How to get over the fear of public speaking?

When I did speech and debate in highschool, I use to look over the audiences heads. It took me a while until I had it to a point where I was comfortable with all the people staring at me while I made my speech. I use to practice with all my stuffed animals. The one thing I found out while doing that, is just to barely look over their heads, look at somebody who stands out, and have a friend or family member there for you to look for, so it looks like you making eye contact with everybody in the room.
Make sure you practice, and practice and mark on your speech where you are going to take a breath. It make it easier to read, and easier for others to understand what you are saying.

I took a short class in Presentation Skills at work. The instructor began by asking us to rate our fear of public speaking on a scale of fear and told us that many people place it right near the top. I sure did. There are few things I dread more than looking (feeling) like an idiot in public and under the glare of lights.

The training included a basic formula (tell them what you’re going to tell them, tell them, and tell them what you told them) and a system for making eye contact. The instructor videotaped us and mercilessly pointed out our bad habits: saying “um,” fooling with our hair, pushing our glasses up, making empty gestures, etc. She rehearsed us. At the end we were all better, even the guys I knew were worse than I was in the first place. (Thank goodness for people who are worse than we are.)

The main thing that helped me (after that) was doing readings at open mike events for the writers’ club. I gained practice in a hospitable setting before a small audience. Now I can face a group of—oh, sixty, at least!—with a minimum of terror. Terror, yes, but a minimum of it. Minimum = good.

I think the main thing to remember is that nobody is paying as much attention to you as you are to yourself. Look at the others when they speak. Nobody is paying more attention to you than anyone is paying to them. And they didn’t die. Neither will you.

Visuals. That’s what helps me. I’ll have something to keep myself focused and keep my mind on my presentation. It’s a matter or keeping an eye on your audience, as well.

thank you for those of you who responded. i will keep that advice in mind while im up there presenting tomorrow. I hope all goes well!

good luck!

I might add that people typically compliment and praise me after I speak. I have never been able to figure out why, other than their basic kindness. I always think I babble and stammer and stumble, but they say I sound smooth and practiced and fluent. I can’t account for this gross difference of perception, other than to think that audiences are much more forgiving—much more forgiving—than I am of myself. Perhaps that may be of some comfort to you.

I took a class in college and it was definitely one of the most helpful. I found that learning how to write a really good effective speech had a lot to do with confidence to present it.

I used to get nervous about this when I was very young, but I managed to learn how to do effective presentations over time. Here are the most important things to do (IMHO):

1) Practice your presentation several times (in full) in front of a friend. Treat this like the real thing and get feedback from your friend. Which parts were unclear? Were you talking too fast?

2) Hold something weighty when you talk, like a clipboard. This will hide shaking hands and stop you doing silly things with them while you talk. Warning: don’t hold paper notes when you talk. Paper is too light and will actually draw attention to shaking hands!

3) Prepare less content for the time slot you have. If you have to present for 30 mins, prepare 15 to 20 minutes of content. Most people try and cram way too much information into a short space of time. This forces them to talk at the speed of light, which is bad, very bad. This also give you time to answer questions at the end of your presentation

4) Don’t use PowerPoint slides to prompt you! Memorise the key points of your talk, or use small index cards with the key points written down on them. Don’t write out your talk in full, you’ll sound like a robot if you do this!

HTH

I used to be petrified to get up in front of a group, but found that practice helps. It’s also helpful to read aloud to learn how to use your voice. If you have little kids you can read to, use them and use children’s books to practice inflection and modulation. It really helps you speak more clearly.

Also, slow down the speed at which you are speaking. What feels like abnormally slow when speaking, actually sounds normal to the listener. Speaking slower helps you keep control over what’s coming out of your mouth.

When I have to speak at work, I usually make an opening remark that establishes a link with the audience, and tees up the subject, and why it’s important to the listener. If you think to yourself, “I have something important to tell you” it helps with the sense of command, as opposed to thinking “these people don’t want to hear this.”

