Is it bad to be jealous of your sister?

Is she younger or older?

she is younger by 5 years

true

5 years is a lot, especially if you are under 20, how old are you?

Here is the thing, she probably is very jealous of you. You get to do things before her, because you are older, she desires your love and attention, and for you it might be annoying because you see her as a little kid. Plus, you said your interests are different, so I see why you might not want to hang out with her a lot. The truth is if she was some 5 year younger girl who was not your sister, you probably would not spend much time with her or be best friends.

Here’s the thing. Your sister (or any sibling relationship) is the longest relationship you will have in your life (assuming God forbid nothing unusual happens) You will know her longer than you know your parents or your future husband/SO. Having a close relationship with a sibling is an amazing thing. You and she are the only two people who know what it was like to be a child in your family. The crazy things your mom does, funny family quirks. You are the only two who “get” the unique experience of that part of your life. It is an incredible bond that I think you will appreciate in the future.

So, I encourage you to think of her as a special gift, she loves you. For now maybe you do not always get along, or you may not always want to spend time with her, perfectly understandable, but your relationship with her can be very special if you allow it to be. She can be the person who is ALWAYS there for you, and you for her.

It doesn’t sound like you’re jealous. It just sounds like you don’t really like to be around her very much because you’re so different. It’s okay to be different, to disagree, to like different things. You can still respect and love each other. And it’s also okay to be jealous if that’s the case… You’re human. Give yourself a break.

Why on earth are you jealous? thats your little sister.

She loves you.Don’t take that for granted and start treating her better.Maybe ask her to hang out with you sometime :)you might actually have fun
My sister and I are very different,but I love her very much and enjoy her company when we are together.

@JLeslie I’m 16 and she is going to be 11.
yes everything is true what you said. She is very close to me because my parents work 24/7. We hardly see our parents or talk to them only on the phone. She never tells my mom things about her personal life. She all ways ask me. She says I’m so smart and everything and that I am the one with nice clothes and the one with money all the time because I have an after school job. @silverfly I do feel sometimes I don’t want to hand out with her. Maybe because I’m all ways with her I just feel like I don’t want to be with her because my parents are not there. There are times when I get home from work and go to her room and see she listens to me. I all ways call her to ask her if she want anything from the store or anything. And tell her to do her homework. I think I really do care about her. I guess…

@Love_or_Like .. i am sorry, it almost seems you resent her because you are like a parent to her. You say your parents are gone 24/7. you are to young to have that responsibility. i think if your parents were around more and less pressure on you, you would like her better.

@slick44 I think so….... but like what could I do/ I have two other brothers I get along with them very well. Maybe because my brothers are 6 and 4 I don’t really have a problem with. My brother that is 6 and my sister all ways fights. I tell my sister to leave him alone and she gets mad with me. But really I just don’t know what to do? My brother loves to fight and my sister does not do anything about it. I just tell both of them to stop and to do their homework or to read a book. I just really don’t know what to say about it…

@WCierraA Thanks

I don’t have a sister. Wish I did. You are sooo lucky.

@YoH Thanks

@Love_or_Like .. I think you need to let your parents no how you feel. maybe they can make things easier for you. best of luck to you :)

Hey hon. I think I know a little of your situation.

My sister and I are almost 6 years apart. All our lives, I was the kinda dorky one, the one that liked learning and got good grades, and worked hard for them. My sister was more into friends, and clothes, and parties, and boys. She had her first ‘boyfriend’ in kindergarten. I had my first when I was 19. So there you go.

I didn’t have very good parents, and it sort of fell on me to take care of the younger ones (we have a brother who is 2½ years younger than I am). I taught her to read, how to tie her shoes, how to wash her hair properly, all of that. I was her confidant for a while, until she got to high school and it was no longer “cool” to hang out with your big sister.

I love my sister to death, and it really pains me that we don’t get along as well as I’d like, but we are just very, very different people. And there’s nothing wrong with that, I suppose. I hope as we get older we can grow closer together – she’s 18 now, I’m 24. She’s still concerned with her boyfriends and her hair, and I’m still wishing she’d just read a damn book so I’d have something to talk with her about.

I suppose it all comes down to we both spent our lives being so damned stubborn that we never cared enough to learn about each other’s interests.

I suggest you try to find some time with her away from your parents and your brother. Maybe hit a spa and get mani/pedis together, or something. Ask her if she’d be interested in joining you at something you like, if you attend something she likes as well. You might find our you’re closer than you think.

why has my answer been removed by the Fluther moderators? :O thi shas never happened to me:!O

@Thesexier – if it contained a personal attack of any kind, or was deemed spam, offensive, or unhelpful, that could be why

I just got a comment that they deleted it because it had txtspk or something

Yeah, txtspk is another one. We don’t like that stuff, as we think the actual English language works just fine without help.

yeah they did my question like that because it had “txtspk”

@Seek_Kolinahr Thats was nice of you to teach your sibling that. My parents are very good parents but they just work all the time. They all ways there for money and food everything we need but just a little time for us. This summer my mom is taking us to Mexico. She said we (my sister and me) will have to take care of each other. WE love to go to Mexico. That one thing we both like to do. And my mother will be taking care of my brother. Maybe that will be the time we can hang out. But the last time we went she was never with me; she was with my cousins all the time.

@Love_or_Like

The biggest thing is communication. You have to tell her you want to hang out with her. Just something like “Hey, Mina (my pet name for my sister), I was thinking about finding a quiet bit of beach and having a picnic. Wanna be my date?”

@Seek_Kolinahr yeah will I just ask her if she wants to go shopping. Thats what she loves :)

I wouldn’t say it’s bad to jealous but speaking from someone who has years of experience being jealous of others, I find that it really doesn’t accomplish anything. Find something you do well and build on that. :)

Yes it is true about that.. But it’s not really jealously. It’s just that I just have different views from her.

@Love_or_Like Maybe try to remember what you were like when you were 11. And, you said some contradictory things, like you don’t like how she dresses, but that she wants to dress like you. This makes me wonder if you don’t want her to dress like you or copy you?

@JLeslie That made me think a lot. thanks It is It very hard to admit it.

I really know what you are going through here,my sister is younger then me to.She is really pretty and she always gets attention.I love her to bits and she loves me but, i have to say that i am not jelous of her, but i do envey her.

I used to be jealous of my sister, who was extremely attractive and also kept great grades throughout school, as well as being one of the star athletes. She was older than me. Even with all this going for her, she was vulnerable, and I know there were jealous people out there who wished she would fail, or turn ugly one day, even her friends. She never flaunted herself, boasted or showed off. She had a gentle, caring nature. So I overcame my jealousy (and felt ashamed of it) by realizing that yes, she is pretty and talented, and I should just be really proud of her and proud to be her sister, and protect her. We all have good things about ourselves and we have to look at ourselves and not compare ourselves to others, especially our family. Because they are so important to us.

Feelings in and of themselves aren’t bad. It’s the behaviour that springs from your feelings and thoughts that do the damage, so it would be bad if you use those feelings as an excuse to hurt her.

@aprilsimnel: Well put

@Siren This question have been posted 2 years ago. Now I’m not jealous of my sister but I do feel ashamed of myself to be jealous of my own sister. I’m very happy to have her and like you said we cant compare ourselves to others. Because they are family and they are very important to us. I think time made me think different. And i’m glad I have over come my jealously for my sisiter.