What's your favorite metaphor for someone who's "not the sharpest knife in the drawer"?
Asked by
janbb (
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April 23rd, 2010
Over the years my family has enjoyed collecting metaphors or expressions for someone who isn’t too swift. Two of my favorites are: “about two sandwiches short of a picnic” and “about three bricks shy of a load.” Got any others?
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He wasn’t the one who invented blackpowder, he.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
Kind of like a 40 watt bulb.
He’s got a bad case of doofus
The door opens…but the elevator isn’t there…
One taco short of a platter.
Couldn’t find his way out of a paper bag.
Not the brightest crayon in the box.
Not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed.
If his brain was made of dynamite, he couldn’t blow his own head off.
seven beers short of a six-pack
‘bout as sharp as a marble
I’ve got a spoon sharper than you
‘bout as dumb as a stump
well, the light’s are on but I don’t think anyone’s home
I think his hampster’s off the wheel
I’d say I could smell smoke but I don’t think there’s anything up there to burn
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@SuperOMG not nice :(
and – His bread isn’t quite done xD
A dumb ass SuperOMG also works
A few biscuits shy.
Dumber than a box of rocks
As much sense as god gave a donkey.
The clue meter is reading zero.
A few currants short of a fruitcake.
I drank from the fountain of knowledge; you just gargled.
Swimming in the shallow end of the gene pool.
Makes Homer Simpson look like a Noble Prize winner.
Knitting with only one needle.
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as dumb as a bag of hammers
everyone refresh your screen.
Good lord. I had no idea there were so many! I’m just gonna go with sharpest tool in the shed.
Yup, i think we found the missing link.
their elevator doesn’t reach the top floor
He’s not the sharpest light bulb in the drawer.
Wait… oh, maybe that person is me. ~
Dumb as a hair metal band
“A few prawns short of a galaxy” won’t make sense to anyone except a Simpsons fan, but I love that one.
There’s also “a few Bradys short of a bunch”. I think I heard that one from my mom.
This is too much fun…
Of necessity, a pacifist in the battle of wits.
His head is better used as a paperweight.
One sandwich short of a picnic.
Putting his brain on the edge of a razor blade is like putting a pea on a six-lane highway.
One sausage short of a barbie. (Australian)
He has a room-temperature IQ.
He has the spark of an underwater cigarette lighter.
A few peas short of a casserole.
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All he wants for christmas is his missing chromosome.
as dumb as a brick hahhahahhahahah a brick hahahahhahahahaha
He forgot to stand in line the day they were passing out smarts.
Two cups short of a wonderbra.
“The lights are on, but nobodies home.”
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Dumb as a bag of rocks.
I am a big fan of “not the brightest crayon in the box.”
Elevator doesn’t go to the top floor
A donut shy of a dozen
You don’t travel in the fast lane
The attic’s a little dusty
No one’s home
Paddling with one oar
Many jellies short of a fluther.
A toilet and a sink short of a head.
One cerebrum short of a brain.
Hired a ghost writer to help her with the notes on her hand.
Read Einstein’s “Theory of Relativity” to study for a paternity test.
The wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead.
Somewhere, a village is missing it’s idiot. sorry, if that one’s a bit harsh
Batteries not included
Dumb as a post
As thick as three short planks.
As thick as a brick.
My father’s…‘He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the directions were written on the bottom.’
another one he would say is ‘Thick as pig shit.’
Couldn’t plan his way out of a wet paper bag…. is one from NZ I liked.
Not the full shilling
Thick as a gurkhas foreskin.
Not the brightest starfish in the sea.
One sandwich short of a picnic.
My very egotesticle Econ professor from England used to say of his less then favorite pupils that they were “blessed with divine simplicity”! :)
I try and use it as often as I can.
When he was born the doctor slapped his mother.
Chipping the blight braintastic.
Scrubbed of mental integrity.
He’s proof that one should never enter a battle of wits unarmed.
His ship’s not firing on all thrusters.
The tents have all been pitched but the campfire’s gone out.
His point is nicely hidden by his hair.
I’m lurvin’ this. Thanks guys!
His dilithium crystals are cracked.
His warp bubble is in reversed polarity.
I’m not very creative…so I just say like, fuking tard.
One monster short of a nightmare.
as useful as a flashlight with no batteries in the dark.
as useful as a pole dancer in a sweatsuit
Oh, here’s one I remember from folksinger Tom Rush.
“Having him around is like two good men gone.”
Hey @janbb – maybe you’ll get this one without subtitles; my Bubs would say I need him like a loch in kop.
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