Can we get cranked up and make this political joke day?

This should be fun.

Hey, did you hear the one about the wise politician? ...yeah, neither did I.

“The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.”
-Will Rogers

The British government.

Q: What did the Republican say to the Democrat?
A: No.

Damn Republicans…

This guy walks into a curiosities shop and sees a lifelike bronze rat statue. He asks the shopkeeper how much it is and the shopkeeper says, “Ten dollars for the statue and a hundred for the story.” The guy paid ten dollars for the statue and left. As he’s walking down the street, rats start to follow him. More and more rats follow him until he’s running from a crowd of them. He runs to the river and throws the statue into the river and all the rats go in after it. the man goes back to the shopkeeper who says, “You want to hear the story now?” and the man says, “No, I was wondering if you had any bronze republicans.”

Here’s one of my all time favorite George Carlin lines,

“Then there are some people, they’re not stupid, they’re not full of shit…they’re fucking nuts!
Dan Quayle is all three! All three! Stupid, full of shit, and fucking nuts!
And where did he get that wife of his? Have you taken a good look at that Marilyn Quayle?
Where did he get her, at a Halloween party or something? She looks like Prince Charles for Christ sake!
Let me ask you something, does he actually have to fuck that women! Huh?
God help him, I wouldn’t fuck her with a stolen dick!
That’s my political humor. People like it when you’re topical.”