Is it acceptable for a nursing mother to feed her child in public, as long as she is covered?

It’s acceptable even if she is not covered. I dislike the remnants of puritanical beliefs in this country. They’re just boobs. Every other person in the world has them. Some men do, too.

Perfectly acceptable if done discreetly!

YES!

I agree with what @tinyfaery said.

A cover like a baby blanket is perfectly acceptable. I covered my kids and bare breast for a few reasons; modesty being one, a desire not to be militantly in-your-face was another, and also to keep wind, or light out of baby’s eyes and I also felt that the environment was “closer”.

I am completely with @tinyfaery on this one – feeding a child shouldn’t have to be about discretion, so to speak and people should leave moms alone, for crying out loud. We’ve had long discussions on here about this as well and they never go anywhere because people have different comfort levels and different levels of ‘the stick’ up their ass.

I second @tinyfaery

Breastfeeding in public…how ever the mother wants/needs to breastfeed is fine. For all the puritans out there, just try battling with a baby who is breastfeeding and pulling a blanket down at the same time. Often that is a losing battle.

Now, personally, I always tried to cover up as I am a modest person. But I completely respect, and even admire, women who don’t feel the need to.

Why not?

I just really struggle to understand how it’s inappropriate for a mother to feed her child in public.. but the amount of sex on TV is never questioned. There may not necessarily be nudity on every channel, but the suggestion is strong enough to make me blush if I’m sitting in a room with the right person.

No. If the mother is in public then the child should starve to death. Alternatively maybe nursing mothers should not be allowed out in public. Better still, pregnant women shouldn’t be allowed out in public as they just remind everyone they’ve had sex.

@Lightlyseared or menstruating women…that’s just nasty

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I’m failing to think of a witty comeback for that (a tasteful one, anyway)

heh… Hooter Hiders

Yes, it’s acceptable.

Meh, who cares? It’s someone feeding a baby for goodness sake. I think most people would rather have a bare boob or two in public than a crying baby because mom’s not allowed to feed the baby in public.

Personally, I really like what my mall does. There are a number of family bathrooms throughout the mall with booths with comfy chairs for women to breastfeed in. I would imagine as someone who has never had children or breastfed that a lot of women would prefer to breastfeed in private simply because someplace noisy would disrupt the baby. Mommas, please correct me if I am wrong. :)

Why must the breast be covered? Are you so immature that you cannot disambiguate the erotic function from the nurturing function of a breast? Maybe you need psychoanalysis.

I don’t see any problem with women breast feeding in public (covered or not). I don’t understand why so many people are against it. If you go to a zoo and see a mommy feeding her babies, you hear everyone saying things like “aww, how cute”, but if it’s a woman out in public, people seem to scoff and run in the other direction. It’s a natural process and should be allowed in public. The only time I would understand it not being allowed is if there is a hazard with allowing it (like no breast feeding in the pool).

Personally, I agree with the majority here: breastfeeding in public, with minimal exposure is acceptable.

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But it makes me wonder about what passes as accepted convention for “acceptable” in other areas. That is, “offensive” is dictated by the observer, not the actor.

In the work place, sexual harassment is typically determined by what other people find offensive, not what the offender’s actual intent might be. One could make the same case for use of the N——- word in social circles as well.

If we take that stance with other “offensive” behavior, why is breast feeding treated differently?

The answer, I think, is that it involves necessity. Infants must be fed. And often. And no, formula isn’t always – indeed, it frequently is not – an option.

@robmandu: Excellent points. You are correct about formula often not being a viable option. It’s expensive and one more thing to carry and what happens if you run out? breast milk is easy and right there and often healthier for the baby. Also, hello, it hurts mom if she doesn’t get the extra milk out somehow and, once again, breast feeding is often the easiest method.

Will someone please help me understand this fetish with “exposure”? I understand that a mom might feel more comfortable if she covered up, but why in hell should anyone care if another mom doesn’t feel like covering up? What cascade of dreadfulness follows upon your seeing an infant sucking upon a teat?

