Is it okay to stay friends with someone you have a crush on but you're taken?

I agree. It is not normal to feel this way. Why doesn’t she just break up with the boyfriend? She really isn’t being fair to him.

Shit Biology happens. This is not the only time this will happen.

She needs to make a decision. If she continues to see her friend, there’s a good chance that she’ll end up cheating on her boyfriend. I think that if she wants to continue this friendship and let it take its course, she should break up with the boyfriend. If she loves the boyfriend enough to not want to break it off then she needs to stay away from the other guy to avoid hurting the boyfriend. It sounds like a tough decision but it needs to be done.

Eh she said she won’t ever cheat and that this is just a crush and it’ll pass.

It is part of the natural selection process. Getting to know this co-worker/friend is one of the steps that can be used to test whether the current BF is actually the right person for her. She may find out that he may or may not be the one, but she wouldn’t know without a point of comparison from other people. She has the right to determine who she thinks would be best for her.

i believe your advice is great. yes she can still talk to him, but try and limit her contact and she should not flirt or hang with him that much. she should flip the situation. how would she feel if her boyfriend was starting to like a girl that he worked with.

If she cannot control herself, she should probably stay away, or break up. One or the other.

If she can behave like a responsible adult who happens to have hormones and eyes, she should be fine.

She should not be hanging out with this guy. It will likely lead to trouble in her relationship. If she has feelings for the guy, hanging out with him is cheating in a way. She is devoting thought and energy that should be going to her boyfriend to this other guy.

It’s not like she is married. This is just a boyfriend. If she is having feelings for another guy, it must be telling her she is not ready for a commitment to anyone and she needs to break it off with the boyfriend. Then continue to find the person she can stay loyal to.
If she was already married and this was happening, she would have to put things in proper perspective and review her priorities.

There is no reason she can’t have feelings for a friend, provided she is capable of managing them given her current relationship and she must consider the feelings of her boyfriend as well. So long as she is open and honest with both (as well as herself) and honors the trust and friendship placed with her, she’ll be fine regardless of where the path leads.

I would tell her the same thing I tell my boys when they want to go down the toy aisle at Target: Why torture yourself? If she wants this guy she should break up with her man and go for it – in that order.

LoL good analogy

If she can control her actions then she is fine, but if she feels she is hanging right at the line, she should make a decision about which side of the line she wants to be on.

She can’t control her feelings, but she can control her behavior. She is not making a good decision by hanging out with him.

I took the way she said “she started developing feelings for this guy” mean they are more than just friends. She is not ready for a committed relationship yet. She needs to be out in the field a little longer. What is the rush anyway? She needs to be honest with herself, and then she can be honest with the gentlemen involved. @chelle21689 how old is your friend?

21

She is still young. She needs to become uncommitted and just get to know people.

It depends what her attitude is to this crush. Does she believe it’s something she’ll eventually get over? Then she can stay friends. But does she think it’s a serious crush? Does she sometimes wish she wasn’t in a committed relationship and could pursue her feelings? Is she trying to pursue her feelings and maybe consciously trying to flirt with the guy? Then she has to decide to distance herself from the friend or break up with her boyfriend.

I am curious to know why she doesn’t want to end her current relationship…because she believes in it more? Or because she’s accustomed to it?

If she values her relationship with her current boyfriend, then she should exercise integrity and keep herself very distanced from this other guy. A good relationship is built on trust, and that trust will be torn down if she isn’t keeping herself at a safe distance from whoever her co-worker is.
On the other hand, she may not be ready for commitment and should just end the relationship with her boyfriend if things are getting out of hand.