I mean, it’s not like someone forced the beer down their throats.

Adam is just as much at fault as anyone else who had sex with Mrs Slut if they were also in relationships. Gawd, as many years as I’ve spent in drunk situations, I never had sex with anyone drunk I wouldn’t have had sex with sober and even in super unhappy relationships and with plenty of propositions and opportunity, I never cheated.

Severe drunkeness is no excuse for breaking vows. Freaking Adam should’ve drunk himself into a blackout instead or gone away from everyone to “cool his heels” instead of deciding to go ahead and roll with the cheat.

Do you want the textbook answer or the realistic answer?

@Blackberry LOL, Give them both a shot. :D

@squidcake So are you saying that Adam had no control over his actions that night once he was drunk?

I think that when people are drunk they do things they might want to do while sober, but their common sense tells them it’s not a good idea. Therefore, I think that drunkenness stifles inhibitions. Inhibitions are there for a good reason, so we shouldn’t drink to excess unless we are willing to accept the consequences of our actions.

That said, I know someone who drinks a considerable amount, and he never was unfaithful to his SO, despite plenty of opportunity and long periods of absence of that person. This demonstrated to me that people can control their behavior if they choose..

I’m not an expert on this, as my drunkenness experience is very limited, but that’s the way it looks to me.

Oh, so because he only had sex ONCE with someone he isn’t married to he isn’t a slut. Got it.

@Pandora
I’m saying that he chose to get drunk, in an environment where things could go wrong, and should therefore be responsible for his actions.

What ^she^ said.

Excuse? No, the person who chooses to use alcohol to excess is also choosing to accept the consequences of the impaired judgement that goes along with it.

Well, the textbook answer obviously being that alcohol is not an excuse for getting away with behavior society deems wrong. We can’t rob a bank or club a baby seal and get away with it because of alcohol.

But….if we all look at how alcohol actually affects us, I’m just saying we should not be surprised when these things happen. People will change in some way when they are drunk: From sad to happy, happy to angry, shy to extreme extrovert. Doing things like cheating is just another behavior. If we wouldn’t do it sober, then the effects of alcohol are ostensibly strong enough (when abused) to make us lose such ingrained inhibitions and moral character.

Basically, it’s our fault what we do, but there is still pressure, pushing and coercion (alcohol, friends, friendly drunk members of the opposite sex, and being human).

@YARNLADY
My point exactly. :)

@squidcake, Ok, but I wanted to know if you thought it possible that it was something he always wanted to do and getting drunk is just an excuse or can one be so drunk that they really have no control.
@meagan Never said he wasn’t a slut. Just she was a bigger slut. I personally don’t believe being drunk is an excuse to do anything wrong.

If he was that drunk… he wouldn’t have been able to have sex.

@YARNLADY

I’m copying and pasting what you just wrote to use as a new answer to all sorts of alcohol related stuff!

@Pandora
Well, think of it this way. When a drunk guy at a concert tries to suffocate me and has me in a choke hold, should I be thinking “Well, he’s been wanting to do this to me his whole life!” ?

I don’t belive anyone can ever be so drunk they can claim complete exoneration of mind. Bullshit!

I have been drunk in my life and never was not conscious of what I was doing.

It’s the pack mentality at work here, you know, the dogs feeding off of each other as they run down the deer.

Of course, no one dog would ever betray his loyalty on his own, but, running with the pack brings out all the dogs dogginess.

Why do you think men have been given the ‘dog’ label? lololol

There is the issue of group mentality as well.
@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Interesting! o_O Have to take your word on that, since I’m not a guy.

too drunk to fuck

@squidcake Good point. Maybe not you, but he may have been wanting to kill someone for sometime and you were at the wrong place at the wrong time. But now that I think of it, it may have been the same with her. He just wanted to do somebody and she was a warm and willing body. So wouldn’t it be he was still looking to do someone, anyone? But I bet you he would’ve stopped if it were a guy.

I think people have this idea that they’re supposed to act idiotic when they’re drunk, and so it is in fact not the alcohol at all that is making their decisions. But once they do something they regret, they blame the alcohol.

@squidcake Agree.

@squidcake Although denying the alcohol has no part at all isn’t accurate though is it? If this was the case we could fight all of the psysiological and psychological effects. Alcohol is not a placebo, when it is abused, it helps the user to not apply critical thinking that he or she would definitely use if they were sober. This is just my opinion though, was wondering what you guys think.

