Why the heck would you tell a girl she was ugly?

Did somebody do this to you? Want I should go take a baseball bat to his kneecaps?

The answer is in your topics. Boys are jerks and don’t think before they run off at the mouth.

Ummm. Why on earth would you not know that boys are clueless? Didn’t you read your manual? The part where it says that boys don’t know what to say, and are awkward and uncomfortable with their own feelings? They are scared of rejection and may not even believe you really like them so they say stupid stuff.

Or then again, he may really not like you. Whatever made you think that he did?

The guys are convinced girls have some sinister and dangerous lurking power that needs tempering at every turn and some guys, for lack of anything clever, profound or complimentary to say will tease and belittle as a bass ackwards way of paying a girl attention. If any guy ever talks to you like that, look him in the face and say, “uh… ok” and look away or walk away. Best they learn early what behavior merits reward and what is mean and to be avoided. Most girls try to laugh it off or come back with something cruel of their own but that doesn’t teach or get anyone anywhere good.

If he made those comments, drop him immediately. He is a jerk and he will never learn. A five year old should have better manners than that.

How about if it was your friend and he really isn’t stupid enough to get the too clueless to be held responsible card?

@freckles Then he is not really your friend. No friend says that to someone they care about. You do not need that kind of negativity in your life.

You should never let someone elses negative comments affect you every girl is beautiful to someone in her very own way. Be proud of who you are honey =]

because he doesnt have a heart or a soul. of source.

Tell your friend that there’s a difference between opinion and criticism. Ask him the next time he’s got something to say that might possibly hurt your feelings to do it just between the two of you with no one else around that way he’ll think it over a few more times before letting loose his tongue.

Um, guess what? Girls can do this too. Not just boys.
And some boys are just as self-conscious as girls. This is human behavior. Not just boy behavior. The question is, why would any person want to tell someone they are ugly. You can’t point your finger at why only guys would do this.
Some people are just brutally honest and some people are clueless and uncomfortable in certain social situations and this discomfort causes them to say the wrong things at the wrong time. We’re all guilty of it. Others are just fucking mean. Unfortunately, no one here knows why he said what he said. Only he does, so the best thing to do would be to talk to him about it.

@Neizvestnaya It was just between the two of us.Not a public comment

He’s either 12 or has a very short…
Now keep that image in your mind.

@Vunessuh Nah, talking to him is useless at least at this point. Not just for that, but for many mean things he has done, I have given up on mending our friendship or talking to him, until he would like to try as well.

@worriedguy haha

@holden Aw. Haha, thanks, but that won’t be necessary.

@freckles So then I would suggest you stop putting effort into the friendship until he matches this effort you’ve shown him in the past or until he apologizes. However, if this is a constant reoccurring pattern and he continuously fucks up and apologizes, fucks up and apologizes, fucks up and apologizes, then just fire him completely. That means he’ll never learn and he’ll continue to hurt your feelings. It’s really not worth having a friendship like that because those ”sorrys” become meaningless after a while.
Whatever you choose to do, good luck. I hope dealing with him doesn’t become too exhausting or stressful for you. I know how people like that can drain you of your energy. :/

@freckles The offer stands. It would be my pleasure to put the man in his place.

@Vunessuh Yeah, that is exactly what I’m gonna do. Funny thing is though, there is never a sorry. Only a “your taking it the wrong way” or “your nagging” or “I don’t see what your upset about” yeah….

Ah, thanks for letting me vent peeps. Actually helping me see how stinking one sided this friendship has been.

Whaaat. I’m sure that you don’t look weird. Theres no way that people are “supposed” to look. You have ten fingers and ten toes, two eyeballs, etc. Youre human! We all look the same. You don’t assume that you look strange. BE A BOSS. No one can make you feel any way you don’t want to feel. Don’t let some douche have control over this. You’re worth so much more than this <3

He is very mean to you and very thoughtless as well. We can never change anyone else. We can just observe and walk away. I would suggest that and seems you are there too.

Guys are as mislead about beauty as many girls are.

Advertising presents us with images of perfect women.

Guess what? Even those models and actresses don’t look like their promotional pictures.
They are almost as computer generated as Shrek!

Here’s another think most guys and girls don’t know!
The thinks that really make a girl or woman attractive and desirable have so little to do with how she looks.

