Are people who they are or do they change and fluctuate?
• Are people really who they are and can never change who they are or do people actually change if certain events happen? If a person grew up with a narcissistic, self-absorbed personality will they ever get to a point where they are not the center? If they were a over the top egomaniac would they ever develop empathy for their fellow man? If they was a stubborn shit starter would they ever become the conciliatory person that is a team player? Or is it that people are who they are and what they are but that they adapt and conceal who they are to function as much as they can with the society around them? At best tolerating those they can’t stand, or different, or that they feel are inferior to them? There is a saying that you can tame a tiger to jump through a hoops or push a ball out of your hand but no matter how tame you think it is it is still a tiger and will one day act like it; as if to say people may act apart from who they really are but they can’t ever escape it. More truth than false or visa versa?
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I think a major event can change a person. But how they grew up will still be fundamental in who they will become. For example if that person who grew up narcissistic and sefl-absorbed had a child, perhaps a change would be made for the better? They may realize that they are not always going to be the only person needing to be taken care of. But in growing up the way they did, traces of who they used to be may show, such as sometimes being a little selfish when it comes to the wants and needs of the child vs. their own.
People do change, though. We are not permanent beings in any way, although we like to think so.
I think people are heavily influenced by their environments and, therefore, change throughout their whole lives. There will be qualities about you that remain with you forever from your upbringing, but you can hang on to those qualities and still turn into a completely different kind of person. If you find religion, drugs, rehab, atheism, depression, trauma, great knowledge or another life-changing event, you can really do a 180. Even just learning to grow up and how to respect yourself and fellow man will make a huge difference in a life. Someone who went to high school with you or a family member you haven’t seen in a while might not recognize the new you.
Of course, not everyone reacts to big life events the same way. It is possible though, to answer your question.
Of course…..people always change as they live life and experience new things and go through things. Just look at the changes you made from being a teen to however old you are now.
Some people are firm in their beliefs, like a mountain. Other people constantly flicker & fluctuate like a restless flame.
I’m not a big believer in deep personality change after the age of 30 or so. Change is hard work & the majority of people just aren’t willing. But it’s possible.
I think there are basics that don’t change, unless trauma of some kind intervenes. I expect my ex MIL was a mean spirited child.
From moment to moment you are who you choose to be.
People are who they are. That doesn’t preclude growth. We constantly learn and grow.
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