Perfect Man/Woman, BUT-?

Hell no!

I am finally at that great time of life where I would never, ever, give up anything for relationship ever again!

It’s a good place to be. Freedom and contentment!

If those were the requirements, then that person isn’t the perfect match for me. I’m having a ‘does not compute’ moment.

@gemiwing It’s a hypothetical so you could just consider it “near perfect” for the sake of computation :)

Your line may not be as extreme as those examples given, it could be something along the lines of, “You’re not allowed to eat tomatoes again,” or “You have to hold his/her hand whenever out together”

@davids thank you Well, then I suppose I would have to say no. I value my ability for choice too highly. Perhaps to the point of character flaw.

Isn’t there a downside or something you have to give up or concede to in every relationship? They may be the perfect person for you, but no person and no relationship is perfect. With my SO there are things everyday we have to compromise on, and I don’t mind because I love him and I want him to be happy; and he feels the same way about me. So yes, If someone said I could have him but I had to give up something in return, I would do it. I can’t imagine my life without him in it.

@veronasgirl At which point would you stop and say, “Hey, I’m being asked to give up too much” though?

#4 doesn’t sound so bad. Now where is my perfect match? Lol.

Agreed 100 % with @veronasgirl

What the…

I’d go with #2, but only if I could choose the meals….

1: Fettechini Alfredo with Chicken
2: Pizza (from anyone, not one type)
3: Cheeseburgers

No thanks,I’d rather be alone.

@davids My SO is my best friend and unless he is the one asking me to give up these things, I would accept them as a part of life. In a normal relationship without these hypotheticals you are proposing, things happen everyday that force us to choose between our SO and something else. That is when you figure out how much you love that other person and if they are the right person for you. If it was a case of an SO telling me I had to give up a lot of things that were important to me to be with them I might start to question if the relationship was a healthy one.

What you are actually describing is a controlling relationship, not a ‘love’ relationship.

Anyone that asks another to give up anything for the sake of a relationship has issues.

My only issue if I ever found myself in that situation would be how I was going to dispose of that person.

I have zero tolerance for control freaks these days…allow me to show you the door, and count yourself lucky if you leave with all your parts intact. lolololol

Nope, my freedom is more important than a woman, plus this whole situation is a contradiction, you can’t have a perfect mate but have a shitty life.

@Coloma Assume in the hypothetical that the conditions of it are not imposed by the other man/woman, but by say another person for their own disturbed reasons.

@Blackberry The point is to see what is the tipping point for you, the examples I’ve given are extreme. But what if it were something small, like you weren’t allowed to wear blue items of clothing? That wouldn’t make for a shitty life, but if you loved blue, it might be an inconvenience.

Although…I believe that the book of Proverbs in the bible is not the only place that says something to the effect that “It is better so share a crust of stale bread in an attic with someone you love than to eat a steak in a palace with one you despise.”

@Blackberry , What if you did in fact have the perfect mate but bad things kept happening to you. For example: You lose your job, have to declare bankruptcy, and the bank reclaims your home. That is not your mate’s fault and doesn’t change their perfection, but it may make for a pretty “shitty” living condition.

Tempting but family always comes first.

Besides, You were never allowed to see your family again?

This person would become your family. So your perfect match would fall under rule #1.

@veronasgirl Our @Blackberry has some issues with women. We’re hoping that he can work through them soon and that he can have a fulfilling, satisfying relationship with one someday. We really like him and want to see him happy. In the meantime, we try to not get upset about some of his views. Or argue with him.~
@Blackberry Kiss kiss. How ya’ been, sweetie?

Those conditions make the person far from perfect.
I’m giving the “no-go” vote here.

Like a virgin, touched for the very first time.

@Trillian , Ahh. I’ve been there and understand, I’ll keep that in mind next time. :)

@davids I gotcha, I would still say no, though. This is just because I’m sure we have all been in situations where someone already seemed perfect, but you had to put up with something to keep them, it just seems not worth it and to find someone that may not be what you want and be happier.

@veronasgirl But…its hypothetical, sso she would be a plus-size model and we would be rich lol…..(I don’t do well with hypotheticals).

@Trillian I’m good, I have met an awesome woman, but since I’m in the military I have to leave her in a year.

@Blackberry , Haha! Now that’s the way to think when you are dealing with hypotheticals, only personal ideals!

@Captain_Fantasy The listed conditions are extreme examples, but here’s a slightly less extreme example: Perfect man/woman BUT you’re only allowed to go on holidays out of your home city at most once every 7 years?

