Why do people think 'talking about things' will make the situation better?

Because talking about things is what normal people do. You have to talk the stuff out.

I mean that’s what we do here right?

Because talking is all we’ve got. Otherwise we’d just run around, make funny noises, and fling our own poo.

They are right. Talking about it does help, but it needs to be with the right people. Not necessarily the people involved, but people you trust, or in whose judgement you trust

@filmfann is exactly right. A person who browbeats you into doing something you don’t want to do is a non-helpful person,
and talking about their non-helpfulness is the only “talking it out” you should have to do with them. Pfah. Slogans. “Talking it out” indeed. Good question.

Yeah @Captain_Fantasy is right, its human nature to want to share ones problems, to be connected with one another. I get where you’re coming from too though, sometimes you really just don’t want to talk about it

Because your anger is visible and unsettling. It is a natural reaction for people who care about you to want to alleviate your anger as it can be construed to be directed against them, whether it is or not. I’m guessing that your anger is translated into body language, sullen looks and monosyllabic responses.
If you prefer not to talk about your anger, your best bet is to stay away from people until you have it under control. Or, alternately, you can keep acting out your anger towards your friends. Eventually you’ll drive them all away, then you’ll be left in peace.

Sociality is part of being human. Well, part of being a primate. If you need to fend off concern from friends, maybe you are the one with the social problem.

I don’t think he has a problem, sometimes people just need to bide there time and sort things out on their own, sometimes that’s the only way

Friends will see that you’re angry and will try to help because they’re your friends.
Don’t shut them out.

Because things make a lot more sense when you actually stop, collect your thoughts, and coherently put them together. That is to say, talking.
It helps you really realize what’s bothering you, rather than filling your head with “I’m angry, I’m so angry, this makes me so upset, this is bad, rawr”.

And when you talk about it to another person, they’re able to give you their ideas on how to remedy the situation.

Because talking about it often helps people let go of whatever is bothering them. A lot of things that get to us are put into better perspective when they’re verbalized, making them easier to deal with and moved past.

As to why some people keep asking even after you say you don’t want to talk about it, some are just trying to help, others just can’t take a hint.

Sometimes using someone as a sounding board can help reduce the anger. But, I think the most important conversation is with the person you are actually angry with, that I agree, and if you don’t want to discuss it with others that is fine, as long as the reason is not that you are ashamed of your own reaction to the event, or have a pattern of keeping everything in and walking around with a big grudge and sour pus. If it is behavior to actually get more attention it doesn’t sound good to me. I guess it would depend on how often you act like that for me to think it is a problem or not. Also, it would depend on how old you are too. If you are a teen I would worry more about what is really going on in your head.

It really does help when you talk about it. This is coming from someone who used to hate talking about it. I would avoid talking about how I felt in a hundred different ways. My problem was just that I didn’t have anyone I really felt that I could talk about it with. Someone who would pass judgement as I’m talking, someone who would listen as well as give objective feedback. Find someone you’re comfortable with and seriously.. just talk.

As a cynic, I think it’s because they want to know what is going wrong with your life in order to feel better about theirs.

Because it temporarily relieves inner pressure.
However talking indiscreetly to the wrong people can sour your relationships with them.
If possible keep your beef with the person you are angry at, or a shrink.

Many people are just nosey and others are genuinely offering to help lighten your load. A burden shared is half as heavy.
” We don’t accomplish anything in this world alone… and whatever happens is the result of the whole tapestry of one’s life and all the weavings of individual threads from one to another that creates something.”

Angry people are no fun to be around. If you are going to be angry and hang around people and then not want to talk about it…I would view that as being selfish. If you are going to sulk and not want to talk about it, perhaps it would be best to be somewhere else until you resolve your anger issue than to be a Debbie Downer around friends.

@Silhouette but is it really half as heavy? Once the confidante leaves there you are with your same problem and a little battery acid has spilled out onto another person.

Because it usually does make you feel better, instead of bottling it up, to at least tell someone.

@anartist If you share your burden without expecting the other person to carry it for you there isn’t much in the way of spillage. But you just might get a different perspective and or a solution which had evaded you. There are ways to share your burden without becoming a burden, take this kind of forum for example. You ask others for answers they provided them but they are under no obligation to carry your load. It’s volunteer work