Well, the first time around we didn’t plan to have a baby. Once that test was positive, however, we made a decision to have the baby and make parenting our priority. We both agreed that, even though we were young by today’s standards (early 20s), we had enough stability, family support, and common sense to make things work out. It didn’t take long to fall in love with our baby, and it certainly made us fall even more in love with each other. Disclaimer: I strongly believe that having a baby is a wonderful thing for a couple, but will NOT help a couple that is already having problems.
Our second child was planned well in advance. We waited until we bought a house. We always knew we didn’t want our daughter to be an only child. Our son is lucky he was born second, because if he’d been first he might have been the last. Colic is hell.
Our third child was also unplanned. About 8 months after our son was born, I found out I was pregnant again. That was when I completely gave up on birth control pills, because clearly they didn’t work for me. I was on the pill when our daughter was conceived, but thought I must have missed one without realizing it. With our youngest, I was certain I hadn’t missed any pills, wasn’t on antibiotics, and had taken them all on time. There’s nothing like a colicky baby to make you obsessive about taking the pill. Anyway, there was no question that we’d have the baby. Our first two were amazing, and I have to say my husband and I are pros at making healthy, beautiful, intelligent children. ;) We didn’t have any reason not to have the baby, and once he was born our family actually felt complete. Looking at the baby rolling around on a blanket with his older siblings sitting next to him, smiling down at him, gave me such a feeling of contentment and happiness.
I wouldn’t call parenting fulfilling, but I would say it can be very rewarding. Stressful, yes. There are days when I feel like I don’t get a moment’s peace because the three of them take turns being whiny, crazy, loud, sick, messy, or angry. When they get bored, they like to torment each other, and sometimes they do things that are so outrageously stupid I can only stand back and shake my head in awe. Really, you thought it would be a good idea to pee in the Lego box? Seriously? However, there are plenty of wonderful moments to balance it all out. The first time your child reads a book to you out loud, offers to share with someone without a reminder from you, stands up on stage at school to deliver a perfectly memorized speech or sing a solo, says “I love you” or learns to blow kisses…well, there’s not much to compare to that. They are their own little people, but it’s rewarding to think maybe my husband and I have something to do with their good traits. Everything else we blame on the grandparents.