@Blackberry Copy that shipmate. I really hope you can work something out. Do you have orders yet?

1) You were never allowed to see your family again?
Sure.

2) You were only allowed 2–3 different set meals ever again?
That’s bordering on a serious deal breaker right there, maybe if I get to chose the set meals. But yeah, I may have to go with no.

3) You weren’t allowed to socialise with anyone unless this person was there?
Depends if that includes online stuff, I really hate having people watch over my shoulder while I’m typing/reading. Otherwise, we’re all good.

4) You were only allowed to wear clothing that is pink and blue?
Sure.

What would have to be withheld/forced upon you by this “perfect” person for you to no longer consider them perfect?
If they’re perfect they would never force any such conditions on me to begin with.

I actually had this sort of conversation with a female friend recently, what we would/ would not be willing to ‘give up’ for the sake of relationships these days.

She has just ended a 5 yr. relationship with a controlling man who wanted her to give up her pets, become more glamorous ( she is already incredibly beautiful ) right down to looking over her shoulder to make sure she burped the ziplock bag properly!

While this guy has perfectionistic and OCD issues, I was trying to tell her that aside from that he did have a ‘right’ to not want to live with her 5 cats and house rabbit if he wasn’t an animal person.

I told her that I could be madly in love with a guy but…if he insisted his 100 lb. dog sleep with us, um..no! Sorry..I love you… but, I will not sleep with dogs….been there, done that! lololol

First of all, no one is perfect. so this ques. is not relavent.

I would not be with someone who tried to control me like that…not worth it.

@Trillian No, I still have a year and a half here actually, so I’ll just enjoy it while I’m here.

@slick44 It’s a hypothetical—anything is possible!

@Ponderer983 What if it were a random outsider imposing these conditions on the relationship rather than the man/woman?

@davids what do you mean by a randon outsider? Like a family member trying to control my relationship? explain pleeeeaaseeee :)

@Ponderer983 Just some complete stranger to you who finds it fun to impose conditions upon people (and has the power to enforce the conditions). So you do not know them personally, nor do they know you.

@Blackberry You say you don’t like hypotheticals, but you seem to be creating one yourself by stating that becasue you are in the military, you have to leave the person you are with.

@davids This is now very convoluted and impractical. No one has that power. And why are they only imposing these things in THIS relationship…wouldn’t they do it to every relationship I would be in?

@Ponderer983 That’s why it’s a hypothetical! Maybe they’re doing this to tempt you, or to test the limits of what they could put you through to get the person you want.

@davids Oh I go thorugh a lot to be with the person I want, but it’s things I can tolerate. But telling me what i can and can’t do is not one of the things I tolerate. Personality flaws and life situations are one thing, controlling someone is another. So no

pass!

Family is everything!

Do we get shades of blue and pink? Or is it just one flat color?
I’d totally do it. As long as the meals included three courses :P Finding my soulmate is going to be a hard job.

I think the question should’ve been: Perfect Man/Woman but… psycho!

If this perfect person could mutate their body on demand to resemble that of any female of my choosing I would happily go without everything else on the list. It would be like screwing a different person everytime, which is what every sensible man strives to do.

Well, I feel I have found my perfect partner. He is everything I have ever wanted, in every way. I never want to be without him, and I have no interest in going anywhere without him. Obviously I would want to see my parents, but my dad doesn’t want anything to do with me anyway, and my mum would just want me to be happy.

My perfect partner won’t restrict my actions like I was her property.

If that’s the conditions of the relationship, then girly can hit the bricks and take her childish demands with her.

I’m no slave to the vijayjay.

That would be the wrong person for me. In my world, love does not set limits on a partner. Especially the ones that you list. These are the rules of a controlling, manipulative person. Not a self-confident, trusting lover.

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. If she was perfect for me in everyway those conditions would not be apart of it. :-)

No thank you! I need imperfect otherwise you have nothing to fight about.

OK now I have to ask…
Why does everything you write start with “Fact from fiction, truth from diction”?

uh, what if you are already perfect! loll

If these are conditions set by some outside force (like if I’m making a deal with Satan) then I can do all of them.

These conditions would make the person very un matched for me but for the sake of fun, if I met someone soooo outstanding in all other imaginable ways then I could do all of these except for the limited choice in meals. I don’t eat a lot but I love food like a foodie and have to taste everything I can.