Immature guys are so insecure, they are afraid to be seen with any girl who their crowd does not perceive as impossibly attractive. At the same time, most guys are scared out of their minds to approach these supposed beauties for fear of not measuring up and being rejected by her.

Many very pretty girls end up lonely until they finally meet someone who is interested in the person inside. I bet that sounds familiar to you.

At some point some guy will discover what the real girl/woman inside you is like and then he will suddenly discover what a beauty you are.

In the meantime, continue to develop the real you. Pursue your interests and be the kind of person that you would be proud to have as a friend.

Not all guys stay jerks for life. Some of them actually grow up into the kind of people others would be pround to have as a friend, boyfriend of husband. Guys tend to be slower at learning such times. That is in no way your fault!

Let the real you shine!

@megan I love the way you put that. I am totally going to write that down and put it somewhere so I can remember it! :D

You’re profile pic is very pretty btw!

Thanks!

@Megan I too applaud your message to @freckles . Allowing others to define who and what you are is painful and self-destructive. There is no reason to give credibility to those self-appointed messengers who decided it was their place to judge her!

I’m curious how old you/he is? This sounds like very juvenile behavior to me.

On the other hand, I could theorize that this guy believes in (or has been convinced in the rightness of) what I would call “asshole theory.” During high school and college lots of guys get convinced that being an asshole is the way to get girls. Usually the idea is to be confident when you first meet a girl and not immediately tell her she is the most beautiful girl in the world, because apparently girls like confident guys (who woulda guessed?). But some guys take it too far.

Note: I’m not a fan of “asshole theory,” I’m just theorizing based on what I’ve seen.

@freckles The wrong type of men are intimidated by strong women. Be a strong woman and you won’t have problems with guys like this ;)

@meagan is right

maybe he think she’s ugly! :P

@ludy he does, obviously. But as I hope other people will learn, it kinda crushes a person to hear someone say that to their face.

Honey, I have a song for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Im6JZ9eVBg

I can only think of one good reason to tell a woman she is ugly. Winstn Churchill illustrated it in this exchange: Lady Braddock accosted him at a party, telling him, “You are drunk Sir Winston, you are disgustingly drunk.”

“Yes, Mrs. Braddock, I am drunk.” Churchill replied. “But you, Mrs. Braddock are ugly, and disgustingly fat. But, tomorrow morning, I, Winston Churchill will be sober.”

@ETpro That is a great old anecdote but it is not so helpful to@freckles. She will be as fine a person tomorrow as she is today.

@Dr_Lawrence I am sure she will, and I am equally hopeful a laugh might even make her a bit better.

@Vunessuh thanks, for pointing that out, i was feeling kinda left out lol am I the only guy on this discussion? But to answer the question there have been cases where I think a girl isn’t attractive, but that was before when I let peoples looks even affect my oppinions. Maybe this guy is trying to distance himself from you by telling you such things, that’s the only thing I can think of…lol @meagan LYKE A BOSS!

The boy who said this was probably socially awkward or just not very sensitive. Sometimes people just say stuff like that.

@WolfFang I’m a girl. :)

I would guess that you had pissed him off in some way. People usually need provocation for that sort of response.

Winston Churchill did it to Lady Astor when she irritated him.

Lady Astor: “Mr Churchill, you are drunk”!

Winston: “Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall wake up sober.”

Churchill was bloody Ugly and he had a hangover in the morning.

@WolfFang I’m a guy. I suppose I haven’t been very comforting on this thread, but I was focusing on answering the question. Sorry, I tend to do that.

Because if you look about a foot up, over his head, there is a big, red, flashing neon sign that says “Inferiority complex!” with big arrows pointing down at him on it.

He’s just trying to distract from his huge sign by projecting it onto you.

most guys do this so they “look cool” to their friends. guys are idiots and have no clue how ignorent and rude they may seem to others. i am so sorry if this happened to you.

That’s just cruel. I would never say anything like that to a girl, or anyone else for that matter. It’s wrong and ungentlemanly. Unfortunately, there are a lot of goofy, mindless, immature boys out there. They have no respect for girls, no conscience. That’s why they’re still “boys”. And some of them never outgrow this lack of conscience and immaturity. Real men are kind and conscious of other people’s feelings. They respect women and other men too, and do not act irresponsibly in public situations.

Some girls get off on it.

Trust me.