”@liminal – I think what stands in the way for me is the fear of associating with people who can lead me to hell, and the fear that someone I love could go to hell for their behavior. I come from the school of thought that if you want someone to change, you cut off relationship until they change. I know I haven’t formed a relationship yet with my son’s brother-in-law, but I want it clearly understood that I don’t condone his behavior. I do this out of love, not out of hatred or anger.
I am hearing a consensus that everyone thinks I’m homophobic and a bigot. This is exactly what I don’t want to encounter with my daughter-in-law.—@Haleth and @Trillian and those with similar answers have given me something to think about. Thank you.”
itscomplicated
“Wait, everybody. I don’t want her to run off. I hope she find guidance here, or somewhere else, but I don’t think chasing her away will help anything. That’s how Christians run people off- by acting like we’re acting here. I’d rather her feel welcome to discuss and maintain a sliver of hope to change than to scare her away and have no chance of ever returning to any idea of openness here, or anywhere else.”- ubersiren
@ubersiren Seriously, great answer!
@itscomplicated
I was raised with a Christian upbringing and never encountered the idea of cutting someone off until they changed. If someone needed help from the church, they showered that person with love and help, even if it was something they didn’t agree with. A specific example I can think of is a couple who went through a divorce. Many members of my church weren’t thrilled about it, but led prayers for them, babysat the children, and made meals for them, and stopped by just to see if everything was ok.
The message of many of the sermons was basically to be kind and love thy neighbor- both because this is a good thing to do, and because you can set a great example of what it is to be a Christian, and by doing that, lead others to God, as well.
If you think that associating with someone can lead you to hell, here’s the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector.
Luke 18:9–14
[9] To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: [10] “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. [11] The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. [12] I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
[13] “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
[14] “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
@itscomplicated I’m so glad that we’ve given you something to think about, and I sincerely hope that you can include this young man in your life.