If you were homeless and desperate for food, would you care how you got it?

Sounds mean to me. Were you trying to hit him with it?

Yeah, I’d say that was rude. I mean, I guess he’s not one to complain, since he was probably relatively desperate for food… but in my culture at least, it’s rude to throw things at people, even when you mean to give them the items. Throwing money, for instance, is extremely frowned upon. I’d say this was an equivalent action.

Why didn’t you just pull your car over and give it to him?

Uh, yeah. You don’t throw things at people, and if you’re over the age of 4 you shouldn’t need us or your girlfriend to tell you that.

If you genuinely were trying to do something nice, you would have walked or driven up to him and handed him the granola bar with a smile.

When you go through a drive-thru fast food place, do you quickly drive by & they throw the food into your car window?

Were you aiming at his head?

@Likeradar Actually, I was going to ask the age of the OP?

I mean, who does this?

We are assuming here that your intentions were good….but like any interaction, its all in the delivery…..I think it coulda gone better for all concerened.

@jjmah I can only assume he’s over 4. :)

I’ve given money and food to homeless people. I always stop my car and turn it around and go back. I realize this isn’t possible on the bus. Another time, maybe you could attach a nice note, or a fiver.

Good grief!! why ever would you do that? was it a joke? is someone having no food or home funny to you? there but for the grace of god go us all honey, sheesh. You said this was a few years ago, and since you’re thinking about it now, I assume that you feel bad? if so, then congratulations sweetheart, you’re growing up. Do like they teach at sunday school honey, treat others as you’d like to be treated yourself.
hugs xx

Yes it was mean, you could have just pulled over if it was that important to give it to him.

Oh. You weren’t on a bus. Yes. There was no excuse for that. I think that we get too secure in our lives and fail to remember that it can all be taken away in an instant. What you did was badly done.

@jjmah – Old enough to drive…

People just love it when other people throw things at them, especially food.

A coworker once told me he threw eggss at a homeless guy once. The homeless man apparently responded by eating the eggs off the ground.

How awesome it must feel to throw food at homeless people!

I just kicked my elderly neighbour in the nuts when he picked the newspaper from the ground, is that wrong?
Seriously, when you just look at the wording of your question, you don’t know the answer yourself?

I’ll go out on a limb and say most everyone dislikes having unexpected objects flung at them. Was it mean – only if your intention was to be so. On the other hand it was certainly… “ill-thought”. As to your g/f’s comment, I’d like to amend if I may, you shouldn’t throw things at people.

So, @YoKoolAid, what was your point in asking us this?

Did you think it was funny and wanted to see if we’d pat you on the back for being such a funny guy?
Did you really not believe your girlfriend when she said you shouldn’t throw things at people and genuinely want other input?

Yes, it was rude. You shouldn’t throw things at anybody, unless they’re attacking you.

You actually have to ask if it is wrong to throw things at people?

I dont think it was mean, I think you had good intentions.

Yes it was very rude. Whether he was homeless or not, you shouldn’t just randomly throw things at people. And what if he wasn’t homeless?

I think we’ll find the answer in what kind of granola bar you threw. Did you throw a chewy bar? What about this? Now, if you threw one of these you’re probably going to hell. Everyone knows those organic pumpkin flavored pieces of shit taste bad. Even a homeless man wouldn’t eat them. Duh.

A friend of mine actually did something similar a week back, we had just been to McDonalds and he hadn’t finished his cheeseburger so he brought it along. He saw this homeless romanian woman on her knees (they’re everywhere in oslo, many of them criminals).

He threw the burger at her feet knocking over her cup of change while just continuing walking very stiff without looking. She threw it back in his direction almost hitting his head.

Retrospectively, it was horrible. But in the moment I couldn’t help laughing, mostly at the absurdity of his action.

He’s definitely not the kind of person to do that sort of thing.

If i was homeless,and hungry, i wouldn’t care how i got food. I would just be greatfull i had something to eat.

Around Thanksgiving time I throw boxes of frozen Thanksgiving dinners at homeless people from a speeding car. I’m going to Heaven.

Now every time someone asks a question like this or “was it mean to punch my neighbors cat with a corkscrew?” I’m going to think it’s that one user who asked about not the “gay brother in law not being allowed to visit the family because he’s gay” question.

Yes, I suspect a troll.

