Should we stay together if I am not in love with her?

No. Why waste your time and her time? You’re going to break up eventually (least you lead miserable lives from now on), so given that you’ll break up, the earlier the better.

Yep, time to man up, if you don’t really feel it, then you are playing games with anothers heart & emotions and that makes YOU a disingenious ass.

Don’t string her along and allow her to beleive your feelings are more genuine than they are.

I’d have a long talk about your ambiguities and maybe take some space so you can sort out your true feelings.

It’s a gamble of course, as she may or may not be into giving things another chance, but…it’s the RIGHT thing to do.

Good luck!

Depends on what kind of future you see with this woman. If none then be a gentleman and tell her the truth. Better you break it off now before she gets more emotionally involved.

Make no mistake you will be the bad guy, but that’s life. It’s unfair to her to string her aong if you are not in love with her.

No, that’s called ‘taking advantage’ and you are depriving her of a chance to find someone who really does love her.

Some relationships work when the “in love” feeling doesn’t exist but the “very fond of” feeling does. It’s more about companionship than passion. However, I think this is only fair if both parties feel the same way and not when one is in love and the other is just fond of. I think, at the very least, you need to be honest with her and let her decide whether you carry on as a couple based on the differences in feelings.

your just wasting your time on her while you could find someone else and maybe feel diffrent.

Why is it solely your decision? Why not lay out the dilemma and get her input on it as well?

It seems to me that if you know she wants a true, loving, permanent relationship and you do not, you should be honest with her about that. If you don’t actually want to break up, it will give her the opportunity to stay with understanding of what this is, or leave to look for what she actually wants.

To be honest, I have been in love before – head over heels – but we weren’t actually compatible in personality and lifestyle. I didn’t care and thought nothing mattered other than our deep love for one another. Well, in the end it did matter, we would fight a lot and our relationship was very emotional and intense.

My current partner and I are best friends. We get each other and our lives fit perfectly together. We can talk, we can laugh, we can offer advice and support to one another. We love each other and deeply care about each other. We have the most stable relationship I have ever experienced with comfort and happiness. No fighting and ups and downs.

I openly admit I am not in love with him (gushy intense in love feelings) and never have. I am comfortable about this because we are perfect for each other in every other way.

I personally don’t believe I need to be head over heels in love with him to be happy and have a solid long lasting relationship.

I think she’s the only one that can answer this. I know if I knew that my partner already “loved me but wasn’t in love with me”, I’d respectfully bow out of the relationship.

No, break it off unless the two of you have talked and she understands and accepts your feelings as they are and chooses to keep enjoying the comfort of the relationship. Some people do fine with this set up while others find their intimacy tapers off more and more until only a comfortable but platonic relationship remains. Personally, I feel everyone should feel the are chosen to be loved rather that being the “default to aloneness” loved one.

If you think it may be turning into love, stay there.

If your sure it will not progress, let her go.

It sounds like it’s time to call it a day. Hopefully the two of you could remain friends, but you won’t be wasting your time or hers. That sounds harsh, but life is so short and if you’re not truly “in it”, then let her go.

You sound like you already know the answer to this question. It also sounds like you’re a nice guy and you don’t want to hurt her but this is a pay now pay later situation. Pay now. Set her free if you know she’s not the one for you.

Stay together. you may regret any rash decisions right now. if you two are compatible and enjoy each others company and have fun together, this is what a relationship is all about. this is like a song says, “she is ugly, but she sure can cook”. wise words.

While I see no reason that would compell you to break up now. My concern would be that at some time in the future you do meet someone & fall in love.

dont hesitate…you will hurt her the more you delay. not fair.

@JeffVader brings up a really important thing there. How more awful to break off with her down the line after she’s made more investment in you and then you tell her at that point it’s never really been all about her but she was “comfortable” and now you’ve really fallen in love. That’s a great way to be remembered and referred to others as a grand a-hole.