@dpworkin: Well, you see, breasts are evil things created by Satan to tempt men to lascivious thoughts and actions. Exposing them is an affront to good family values. Obviously.~

@dpworkin, well, to attempt the opposite tack:

Evacuating one’s bowels is also a natural and necessary act, and yet we require that be done in a private place.

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If I had to guess, I’d say that it’s normal for folks to feel like if they’d cover something up for modesty purposes, and they know that most other folks would, too… then it’s not unusual for them to feel offended when someone else doesn’t.

It’s not exactly rational… but it’s not weird or idiotic either.

I see, so you conflate shit with breast milk? Interesting.

@robmandu: Ah, but we don’t require eating to be done in private, unless the one doing the eating is a baby and mom is supplying the food directly.

@dpworkin, is that humor? Weak, man.

@KatawaGrey, well, I think @tinyfaery is closest to the mark. This stigma will only ever go away if breasts can be put on display anywhere, anytime, for any reason.

And as long as men continue to objectify the feminine form, stare lewdly, and act inappropriately about it, then the stigma will remain… often from other women, maybe as a form of self-defense.

@robmandu It wasn’t intended to be humor. I am speechless that you think that the two functions are comparable in any way, and I wonder what makes your ideation so foul.

@robmandu I kind of see your point BUT the reason you can’t just evacuate your bowels or bladder anywhere is that there are serious health risks in doing so, which is why human beings, once we started to live in cities, invented dedicated areas/machines to take care of it.

The only consideration should be the cleanliness of the location – but my answer is yes.
@tranquilsea My Daughter In Law has that problem – the little guy refuses to allow a blanket over him.

@YARNLADY My kids hated it too once they got to be about 3½ to 4 months old. Modesty went out the window and I gave up.

I don’t understand what could possibly be wrong with this.

I don’t understand…the nipple is in the baby’s mouth, if that is the big deal. So, the most that can be seen is probably some cleavage. Boy, if that’s offensive, then there are a lot of clothing manufacturers and people wearing them in violation.

I nurse in public and do not use a cover. I don’t usually have one on me, and don’t see a need for it. The top part of my breast is exposed, but not my nipple. My husband jokes that it was almost “full frontal nudity” and that my boob is all over the place. He doesn’t mind that I breastfeed, he does tell me if I look too exposed. I usually put my hand across the top of my breast, but really? I could wear a low cut shirt that showed the same cleavage.

Now, when he pulls off quickly, I am not responsible for the nipple show. I can’t help that. lol.

I was just in Ikea walking around without a cover, and usually keep my little guy in an Ergobaby so I’m not always completely exposed. But, my state protects me. It’s not indecent exposure.

I think breastfeeding is beautiful and I take no offense at public feedings, including restaraunts.

Of course I am a hippie at heart, I also think babies should be naked till they are about 7 and I bathed with my daughter and she showered with her father until she was 6 or so.

Breasts and body parts have been over sexualized and their basic functions made shameful.

Men can watch porn night and day, walk into nude nightclubs, pick up prostitutes but a woman cannot expose her breast for the god given reason it was designed?

Pffft!

Go figure!

Depends if the kid is a sloppy eater and if he has a beard or boobs of his own or at least if it can talk and say, mommy I want your boobies.

@Pandora It doesn’t matter if a child can verbalize that they want to eat.

Something else that I forgot to mention and it doesn’t look like anyone else has addressed it either is; the other breast. When my milk let down, both would go at once. Those dang pads really can’t absorb all the milk that comes out. Lord, I had forgotten about having those big wet spots on the front of my blouses. I preferred a private place so I could cope with the several streams of milk shooting out from the other breast and the clean up afterward.
How did I forget that? We really need to invent something to cope with that. Maybe a hands-free catcher that funnels it into a bottle or something. Not a breast pump, because it comes without pumping, but something to catch it. Dang. It’s all coming back. My arm would get wet, and the milk would find any crease and run into it. If you came closer than four feet to me you were in danger, and the direction was totally random. I had four or five spouts.
Wow. The pads, the extra milk, the multiple directional nipple spouts, I had forgotten. Thanks for the stroll down memory lane people. I’ve enjoyed it. ;-)

@Trillian A sprinkler suddenly sprang into my mind for some reason.

