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KChaXzor007's avatar

Where do I turn when I have no idea what I want to do with my life?

Asked by KChaXzor007 (4points) April 21st, 2010

I’m a 21 year old female college student. I have been taking college courses for about 3 years now, just your basic general courses as well as some stuff that interests me. Well, I’m coming up on finishing my standard Associate of Arts degree, which basically just says that I have a well rounded college experience. Now, it’s time to pick a major. This is where I run into a problem, there isn’t really anything that I wanna be/really enjoy on a level that would drive me to want to dedicate the time to getting a degree in. Now, I don’t see not continuing with school as an option. I’m an adult, with a signifigant other who is weeks from having a degree in his hand and already has a steady, well paying job. I feel with the way our society is today, not getting a degree isn’t that great of an option. I’m stuck, there are things I like, but nothing I love. As soon as I make a decision, I go into panic mode and start to realize all the reasons why it is the wrong major for me.

I could really use some help/advice. Has anyone else delt with this problem, and if so, how the hell did you get through it?

Thanks.

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15 Answers

syz's avatar

Do you have a mentor, a family member, or someone that you truly respect? I’d find someone like that and have a long, serious discussion about what you want out of your life.

charliecompany34's avatar

figure out what your strengths are. sometimes finding that is not so easy.

as much as i loved to cook back in the early 1980s, a man cooking food just was not so trendy. so i followed my love of writing and got my degree in journalism. i still write to this day, but i cook with fervent passion.

now you can go to the food network and see my soul in those who followed their cooking passion and making big money for it.

follow your first mind and your heart. no matter how stupid it seems, be a visionary and cut your own path.

Trillian's avatar

Peace Corps. Focus on others for a year or so.

janbb's avatar

Or if you can find a college counselor that’s worth anything. Sometimes the school will have a career counseling office that may be helpful. They may offer aptitude testing.

SeventhSense's avatar

My bedroom. I’ll explain everything later.

talljasperman's avatar

look into other classes… like science and trades…or take a year off and work… You will quickly learn what you do or don’t want.

slick44's avatar

You turn to fluther, you cant go wrong here! lol

kevbo's avatar

There seem to be a couple of components to your problem:

1. There’s nothing you like enough to get a degree in.
2. You feel you “should” get a degree.
3. You don’t want to narrow your options.

While you are as undecided as you are, I recommend not pursuing a degree. You’re not exactly wasting your money if you do in your current state, but getting a degree for the sake of having it in the short term is probably not going to benefit you all that much, unless you are particularly good at holding your nose and following a degree and career path. It’s fine if you disagree with this, but think about why you disagree and why getting a degree with no sense of what to do with it is better than waiting until you have a “why” for getting your degree.

I can understand the “there’s nothing I like enough” feeling, because it’s one I’ve frequently had. If that is the case, maybe get broader with your point of view. Are there families of things that you prefer over other families of things? Do you prefer arts and literature over business and accounting? Do you prefer science over music? If that doesn’t work, try figuring out what other broad preferences you have. Your preferences might even be unrelated to families of subjects—maybe you prefer focusing on details over developing broad ideas. Or interacting with strangers instead of people you know. Maybe being in one place is important. Or traveling.

The fear of narrowing your options might be something psychological that requires some kind of counseling. Or it may be that you don’t know yet what you truly dislike. If you don’t know, then do the opposite of limiting yourself. Try 100 things. Resolve to burn through everything you can think of until you hit on something you like or reach the end of your list. Being young (and being eager and earnest), you should have little trouble finding older people who will be willing to entertain your exploration. All you have to do is say, “I want to try this to see if it is something I like” or “Will you tell me what this is like?” There’s also a test called the Strong Interest Inventory that will match your likes and dislikes of many, many tasks with the likes and dislikes of people who are successful in their respective fields. You can find this test online or via the career counseling office at your school.

Something else that might be happening is that you’ve lost some courageousness about yourself exploring options. Maybe you’re depressed, or you’ve gotten messages from others (direct or indirect) that have caused you to doubt yourself or a passion that you had. (Maybe your passion is weird or unconventional, so it requires more chutzpah than you have.) That could be another issue to deal with, but one thing you might try is think about your teenage years or earlier for times when you “knew” what you wanted to do. In my case, it was wanting during high school to be a clinical psychologist. Almost 20 years later, that affinity still rings true, and I’m sometimes bummed now that I didn’t stick with the general goal, because I still very obviously have an affinity for that type of work, but no related degree (since I ended up going with a different major). Even if I didn’t have a career as a typical clinical psychologist, I would probably still be happy working at something similar (e.g. a licensed counselor or whatever)—so I could have jumped around later in life in that family of work and still been happy.

There is a saying (a Spanish one, I believe): “If you don’t get up and walk, life will drag you along.” It’s 100% true.

The main thing is be diligent, but really give yourself room and permission to try and discard many things. Recognize, too, that your “aha” moment might come from the people you meet as a result (e.g. if you are a barista and meet a customer who does something that you discover you want to do).

A couple of books that might be helpful:

Roadtrip Nation (also a Web site)
Simple Truths

PandoraBoxx's avatar

What sorts of things do you like to do, or are interested in? Think of it in terms of “I like to____” or “I have a talent for____” and not “I want to be___”.

I like to cook, and I have a talent for sewing costumes and creating props, and I am very interested in post-revolutionary war US history. I should probably seek employment with a company that supplies materials to historical re-enactment groups, and I would be very happy if I could do that instead of process manage IT projects.

Cruiser's avatar

Get the sheepskin, keep the job and perhaps get some business management and or marketing classes under your belt. A communications class or two doesn’t hurt either as these disciplines will come in handy in almost any career. Good luck!

evandad's avatar

The magic eight ball

thriftymaid's avatar

Your adviser at school should be able to help you. A business degree is always a good one to get for people in your confused state. Or, try the eight ball like evandad suggested.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

There are some well constructed tests available to academic counsellors that can help you identify where your strongest interests and aptitudes lie. Your university probably makes such services available at little or no cost.

You may be able to narrow down your range of options by taking advantage of such services.

You may discover options that you never even considered. Good luck with your decision process.

SkulpTor's avatar

It’s easy for me to say do what you love the most! Follow your heart and don’t sell out to pressure from having to make a decision you will later regret.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

The OP has not been here since April!

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