What do you do when people refuse to accept your way of life?

To each their own. Some people just don’t understand that.

Kick em in the balls.

I suppose I am fortunate in that I don’t remember anyone criticising my lifestyle.
If it ever happened to me, then I would suggest they try my lifestyle, and perhaps they would then think twice before forcing their views on me.

Accept their non-acceptance.

It drives ‘em nuts.

Gee whiz! Life is too short to worry about what other people think of my lifestyle or worry about theirs!

I can’t answer for the myriad of people who feel the way they do. Once, years ago, I was wearing a crystal around my neck on a chain. A woman approached me with her husband and as we spoke she asked me if I “believed” in this stuff. Rather than try to engage her in an intelligent conversation for which I could see she was ill equipped, I just said “yes” and went back to what I was saying to the husband. She actually reached out and touched the crystal, which I find very offensive. (Uninvited physical contact is very bad in my book.) She said “I’ve found something better.” Again, I refrained from anything other than simply looking at her for a measured time, then returned to the conversation again. Apparently I scared her, or so her husband told me later. Boo hoo, she deserved it.
My point is, I can’t imagine why a person would say such a thing. How would she know anything were better if she had only tried one thing?
Who can say what is going on in the mind of another? The way I see it, you have a couple of options:
1. Engage the person and find out what they are thinking. you may even find yourself in a dialogue from which you can carry away something useful. One of Stephen Covey’s rules for living an exceptional life is; seek first to understand.
2. Ignore the person and go on about your day.
It’s a judgment call and it’s up to you to decide whether the individual is worth speaking with or not.

Listen, if I knew I’d be happier. Every time they ask about my food habits or religious beliefs or ideas about marriage,etc..they later respond as if my answers are about their lives.

I sleep in until the person moves away…I live in a seasonal town

I used to freak out and second guess myself. Constantly. Somehow, I thought other people knew what was best for me, because obviously, I couldn’t be trusted to do the right thing for myself. And by “doing the right thing,” that meant obeying anyone who presented themselves to me as authority who had a need they wanted me to meet, regardless of my feelings or needs. People like that look for weaklings and children.

OMG, I need to stop watching Monty Python! Black people aren’t supposed to watch that! OMG, I have to be a Christian! My family thinks I’m bad if I don’t believe in the sky daddy! OMG, I must be a schoolteacher! People are telling me I’m too smart to be a performer/writer/producer/director! I must sacrifice what I want to do and be a teacher for the children! o_O

I’m learning to shrug my shoulders at other people’s “shoulds” and keep on truckin’. Seriously, are they going to be on my deathbed with me, telling me how to die? :P

@aprilsimnel Great answer, thanks.

I think some people do it as they genuinely believe they can improve your life…. if only you did everything just like them. However, I think most people just do it without thinking. Most people just let their mouth flap even when they have nothing to say….. consequently alot of bollocks comes out!

It’s usually an insecurity thing.
Really insecure people feel their identity is threatened by any, even relatively small disagreement or difference.

I just had a long conversation with a female friend last night who is just a few months out of yet another LTR and doing what shes always done, desperate to find a new man again.

She cannot fathom that I am happily single, not feeling any huge pull for a romantic relationship, and seems to feel a need to argue how in her opinion people that choose to not be in relationship must be somehow pahtological. haha

She truly cannot fathom that I am happily and consciously single, because she is so needy of male attention and validation.

My lifestyle somehow triggers her fears and when I comment on MY choices/preferences it always morphs into her defending hers. lol

She is tremendously uncomfortable with the idea of being alone and has never gone more that a few months between relationships since she was a teenager.

My happiness and peace is a completely foreign concept to her so she feels threatend by my independent lifestyle. I am aware of this so don’t take offense at her anxious defense of her neurotic need to be coupled. lol

This is what I tell them.

I poke them with a stick until they see things my way;)

Other people sometimes think they know what’s best for us of course, Mum still thinks I’d be happier in a relationship (I think this is what she thinks) as she occasionally brings the subject up… like that old chestnut again!! And she thinks I’d be better on anti-depressants too…

And even though I feel happy on my own I do think maybe she is right… maybe I am denying myself something which would make me happy. Which makes me question myself over and over and over again and breeds a belief system inside me that I am ultimately wrong because I am willing to constantly question if my way is right….where as they are firm in what they believe…

It sucks. But what to do huh? urrrm….