@Magnus Well, now your friend IS the type of person to throw food at homeless people. He’s officially graduated to the status of “people who do things like that”.

Well since everyone is making me feel like shit, I’d like to confirm that yes my intentions were good and no I did not mean to hit him with it. Delivery – not so good. If i could go back in time I would have pulled over and hand delivered it, but it just wasn’t feasible at the time. The way I see it is the guy got something to eat for free. If I were desperate for food, honestly it wouldn’t offend me if a granola bar was thrown at me (especially if I’m holding up a sign asking for handouts). It was a split second decision, I just thought “hey this guy needs it more than I do” and i took the quickest plan of action and threw it at him. I regret it, could have done it differently, but the guy ate that day.

@YoKoolAid I understand. At least you were thinking of the person.

My mother always said “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

Or was that Oz?

If I were homeless and someone threw a granola bar at me, I would probably pause, pick it up, and eat it while thinking: “Wow, my life is shit.”

A meal is a meal. TY, I enjoyed the Granola bar.

A lot of homeless people are constantly subjected to mockery, ridicule and other assorted forms of rude behaviour, he probably didn’t care much, even if it wasn’t your intention to be mean.

On the other hand, many of them will indeed retain their pride, and they are human, so I can understand that some would be offended or hurt, especially in a society where we actually begin to question the value of a man once he’s got fuck all.
What I find disturbing is not throwing shit at people, but instead wondering if it was proper or not just because the dude was homeless.

Although in my situation, I’m not homeless but I’m dirt poor, if you took a shit on a slice of pizza and gave it to me, I’d probably eat it anyway.
Instinct is very strong, and probably sharpened when you have no choice but to solely rely on it, as is often the case for the homeless. I’d take off the poop first, but I’d still eat it.

@Symbeline Do you know about dumpster diving in the alleys behind good restaurants? Often times, the clean-up staff will make little packages of half-eaten dinners and place them carefully in the dumpster for those who need to to eat with a little more dignity.

@wundayatta I’m familiar with this, I used to go dump diving years ago, the dudes at Subway always wrapped up leftover sandwiches and stuck em behind the dumpster for people to take. We used to call it the ’‘seven oclock sub run’’ lol. Pretty handy though, ecxept now nobody’s gonna wanna be near me anymore. XD

Honestly, was the question changed? I don’t remember it looking like this, but to answer not only the question but the implication behind the question, I once again turn to a man whose words ring out with truth and beauty as much today as when he wrote them a hundred years ago; ”...And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?
See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.
For in truth it is life that gives unto life while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.”

@Trillian Yes, the question was changed which now makes my answer look stupid. The question was Am I mean to throw a candy bar at a homeless person or very close to that. I really hate when they change the questions.

Yeah, it was changed, and yeah, my answer looks stupid now too. Might have done to begin with, but…

Q: If you were homeless and desperate for food, would you care how you got it?
A: I just kicked my elderly neighbour in the nuts when he picked the newspaper from the ground, is that wrong?
Seriously, when you just look at the wording of your question, you don’t know the answer yourself?

Makes no sense anymore.

@rebbel If it makes you feel better, I got a good laugh at your answer when it matched the original question.

@chyna
<< Feels a bit better!

Yes the question was changed, the mod team required an edit. The original question was: Was it mean to throw my granola bar at the homeless guy. Edited for being too much of a simple poll….which it kind of is because I feel bad about what I did and those who answered seem to be split about 80/20. 80% saying: “what an asshole, why would you do that?” and 20% saying: ” you had good intentions, poorly executed but at least he got some food”.

I would agree with you 80ers if he didn’t have a sign, but he was asking for handouts. Yes… in a perfect world I would have pulled over, handed him the granola bar with a smile and everyone lives happily ever after, but the world isn’t perfect. What I’m getting from you 80ers is I should have done nothing. If pulling over was not an option, tossing it to him is worse than ignoring him. I should have ignored him like the thousands of other motorists do to him every day.

yep the question has been changed honeys, and I sent a PM to apologise for my answer as I got a message saying i’d upset YoKoolAid, so once again @YoKoolAid I’m sorry I misunderstood, i really am, i just was (as I said to you in my PM) quite upset by my reading of your original question is all.

edit: @YoKoolAid been reading through some of the other replies and it seems lots of us thought the same thing, no one here deliberately tries to hurt anyone, honestly, its a cool place with lots of very kind, friendly people, who are all probubly now, like me, wishing they could just delete their replies.
hugs xx

@bunnygrl I can’t imagine why your answer would upset anyone. It was in no way mean. If anything you gave the OP credit for having thought about it later and having regrets. I hope the OP takes this and follows through with thoughts about what that homeless person thought. I also hope the OP thinks about what Kahlil Gibran said about giving in my previous response.