@Coloma well said. :)

@Trillian: I feel I must let you know that I am laughing quite hysterically.

@KatawaGrey Are you losing fluid from anywhere? if you’re not, you’re not really laughing hard enough!
You wait sister. You’ll have some kids someday. Take my advice, try now to invent something that catches all that milk. Tell me about it so I can buy stock. Lurve you!

Anytime I felt a let down when I was nursing I put the heal of my hand on the free breast. That action didn’t completely stop what was happing but it sure minimized how much came out.

@Trillian I had the same problem! I leaked for at least 3 months (the other side or both at night) until I found LilyPads. They are soft silicone about the size of a coaster. You press the center onto your nipple and the vacuum effect keeps the milk from seeping out. After a while I was ‘trained’ not to leak.

I always wanted to invent the water bra, ( which I think has been done now ) like a teething ring, inserts that could be warmed or cooled for whatever relief was needed in the moment.

Oh those days, I remember…haha

The pads actually do a great job for letdown, but when I first started nursing..it was uncontrollable leaking…our comforter would be soaked at night!

Yes. As a matter of fact it is acceptable for a mother to nurse her child in public even if she is uncovered. I have walked through Target pushing a cart with a baby latched on. I just gave a pleasant smile to anyone who stared. The more glaring the look, the more pleasant my expression. What’s funny is that those same people probably would have given me the same look had I been carrying a shrieking child through Target.

Breasts are for feeding babies. They are not genital organs. If you are offended by the sight of a breast while the woman feeds her baby:

A) Don’t look!

B) Grow up! Just because our society has sexualized breasts and constructed foolish taboos should not force nursing mothers to run for cover when the baby is hungry.

C) Learn that breasts are secondary sexual characteristics like enlarged Adam’s apples, chest hair, beards, and deeper voices in males. None of these have to be concealed! Men decided that women’s breasts are sex organs. They became accustomed to dictating to women how they must dress. The custom of concealing female breasts has lead to a culture that worships breasts but it terrified of them being seen. How stupid!

D) Mind your own business!

@casheroo If you are at a resturant and your kid can verbalize a whole sentence than I think you can either wait to feed them at home or order them something to eat from the menu. Its not like they are going to starve at that very moment. No doubt they already have some teeth and can chew.

It is acceptable to me. I t is nature, she is feeding her baby.

I’ve got a question. With breast pumps so readily available. Why don’t breast feeding moms pack a few bottles to go. I worked in a day care and we had a few moms who would pump there breast and leave us with a few bottles to feed their babies since they couldn’t come in during work to feed their babies. Why is that not possible when they go out in public? Some of them had a cooler with the milk and said when they are on the road they just warm up the milk in the car. Some liked the bottle because they had a better idea of how much their baby drank.

@Pandora I don’t even have time to pump. I did get a single pump, and a double pump..so when I do pump it only takes like 10–15 minutes. But, the set up, the clean up, the storing. Plus, I’m a stay at home mother, so I really have no need to pump. I do have a few bags of milk in the freezer, in case of an emergency. But, my little guy is pretty much always with me.
I also have no problem or issue with nursing in public. I’m not embarrassed or ashamed. Plus, not nursing when your baby needs it can cause your supply to slip, and your supply is extremely important (especially when you first start breastfeeding).

@Pandora Breast pumps are not readily available (your privilege is showing) – they’re expensive and hard to use and for me, they simply didn’t work in that no damn milk came out, after hours of torture…and some people do like using bottles, awesome for them but it shouldn’t matter if there are people who don’t like bottles and really how can you compare the closeness you feel to your infant when breastfeeding over using a bottle? It’s incomparable and I would never choose latter over the former just to make prudish people comfortable.