When nothing bad happens, even if you make a friend or talk with someone you wouldn’t normally get along with, the alcohol (or drug) is helping make that decision to be the freespirit or nice guy that wants to try something new etc.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies
Uh oh, Dead Kennedys!

Hmm. He’s out for a night, and with alcohol, can pretend he hasn’t just gotten married or accepted an adult responsibility. She can pretend that these guys actually like her and that, hey, she’s footloose and fancy-free, too, and sod her husband. And the other oafs just want to see and do something “exciting”.

Only alcohol could make people act so stupid.

No excuse whatsoever. Drinking lowers your inhibitions, so you are more likely to say what you’ve always though but didn’t say, and do what you want to do but normally wouldn’t.
May they all crash and burn.

@Blackberry, Then in that case, wouldn’t it be premeditated whoring? The alcohol becomes bullets for your brain and you know you are going to fire at something.

@Trillian Agree but I think the last statement is a little harsh. :(

@Neizvestnaya That was funnnnny! Lmao! Good one. :D

@Pandora Well yeah, if one is planning on whoring it up lol. I think the question can be as well: Why do many of us need a drug to ‘let go’ or do something we wouldn’t typically do, good or bad…..as if we are all repressed or too strict on ourselves. Or maybe it is a good thing we are being mature and fighting our animal core. This is an interesting topic i’d like to focus more on later.

@Pandora Yeah. I’m working on not being bitter. The cheating thing is still kind of an open sore for me.

This reminds me of the different ids and egos theory. Maybe these things we all do and say when we are drunk and or high really are always there, but of course we don’t let them out because we have created morals and etiquette, rules etc. This systems works of course, but the alcohol and drugs make these easily fabricated rules and morals breakable by simply deciding they are not there…...

@Trillian Yikes! We ain’t talkin’ about bad drivers anymore :D

People know that getting drunk can lead to irrespnsible behavior, so I have no pity. The girl can be a slut if she wants to be, but a slut who is married has a responsiblity to her husband. The girl’s a cum dumpster.

Any married person who blames the alcohol is a train wrek waiting to happen. Tammy Wynette has a song just for those types. If it happened with my husband, the only words I want to hear from him prior to the divorce is “I am completely responsible for what happened. I put myself in a compromsing position, used no discernement in my choice of friends, and have dishonored every bit of effort you have ever put into making our marriage work. I apologize, and make no excuse for my agregious behavior. I will attend councelling until such time I become fully cognizant of the pain I have caused my wife.”

The sex drive comes from the reptilian part of our brains. Alchohol shuts down the cognitive, reasoning, higher thinking part – basically, the frontal cortex. Even if a person does not know this, they still need the ability to foresee a compromising event. It’s not like the evening didn’t have red fucking flags all over it. What an asshole.

@phillis exactly. People know how they’re affected by alcohol, so that lame excuse; “I was drunk, I couldn’t help it.” makes me want to vomit.
Idiot, then you shouldn’t have gotten drunk.
I’ve had a couple boyfriends that would get stupid drunk and I came away from it with an abhorrence for being around drunk people.

@phillis So if it shut down the frontal cortex than why is it some people can still get smashed and not do anything they normally wouldn’t do when sober.

@Blackberry Forgive me if I’m miss understanding but I getting tired and feeling my frontal cortex shutting down. But are you saying that some people may choose to get drunk because they want to be another personality and drinking allows it to come out?
Well guys its getting late and I’m forgetting how to type. I wished I had thought of this questions earlier. Its come up with some interesting thoughts. I’ll be checking it tomorrow. Wish you all a good an sober night. :D

Pandora you said it better than I did lol.

It, honestly, should never be an excuse to screw around. That’s putting blame on something else, and if it works, then it might become a repeating thing. It’s all about how you handle your liquor and how you handle unlikely situations.

@Pandora They haven’t had enough alcohol. We’re talking pretty much sloppy drunk and surring words here. Think of it as a domino effect. There is a predicatable, set pattern to the normal brain’s shutting down. First is loss of ocular muscular control. Cops know this! This is why they ask you to folow the penlight. Think about where the retina goes after it leaves the eyeball, then you’ll see what I mean. Then, slightly stumbling over words. Then, slurring of speech and imbalance. Think of a stroke patient in order for those last two to make sense. Eventually, the whole frontal cortex and prefrontal cortex are compromised. Reason has left the building.

