What would be a funny (hilarious) topic for a teen opinion column for our towns newspaper?

I have an audition- so I need a topic that will blow the water, not like I have any competition whatsoever, its just good to do well. I have a few ideas like summer, how to’s, did you knows, etc. Do you have any ideas? Age range is 14–18 (no sex).

Should I write little funny short stories about embarrassing moments in my life that are relatable or should I write the funny factuals?

SERIOUS answers please..