@Pandora: My mom’s got inverted nipples. She couldn’t pump because of that. :(

Although, I wouldn’t nurse apparently but I think that’s because my mom’s got huge knockers when they’re not filled with milk. She says they were bigger than my head. :P

@Pandora Good question – my DIL tried pumping, and it was totally useless. Like @Simone_De_Beauvoir says, hours of torture and no milk. My experience was that when Hubby gave Sonny a bottle so I could go to my classes, Sonny stopped wanting to nurse because the bottle was easier. We only got three months of breast feeding.

When it comes to pumping, there is also the consideration of whether or not the baby will take a bottle. Try as I might I could not get my youngest to take anything but the breast. I did everything the lactation consultant told me to do, heck I even tried having the little guy lap it up out of a cup like a kitten, but nothing worked, he just wanted the breast.

@SuperMouse We’re going through that currently :( He took a bottle in the beginning, when I was freaking out about sore nipples and desperate for a break from nursing. And then he didn’t really get a bottle for a while, and now he freaks when we try to give it to him. My poor husband doesn’t know what to do with the kid when I go out lol

@SuperMouse That is funny. :)
@Yarnlady Makes sense.
@KatawaGrey I’m not sure but I think inverted nipples makes it difficult altogether to breast feed. Its been years for me so forgive me if I’m incorrect.
@Simone_De_Beauvoir The breast pump didn’t come out till I already had my two kids. So no priviledge there.
I get there are reason why some people may not be able to use a pump, but if you are able too and able to avoid making people around you uncomfortable when in public than why not make the effort. Is it something to be ashamed of. No. But neither is kissing someone you love in public. Its also not illegal to make out with someone in public. But it makes people around you uncomfortable. So lets say, there are no reasons you can’t. You, own a pump, you have no problem physically using it, your baby has no problem using a bottle. So you go out to a resturaunt and you simply for convience choose to breast feed. Then its about what you want. Your not really doing it for the baby and you simply don’t care about the comfort of others around you. You don’t have to agree but saying its their hang up and so not your problem seems a bit selfish. Your kid isn’t going to end up in therapy because you fed from a bottle at a restuarant instead of the nipple whenever you were in a very public place. Not everyone with a child in a public place feels like having to explain to their child what the woman with the baby attached to her boob is doing.
When I first fell in love with my husband we had a hard time keeping our hands off of each other, but I knew that public displays such as french kissing made others feel uncomfortable. Yes it was their hangups, but it is something we could avoid doing until we are alone. Burping, farting, scratching private areas over clothing, are also harmless and yet we avoid doing that in public.

@casheroo I feel for you! We tried every kind of bottle there is and he was not interested in any of them! It cost a fortune and that kid went straight from the nipple to a sippy cup, no bottle ever. I feel for your husband too, after a couple of times of coming home to a hysterical baby and even more hysterical father, I finally resorted to taking the kid with me for girls nights out. I guess our boys just like their meals from the original container!

@Pandora Most people consider bottles to be a convenience, not the breast. I disagree that someone choosing to breast feed instead of pumping and using a bottle is being selfish. Introducing a pump and bottle into the equation can also introduce other things (such as the possibility of something not being cleaned properly and passing bacteria on to the baby). Also, the breast never has to be warmed up, so there’s no worry about how mom is going to get her baby’s bottle warmed up to the right temperature.

@SuperMouse Better watch out when they grow up. They’ll probably get the habit of drinking straight from the jug. LOL
@casheroo We would occasionally have that problem with some of the babies in daycare. We found that the really short nipples worked with most and especially if you boil them a few times and make them soft. Also make sure the hole isn’t too big or too small. If its too small they get impatient and if its too big they choke because they are swallowing too quickly. Also tell dad to hold your infant really close like he’s being breast fed. He probably feels dads insecurity when he’s holding him and that make your baby uncomfortable during the feeding.

@Seaofclouds For the reasons you just stated the bottle isn’t so convient. A womans nipple isn’t always so sanitary either. If it were than it would never get infections when breast feeding.

