If you could travel back in time to a moment in your life with all you know now, what would you advise yourself?

a. Definitely
b. My dad and I have this gift where we will look like we’re 14 forever
c. No, I’d be very inquisitive, probably to the point of being a nuisance.
d. Probably not, hopefully.

I would go back to the thirteen year old and remind him not to use soap for “that” remember that no matter how anyone feels about who you are about to become to stay strong, it will all be ok, no matter how enticing don’t touch that cigarette you’re going to be offered at 17, write “x screenplay” now so I don’t have to finish it when I get back to present time and… don’t waste your money on the rest of the Star Wars movies.

She’s a walking disease, stay far, far away.

“Listen to your parents—don’t marry that girl.”
a) Probably not.
b) Yes, and I’d be happy
c) No
d) No. Probably more self-loathing.

Don’t eat that crayon. Once addicted, those damn Crayola colors change the color of your poop.

You really oughta rethink that Atari idea.

Don’t marry him.
Finish the advanced degree.
Start saving money earlier.

Current Me: “You should know, this is an awful AWFUL idea.”

Ten Years Ago Me: “Screw you, Fatboy! I’m in love!”

Current Me: (shrugs, sighs, and begins to walk away) Oh, by the way, invest in Google.”

Ten Years Ago Me: “Up yours, loser! I’m investing in Jean Claude Van Damme movies! That gravy train will never stop rolling!”

a) I like to think yes. The current me knows enough about the old me that I’d be able to establish who I was.

b) Probably.

c) No, because if I get one shot at this I’m going to use it to fix some of the biggest mistakes I ever made.

d) Since I don’t remember ever meeting myself, and since the point of this is to fix the screwups, I’d hope that I wouldn’t be the same when I got back.

And the advice? I’d go back to talk to the 15–16 year old me, and say – first, nobody you meet and care about in college will care that you’re gay. Come out of the closet as soon as you can, and don’t miss all those opportunities. Also, hit the gym. You won’t rediscover it until you’re 30, and the only reason you hate it is because of your asshole gym teacher. Don’t let him keep you away from a good thing. And grad school? Go for it. It will suck worse than anything you’ve ever done, and then you’ll leave it and find out that the corporate world sucks worse.

I’d look back to high school and college and CONFRONT myself, asking repeatedly, is that crap on television really more important than that homework assignment you are going to skip or that test tomorrow that you know you can coast through easily and get the B when you ought to be able to get an A?

Will that TV show help you go straight A so you can go to an out-of-town college on scholarship instead of riding the subway and living at home for four more years?

In college, is smoking that joint or playing bridge until midnight more important than reading those chapters for intro to Biology and which option will do more to help you achieve your dream of getting into medical school?

I ended up as an accountant so you can draw your own conclusions

SRM

I’d definitely try to talk my 20 year old self into not trying so hard to gain weight, who would have thought once it started going on it would be impossible to slow that train down once it started rolling?

@ srmorgan: all work and no play makes jack a dull boy

@guesswho – Nobody ever called me dull, even if I earn my living as an accountant.

I had a ball in college, I got stoned nearly every day and drank on the other days. Drinking was legal at 18 in those days in New York. I met lots of women because I sold women’s shoes for four years. I went to concerts, I played bridge for hours.

But by the end of my sophomore year I knew I wasn’t going to make the cut and go to medical school.
Things did not turn out badly, I love doing what I do, but in some ways, you have to wonder what if…..
You will be 58 someday and have the same perspective.

SRM

unfortunatly, life does pass by fast, but I didn’t mean to push a button with you…
Everyone grows up differently- and in their own time frame- I’m in school now and its tough making good grades on top of work and social life- but I know someone who’s an accountant- and it just seemed like in your statement that you were conveying a sense of frustration- like maybe part of you regrets watchings tv so mug. Or as if you think things would have gone differently career wise, for you, if you had taken your own advise.
you said draw my own conclusions- so I did. Besides, I mainly made the comment because that’s how I remind myself that everything will be fine if i just have fun doing what needs to be done.

oh yeah – and the guy I know- who’s an accountant- he’s far from dull. Besides… I totally suck hard core at math.

I’m sure that in 10–20 years I’ll want to come back in time and tell myself to stop worrying so much about not being fat. I would probably tell myself to try and enjoy my life more instead of calling myself stupid and worthless every single day. I’d probably also tell myself to eat more fiber.