Did my boyfriend lie to me about marijuana and the affects?

This sounds like an excuse to me. I’m not sure of the exact side effects of pot, but I thought it was supposed to make you more paranoid, no? If anything, that would make him more cautious. Although, it is a depressant and would relax him at the same time.

It can lead you to lower your inhibitions (the sex) and to fall asleep. On the other hand, it does not remove all fault for his actions.

I guess I am wondering why you care what happened 6–7 years ago, and why you would hold that against your boyfriend now?

Not everyone takes a hit the same way and there’s always the chance it was laced or dipped. On the whole, I’ve never known it to have such an effect where I’d have sex with someone I wasn’t interested in and didn’t find attractive. I don’t know I’d say it directly lowers your inhibitions, but it does help put them into a better perspective (mellow).

I’d not waste your time worrying about it though. It was prior to your relationship, not to mention many years ago. Also he may not be “lying” per se, he may blame the drug for his actions (and believe it to be true) because he doesn’t want to think he’d do that otherwise.

As much as I do enjoy sex. After smoking pot. I would rather have a pizza, maybe two.

I guess part of it is because when we dated, I found a pic of his private sent to a girl he use to know and she sent him a pic of her in a bra. I found out about it and yelled at him and he claimed he was really high at that time too and said he’d never do it again and wouldn’t get high again. I forgave him, this was years ago but everyone is now telling me that weed doesn’t lower inhibitions and I’m just feeling like the past is back and this was all him and nothing at all else.

If it was him would you still forgive him? Once you know the effect something has on you, willingly exposing yourself to it makes you at least partly responsible for your actions while under its influence. You just need to ask yourself if you believe him. If you do, problem solved. If not, you need to consider why it matters to you and, if necessary, confront him. Though again, if this is all in the past (years ago), I’d lean towards letting it go. What’s done is done, so long as it’s not continuing, no worries.

Weed can make one very very horny. Just sayin.

@wonderingwhy: I think he really believes being high affects his decisions. He doesn’t smoke weed anymore because he made him feel bad. He can’t anyways because he recently got back from training in the Army. I know he is drug free but I just don’t know why he would use it as an excuse. He drinks alcohol and he handles himself very well when drunk unlike most people so I don’t get it. He doesn’t blame anything on the alcohol

@ubersiren Paranoia is a side effect, but it varies with the individual and the type of weed. It’s not guaranteed.

People can do stupid things when they’re high. Like @marinelife said, it does not excuse you from your actions, of course, but you’re not sober. When you’re high, your brain is not working the same way it would if you were sober. So while he was well aware of his choice to have sex, it’s possible that he may have not done it if he wasn’t high.

Weed can make you feel much more kindly towards the people around you if you are comfortable. If you are uncomfortable, it can make you paranoid. Weed can also make you really horny. I would have no problem believing his story, although I really think it is irrelevant due to the amount of time that has passed since then.

I think that the real problem is trust issues. The fact that you remember this and are obsessing on it is very worrisome. Perhaps you have other reasons to worry about your boyfriend and you’re kind of sublimating them in this old issue. Or perhaps your brain has changed and you are obsessing more about things in general. Are you having any more anxiety than you used to?

Ah, flaming youth. “Youth is wasted on the young.” I forget who said that but this thread had made me laugh. He sent her a picture of his what? She sent a pic of her in her bra? What?
I don’t know if he is trustworthy or not. Maybe he was stoned, maybe he was too embarrassed about it later and just claimed to have been stoned. Who knows? I’d say if he’s snapped out of it and learned to man up since then, chalk it up to youth gaining experience.
Don’t leave him alone if he’s drunk…. ;-)

His story is plausible to me. My ex, who was on Paxil and suffered sexual dysfunction as a result, would use pot as Viagra so that we could get it on.

Two very common side effects of smoking pot are horniness and sleepiness. It can heighten your senses, making physical touch feel really good. Loads of people like to smoke before they have sex for this reason. Paranoia, munchies, dry mouth, impaired cognition, and loss of motor coordination are some other side effects.

I don’t understand why you are so concerned about what happened so long ago, especially considering you weren’t romantically involved or anything at the time.

Anyone who blames marijuana for a crime or a slight they committed, is lying.

People who do that are trying to remove blame from the culprit: Themselves.

He may have been very high or very tired from the marijuana… yes that can happen. But your boyfriend learned from TV ads paid for by the White House during Bush, that “marijuana usage can lead to impairment including reckless sex “which leads to AIDS!” they then made sure to add. Some government web sites still trot that message out.

He’s using a government propaganda meme to lie to you, because he finds that convenient.

And yes, pot can make some people horny. But not to the point of it over-riding their minds. Not even close to what alcohol does.

@Kraigmo nailed it. Weed isnt alcohol. If you drink enough then I can see using alcohol as an excuse to go around having sex with girls you don’t like. But even at that, it’s still an excuse.

I guess it can make you horny though, in the sense that if you are already horny, and you smoke, you’ll probably want to have sex even more than you did before because your senses are heightened and whatnot….but even at that, for me personally, usually my need for food overpowers my need for sex at times like those lol.

As horny as weed can make you it doesn’t change your opinion about someone. Sounds like he is stretching the truth a bit. And to fall asleep during sex on weed sounds far fetched as well since it usually makes it feel ten times better, who falls asleep during that.

I’m just going to go with weed affects people differently like alcohol.

Neither marijuana nor alcohol makes us do anything. Either provides a socially accepted excuse for otherwise unacceptable behavior. For example, in those societies in which people don’t think that alcohol disinhibits, it doesn’t disinhibit.