I wonder how many of the jellies on this thread are flunking?

@mcbealer Holy crap! I can’t believe you remembered my word out of all those awesome ones people came up with!

Is it “a real excuse”... well gee it’s so subjective, but I’d say no, but it does make it a different thing than if he had sex with her sober and/or in private. But gee, I’d say you’d be totally justified and probably wise to dump him. In Japan I hear that drunkenness is considered a mitigating circumstance however, which I say as one example of how relative and up for interpretation it is.

I have heard many people say that they have lost control sexually when drunk. So I think it does work that way for some people. Some people act out a lot when drunk, or even take on alternate personas. Some people also use alcohol as an excuse to avoid blame or even self-criticism. Pressure from others, too. Judgement can certainly go out the window.

This is a case of alcohol seriously impacting one’s life, which is a substance abuse problem. The person needs help. The question for the partner become what are they willing to take and will they stay or leave. It’s a tough position which I’ve been in… no fun. Ultimately it’s up to you to define your own boundaries, communicate them, and stick to them.

I lose a lot of control over my sexual behaviour when I get drunk. I mean I’m a randy bugger at the best of times but get more than a few drinks in me and I really struggle to control myself.

So I would guess that the behaviour is certainly within him, however he may be able to control it perfectly when his judgment isn’t impaired by alcohol and he isn’t being egged on by a pack of blokes.

Not everyone that gets aggressive when drunk causes fights when sober, people that get melancholy aren’t necessarily depressed and silly people aren’t always childish. Alcohol doesn’t always just bring out behaviour that is within us, so to speak, it can totally change some people.

In fact, I don’t think it’s possible to judge his sober behaviour at all, based on his behaviour under these circumstance. Certainly it is safe to say that get him drunk and egged on by mates and any thoughts of his wife will go out of his mind and he will be capable of anything.

Provided he began the night choosing to drink and believing he would likely get drunk, he’s responsible, as many of his actions, including his impaired judgement are the foreseeable result of his choice. As to the large group of people cheering you on – unless someone is holding a gun to your head it’s still you’re choice.

One thing to keep in mind, alcohol is a de-inhibitor. It can make what you think is wrong or stupid when sober seem much less so at the time and the more of it you have, well, the greater the effects. The extent to which you can be held responsible for that is debatable because there can come a point where unforeseen circumstances arise. Expecting a drunk to correctly navigate those circumstances isn’t logical. You could argue that that’s part of the foreseen impaired judgement, but only to the extent you would argue the same when sober. So the core of it is, was this reasonably foreseeable on his part prior to being drunk?

Years ago my drunken ex-husband was so blotto that he actually climbed into bed with our neighbors ( friends ) wife! lol ( I was NOT amused at the time! )

We had been partying all afternoon into the night next door at their house, the houses had the exact same floor plans.

I went home late and my friends husband passed out on the couch. Mt ex stumbled into the bedroom and crawled into bed with my friend. She woke up that morning and they both freaked out! haha To make matters worse her husband had walked in on the scene and was not amused himself, although he believed nothing had happened.

Another drunken tale from the front…drove said ex to chinese dinner one night and he was so mesed up that while looking over the tab he exclaimed..” CHUNG DU? We didn’t order anything called Chung Du!”

I took the bill from him and relaized that he was reading the abbriviation at the bottom of the tab that says ” Chg. due.”

Oh my f—king GOD!

Talk about marrying down…yep…got rid of him! lololol

I’ll tell you what…when someone is already mentally challenged adding alcohol to the mix just deletes what few brain cells they have to begin with.

2 bricks does not a foundation build! hahahaha

I think people can loose their inhibitions and self awareness when drunk which dependent on the environmental factors can influence their behaviours and thought processes.

Reflecting personally on my experiences of being drunk I still feel that the choices I make are directed by my instilled personal values and therefore I wouldn’t totally loose my inhibitions i.e. have a one night stand or loose my dignity.

The behaviours I present whilst drunk are as a result of the choices I have made and therefore I am responsible for my actions.

I think some people are all too quick to blame their lack of self control on the fact they are under the influence of alcohol!

Never.

Of course not.