Do you get tired of always being the one to "pick up the phone"?

No problem there for me! I almost never make calls anymore and don’t really worry about who does or doesn’t call me. E-mails are the way to go.

@Cruiser The question is really about initiating contact.

YES!

And it’s not as if people I like aren’t happy to hear from me when I do contact them, but when I express that I’d like some reciprocity, I get crickets and that’s so irritating. If I can make the time, then so can they. I know that my real friends will give me the back and forth that any real relationship requires. Well, I’m grateful for the friends I do have.

I have a hard time initiating contact. I’m always afraid that the person doesn’t want to hear from me. If they did, they’d call me—or whatever. It takes a lot for me to prepare myself to contact someone. Soon, I may be in a position where I have to tell someone some bad news, and I’d really rather not ever have to have anything to do with them again. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that. I don’t know what I’ll do.

@janbb: It depends on the individual and our relationship. If it is someone who has a very busy lifestyle (e.g. young children, work and school, etc.) I don’t take it personally that they don’t have time to reach out. But there are some where I might feel that perhaps they don’t want to be bothered with me, since I don’t hear from them.

When my son was young, I had a friend that was a scorekeeper, which annoyed me. Now that she has a child of her own, she understands how the days, weeks, and months can fly by…

I must say that technological changes have helped… it is easier to stay in touch via emails and texts. Plus I like that social networks allow me to interact with friends around the globe on a much more casual basis and less inclination for ‘scorekeeping’.

Absolutely, it makes me feel like I’m nagging the other person.

I tend to be the initiator in relationships, and sometimes I do get tired of it. And I have even felt insecure in the past about it.

I am always grateful for my friends that do initiate contact.

@janbb and I commented on how I almost never make calls anymore which to me is initiating contact?? I have a pretty basic structured life which centers around my family, scouts and work. Other than that I make calls to friends each month I can count on one finger!

I’m usually the one who calls/writes with my friends. I have some who write on their own, but it’s usually me.

The closer I am to them in terms of friendship, the more likely I am to take the initiative. In general though, they have to initiate contact. Once they do I’ll gladly talk their ear off, as it were, but unless I’m particularly excited about something or really have something I can’t wait to tell them the ball’s in their court. I’ve never found that time between contact or response time makes me uncomfortable, aside from time sensitive issues, even if it’s been a couple years, I’ll talk to them like it was yesterday (just with a lot more to say).

I only initiate conversation if I want to talk to a person. When someone texts me I usually try to find a way to stop talking to them unless it is the person that I was going to text anyways.

I rarely initiate contact but it’s because I’m distracted and really busy. When I think of calling or whatever it’s usually late and I hate to wake someone up because I just now thought about something I wanted to say.

Nope, because I don’t. Unless you have a special jingle.

I’ve done that but not recently, it does give you a feeling of “insecurity” like you need them and not the other way around, or better, like you need each other. It seems to me that, unless the other party has a really good reason, if they are good friends they will give you good conversation and make sincere efforts to be the one to “pick up the phone”. I found out that sometimes, if you do the same thing, like ignoring them for awhile, the roles will switch, of course that can backfire though

At some point, and this is not necessarily an easy thing to determine, you have to say that you need better friends. Or at least friends that enjoy your company as much as you do theirs. Look at each of your relationships. If you are initiating contact 3 out of 4 times I would strongly suggest that taking a hard look at the benefit vs cost of that relationship will likely be mostly cost. Don’t waste time trying to fix poor under performing relationships. Spend your energy finding new ones. We all need friends. But we all deserve good ones. Take charge of your address book and fill it with people that share your passion for you.

I don’t have that problem, I’m one of those people who causes that problem for other people I suppose. I don’t like the phone, so I rarely call others. When I use the phone I pace like a caged animal. It’s nothing personal and my friends know this about me, luckily they forgive me my quirks.