Have you ever felt that you've chosen the wrong partner?
Okay, I think about strange things sometimes—> hearing about when people say that they’ve chosen the wrong wife, or husband, makes me sad.
Well, maybe you have chose the wrong one, what did you do?..
Have thoughts such as these ever crossed your mind, or even continuously lingered there? Where you wish you had chosen someone better, or that you have chosen the wrong person? When did that feeling come to you? Had the person changed, or did you just realize they weren’t that great?... Did that feeling ever go away?...
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17 Answers
People change, and it is unrealistic to fall for the one of the biggest lies of all time, that a relationship is supposed to last ‘forever.’
A few do, most do not.
Relationships are not there to make you happy, they are there to enhance your growth, whether they are happy or not.
The ‘forever’ thing is a myth and has caused countless suffering.
So many people clinging to marriages and other relationships that have run their course a long time ago and the parties remain, out of a sense of obligation, fear of change, inertia.
If more people woke up to this fact and accepted it there would be a whole lot less misery in relationship land.
I am happily married and finally have the right wife.
Of course, I was married three times before.
#1 cheated
#2 abused and neglected the kids and then changed her sexual orientation
#3 abused her kids and mine and then left the country.
Any questions?
Relationships are as flexible as the participants allow them to be.
Coloma you sound just a little biased ;)
@FutureMemory
No, not at all. Just a truth. Flexability yes, of course. It’s okay to want a relationship to last forever but it is dysfunctional to expect it.
I’ve always felt that my partners were the right ones for me for that time, but not necessarily for all time. I was with my first husband for 20 years (married for 17). We parted ways mutually and mostly amicably when we were no longer right for each other. I’m now remarried to a man that is perfect for me at this time in my life, but we would not have been good together earlier on.
@Dr_Lawrence
Yes, what changed about YOU so that you finally attracted a good match? lol
Like ‘they’ say, it’s not about finding the right person, it’s about BEING the right person. ;-)
I finally learned not to choose someone I thought I could fix by loving them and helping them enough!
@Coloma A bit cynical. I still love my husband after 28 years. Till today he is still my best friend. The forever thing is not a myth. The only reason it doesn’t work for many is because they already sense they aren’t marrying the right person but refuse to see this person is not for them. Or because they believe in the myth that love is all that is needed to make things work. A real working marriage need real work. Like any relationship. Relationships with your children or brothers or sisters or parents, uncles and aunts require real work and sometimes sacrifices. Many marriages don’t work because people are sometimes too selfish and don’t know how to put someone needs ahead of themselves. Or they married someone else who is too selfish and they have to make all the compromises. A relationship goes both ways and both have to be equally invested.
@Dr_Lawrence
Good job!
@Pandora
Congrats to you!
As I said….some do last forever.
I stand by my sentiments, ‘forever’ is often a myth and not realistic for the majority.
@augustlan
Well said! You did a better job than I.
Yes, I left a 22 yr. marriage 7 years ago. I am very happy and have no regrets, things change, and I know many people that canonize unremarkable if not downright dysfunctional relationships, attached to a big number that is really only significant to the number of years they have been in denial. lolol
Even in difficult times I can honestly say that I have never thought that my partner was the wrong one for me.
I have the most perfect partner and I love him to bits. He might think it about me, maybe, but I’d never ever think it about him.
Yup, once. Friends had an acquaintance who spoke of their interest in me and got them to introduce him to me. I disliked him immediately but they all went on and on about how I should give him a chance because he had so many qualities they knew I liked… if I’d just get past my initial gut feeling.
Well, I did give him a chance and let him court me but he was truly an obsessive and dangerous psychopath who cost me a lot of money and belongings just to get away from. I figure with the job I lost and all, he set me back a good 5 years.
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