Perhaps a bit more soul searching for me… try to discover whether i authentically, me, Lynne B want to be

If you already know….. chuckle humbly at their ignorance

“when people refuse to accept your way of life”

Not for them to accept. Only for you to accept… Your way of life.

give them a good ass whipping!

naw, seriously…everyone has to paddle their own boat!

Live your life anyway.

I either change for the better or move on with life.

It’s your life, who cares what they think about it. Just do what you do and dont think twice about what someone has to say.

Who cares what some chump thinks? I’m not going to change, or waste my time trying to make him/her change.

I don’t have many people ciriticizing my choices or tellling me how to run my life. I think if you are someone who often expresses unhappiness or pain at your life choices, friends and others may indeed make suggestions about the ways in which your choices may be hurting you. If that is the case, it might be worth looking at some of the suggestions and deciding if you want to act on any of them.

Fuck ‘em – well not literally – but in essence, Fuck ‘em

@Ponderer983 I try, not literally, but I try.

I usually just ignore that person’s opinion of me, I am myself and am happy being myself. If someone else doesn’t like it, that isn’t my problem and shouldn’t have to change for anyone. I accept people for who they are and just expect the same from them.

If they point out a logical inconsistency in your life and you really have no explanation for it (even to yourself), then their non-acceptance may actually be of a help. It may be divine guidance, so listen to them and change. Some people are stubborn about their own decisions in life to the point of actually fearing changing their minds or listening to others’ valid points. Not saying this is going on with you though

But in most situations, including what sounds like what you are talking about in your question, nonacceptance is just due to the nonacceptor’s own fears or bigotries.

In which case you can just listen to them once. And immediately write-off the importance of that person, in your mind. Never display anger. Either pokerface or smile.

And then take the Kung Fu/Zen route of accepting their nonacceptance, as advised by @CyanoticWasp , or take the route of saying a single smarmy statement (such as “there are no shoulds in life on this type of subject”) and then done with them. No time for further talk with them after that, because you owe them no explanations. You owe yourself explanations though, on everything you do in life.

be yourself.

my my my pokerface

Ignore them and continue living my life!

Plenty of people have the attitude ”You should be like me.” You don’t have to pay attention to them. If you let all their assumptions, attitudes, and worries become yours, you are being like them.

As @janbb says, though, a person who complains a lot and constantly asks for guidance is inviting people to suggest changes. If that person is giving off contradictory messages (such as “tell me what to do, but I’m only going to do it my way”), he or she does have to think some things through. I don’t know if this applies to you; just something to think about.

Fuck em. Even if they don’t acept it, it’s not like they can do anything about it, and such as it stands, I have nothing to prove to a damn soul.

Why would I do anything? They don’t live my life, I do. I have very little interest in what other people think about my life, unless they want to help me clean the living room.

I think it depends on where its coming from. If its real concern than I wouldn’t be offended. Haven’t you ever met someone who says they are happy the way they are but you and everyone else can tell they are far from happy and perhaps depressed? People often say to family members things they want to hear to get them away.
And sometimes you just know when someone is just taking the easy road instead of challenging themselves because they don’t believe in themselves.
These are things that have to be challenged if you are truly someones friend or loving relative. Sure they aren’t always right but if their heart is in the right place than I see no harm.
Just so you know. You don’t have to agree or think like me. :D Most don’t.

@Pandora I like your different point of view. You have given me an interesting perspective.

I don’t care. Is it their life? Nope!

I think there may be more to this question than meets the eye. Forgive me if I’m wrong, @Sophief, but is this in response to the people of Fluther urging you to get help to stop your self-harming behavior (cutting), about which you said “I’m happy with this way of life.”? If so, it’s because that ‘way of life’ harms you. We care. There are much better coping skills out there, I promise you. Ones that not only do not harm you, but will help you.