@Pandora I actually avoid using my pump because the risk of getting thrush is much higher.

Also, I never really notice anyone breastfeeding. I just noticed a mother doing it at the mall the other day, but I think since I’m a mother..I sort of look out for it now. But, prior to that…I swear, I can’t remember ever seeing it.
Someone mentioned me breastfeeding in public the other day. I was on a train exhibit, sitting down..and this elderly man says loudly to me “Where’s your towel?” in a joking voice. And then said “I haven’t seen a mother breastfeeding in AGES! Don’t see that too often anymore”
That part made me feel really good. I hope women see that I have no problem with it, and they feel confident to do it as well.

@Pandora Yes, women can get mastitis from bacteria getting into cracked skin, but there are also other causes for mastitis. Other causes can be a tight bra, skipped feedings, infrequent changes of wet breast pads, anemia, stress or fatigue. Also, the bacteria that is normally found in a baby’s mouth can also cause mastitis (so it’s not necessarily that the mother’s breast isn’t sanitary).

I completely understand what you are saying. I just don’t think any woman should feel like she should be pumping and using a bottle instead of breast feeding if the system they already have is working for them. I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business how a mother feeds her baby.

@Seaofclouds, True. I’ve just always been the type of person who never really like to be noticed for something I am doing unless it was what I was going for.
Well time for me to go to bed. Have a good nite. :)

Just wanted to point out that the price of a breast pump these days is not prohibitive for any income level: $46.54.

That said, I fully understand and agree with posters explaining why pumping is not for everyone, in much the same way that formula is not for everyone.

@Pandora I will do what makes my kid comfortable before I will do it for anyone else – that is a sign of a good parent. Besides, it shouldn’t make anyone else uncomfortable so the burden of growing the hell is on them not on me and I know there are plenty of normal people who are not uncomfortable with it – I’m not uncomfortable with it, my friends aren’t – thankfully our numbers will increase.
@robmandu – first of all, that one sucks the most – the cheaper they are the worse they are…second of all, 45 bucks is a lot of money for a lot of mothers here in Brooklyn.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir, so for a breast pump, is “sucking the most” a bad thing? ;-P

Seriously though, with my own number 3 arriving soon, I’m way more aware of the characteristics of breast pumps, their pricing, and how they work than I ever would have predicted.

Point is, a $1,000 car is “worse” than a $30,000 car, but they both can get you to your destination.

@robmandu They don’t work for many like they didn’t work for me and they take time (time I didn’t have) to get milk out but with breastfeeding, you can do what you need and feed the infant

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I actually have that pump, it’s great for occasional use. But definitely not if you have to pump every single day. I got a Lansinoh Double Electric, which is basically an Ameda Purely Yours..but 100 bucks cheaper. It’s still over 100 dollars though, which isn’t always feasible, especially when just having a baby.
I’ve heard some women just don’t react well to a pump. I can only get up to three ounces, and I KNOW my little guy is getting more than that when I breastfeed since he’s over 12lbs and only 11 weeks old.

The La Leche League has a rental and WIC has a visit and pump program, but I still don’t believe it is necessary unless the mother has a specific need.

@YARNLADY Those are choices in place for women who would not breastfeed and need to be encouraged to at the very least pump so that the baby can get breast milk still.

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. Unless you cover the kid’s head under a blanker or shawl etc, there will be some exposure. As much as many people are not comfortable with public breastfeeding many are still afraid that somehow the little nipper might break the lip lock and expose a nipple nipples are evil in American society and we can’t have that (if the sarcasm is exceptionally dry that happens)

@Hypocrisy_Central I was certainly a major menace to society when I was nursing! While I was not exposing my chest for anyone who wanted a peak, I did not cover the little nipper’s heads and I am sure that the occasional curious passerby got a peak. I’d be willing to bet there are at least five or ten people walking around with ruined lives and that horrible image burned into their brains all because of my thoughtlessness.~

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