@Trillian <hugs> thank you honey, it really upset me that I’d hurt the OP, i wouldn’t do that on purpose, and I loved your quote
love and hugs xx

@YoKoolAid Don’t feel bad. You meant well, you did well.

@chyna thinks I’m an asshole

@likeradar thinks I’m a douchebag

and @jimah and @Trillian and @rebbel think I’m scum of the earth.

For what? Trying to help a homeless man? The execution of my deed was not the best…agreed. But apparently ignoring the homeless man would be better than tossing him some food.

(@bunnygrl, @blackberry, and @lloydbird thank you.)

Oh honestly. If you just wanted pats on the back you should have called your mother. You asked for opinions, we gave ours to you. Nobody called you any names.

@YoKoolAid Your original question clearly had a different tone than your edited one. Your first question made you sound like a douchebag. Nice try, trying to turn it around after your question was modded.
If you were so convinced you did a nice thing, you wouldn’t have asked.

@YoKoolAid
Scum of the earth?
No.
A bit tactless?
Yes.
With good intentions?
I now know you were. It wasn’t clear to me from how you worded your question in the first instance, though.

@Likeradar agreed…. my first question was quickly drafted and inaccurate.. For that I apologise.

I tried finding ways to get to the real answer I wanted….was that guy pissed that I threw a granola bar at him? The true answer I will never know but from what I gather from your responses…yes. Most of you implied that even if you were hungry, desperate and begging for food someone throwing a granola bar at you would be insulting.

@YoKoolAid And as I said in my response with Kahlil Gibran, it’s about the implication behind the question. That being; you are in such bad shape that you just have to take what you can get however you can get it and be grateful. Go back and read the quote and tell me if you do not agree.

Treating people with respect and dignity isn’t supposed to have exceptions because a person falls on hard times. Behavior like this from a poorly raised elementary school age kid would be called rude with the expectation of being modified as the kid matured and learned better from somewhere. From an adult though, it’s not just rude, it’s an exception and is no longer rude, it’s an asshole move. For sure.;

Thoughtful.

@YoKoolAid If I thought you were an asshole I would have called you one.
We will never know your intentions as we weren’t there and time has a way of softening asshole things we have done. Did you throw it at him and laugh? Or did you toss it towards him and say “here ya go buddy”? I don’t really need your answer, just pointing out how the outcome can be perceived differently.

@chyna As I stated earlier, I thought: “hey this guy needs it more than I do” and I tossed it to him. This was the wrong thing to do as I was unable to pull over and hand deliver it to him. Next time I will ignore and keep on driving.

I have thrown peanuts to the animals at the zoo, but I have never thrown food at another person. It is sad enough that the man is hungry, and most likely feels a failure, so I don’t think it is a good idea to add insult to injury. When we do things in life, whether it is through words or actions, “it’s the delivery that counts”

@Symbeline I wasn’t quite sure I understood your reference to people not wanting to be near you. Is that because you are poor? Or would eat shit-contaminated food?

In any case it reminded me that a lot of people don’t want to be near homeless people. They often smell and look very grubby and somewhat dangerous.

The homeless, for me, became a symbol of how awful I felt when I was depressed. I felt so bad, I thought I should be homeless. Maybe even dead. If I ever do become homeless it will be because I am punishing myself for some reason. Or maybe because I become manic and give away everything.

But it’s funny. I now look for a piece of myself in every homeless person I see. I feel like I understand homelessness better. I don’t know if this is true, though. Maybe it’s just some kind of conceit I have. I don’t want to be homeless (at the moment). I don’t want to spend my time trying to help them. But I do want them to be supported to get out of their situations if that is what they way. And if not, and I believe there are a few who don’t want to be anywhere else —people for who an illness is the preferred state—then I have changed my policy and am much more likely to give out money.

If they want to spend it on drugs or alcohol, it not longer bothers me because I now understand the pain that leads to that form of medication. I would not want anyone to have to suffer that pain without something to ease it, even if it is a dysfunctional med.