Practice in front of a mirror would be my other suggestion.

Last night I got up and told a 7 minute story at a storyteller’s show. I haven’t been on any stage in about 3 years, and that last time, I did a long-form improv scene where I had a bit of an onstage panic attack and totally blew it to the point that the teacher of my advanced class had stern words with me after the show. So I’m personally proud that I got up there last night and spoke my little piece, regardless of outcome.

Sure, I forgot some things, I felt my pacing was off and I thought I didn’t look enough at the audience, but afterward people told me how much they enjoyed my tale and how much stage presence I have. Though I’m still a little on the fence about how I did, I am gratified that people enjoyed themselves. And some of those who complimented me are performers as well, which meant a lot.

It’s hard to go in front of more than 5 people and think your every move is being scrutinized, but rest assured, your audience is unlikely to be Addison Dewitt. I’m co-signing with @Jeruba and @PandoraBoxx.

And breathe. Remember to breathe, before, during and after.

I used to debate in high school, and I remember being terrified my first few times. The very first time I spoke, I couldn’t stop at all was my right knee shaking, I remember feeling like my leg was spasming. But afterward when I mentioned it to my friends, nobody noticed it. And it wasn’t out of politeness, my friends never miss an opportunity to make fun of each other :) So chances are if you feel like you are falling apart, it probably isn’t that bad. That being said, I agree with @martyjacobs, don’t hold light paper. Heavier stock paper, or paper pasted onto construction paper is okay, but you really can’t hide shaking paper because it’s loud.

To stay in one piece I would think of it as a conversation. I’m assuming that you are quite capable of talking to friends/family about things. Even explaining new concepts, persuading an issue, and all the sorts of ‘speeches’ you give in class. It’s seems corny to say, but imagine that the entire audience is just in an everyday conversation with you and you mentioned your topic X. They all said in unison “Hmm, I’ve never really thought about X, but that’s interesting. Tell me what you mean.” And then explain away, to your willing audience…they want to hear what you want to tell them.

As for remembering where to go next, make sure to really focus on your transitions in your speech. If your transitions are weak, it will feel more like you are jumping randomly from point to point, and it’s harder to remember which one was next. If you work hard at setting up a new point and leading directly into it, it becomes much easier to follow the flow of your argument. When it comes time to give the speech, I would immediately beforehand (2–3 minutes prior to) review in your mind the transitions between each topic so you have at least those down. Forgetting a quote, or skipping one detail is minor league, but stopping dead in your tracks as you try to recall the next point is more noticable. Good luck, and hope this helps!!

pretend the audience is in their underwear!

I have always had this problem and in the last 10 years started teaching adult ed literature classes. I am always terribly nervous before each class, even though continued success has proven(?) that I will be able to do it. My students tell me what a relaxed atmosphere I create in the class. I find that having my lecture written out and highlighted helps a lot; I will usually depart from it and speak extemporaneously, but I know that if I freeze, I can go back to reading it. Deep, slow brreathing on the way in to class helps somewhat. Also, if I see that someone in the class is nodding and smiling at what I say, I will look at them frequently and take comfort in their reaction. It isn’t easy, but it has gotten better. I have read that public speaking is equal to the fear of death for many people! Good luck.

I got over all fear of public speaking by performing in my high school musical. Seriously. If you can wear a costume, say your lines, sing, and dance in front of hundreds of people, you’ll never be uptight about speaking in front of a group again. If you have the time, check out any community theater groups in your area and try out for a part.

Classes help a little. Most important is doing it again and again and again. The fear will disappear over time, sometimes only very slowly.

Try toastmasters. Practice and feedback.
@aprilsimnel, your Avatar bears a striking resemblance to Michael Palin!

Practice, practice, practice. Oh, and consider recording yourself someway.

@Trillian – Aye, it’s Mrs April Simnel of Kipling Road in East London. She knew the Piranha Brothers, don’t you know!