I need some advice on having a better work ethic at home. Any help?

My flip answer is “Stay out of the house as much as possible!” It’s only partly flip actually, because I learned as a fairly old adult that it is much better seeking affirmation in the places wher you can get it, rather than trying to get it where you can’t. In my case, that meant leaving a cushy job in the family business and going back to work in a library. Obviously, you cna’t leave home as yet but it is great that you are getting validated elsewhere. You could try sitting your Mom down and talking to her about the successes you have and why you have difficulty succeeding at home. Or you could try to find a way to validate your own self for the jobs you do at home and give yourself the strokes you need. “Taint easy and I empathize with you.

It’s great that you’re so ambitious outside the home. I’m guessing your mother is a single parent. Please let me know if I’m wrong about that. She needs your help at home. You need to learn responsibility. Blah blah blah. Right? You sound like a bright kid. Try and feel a little empathy for mom.

Why don’t you surprise your mom by doing something to help her out without her asking you to. It could be anything: take out the garbage, dust the furniture, fold a load of laundry, offer to wash dishes after dinner. If you get compliments at the bookstore, I’m sure you can help out at home to your mom’s satisfaction. Like evandad said, have a little empathy for mom.

@evandad actually my mom & dad are coming up on their 25 year anniversary.

It might be worth a try to ask this question to your mom. It should provoke some interesting discussion if you shared the background information you included. One of the hardest things for a parent to remember to do is to catch their children doing something right. Maybe she would take it to heart if you called her attention to the fact you need positive feedback when you are doing something right as much as you need negative feedback when it is deserved.

Sit your mum down, and explain to her what you have done that is positive. Point out to her that you are helpful, and show her, by your actions, what a good person you really are.
Eventually I am sure she will see the good in you.

“my “bosses” think I’m amazing.” Key word is volunteer .

Become proactive and finding pride in what you accomplish. Your parents or people, in general, won’t always be around to give you that pat on the back you “need”.
:-)

You living at home is in effect a privileged afforded by your parents and you really should respect your parents for all that they do to put a roof over your head! You say “I’m always doing what I shouldn’t. I know why.” which appears to me to be a bit rebellious and in the grand scheme of things unnecessary. So unless you are looking to intentionally motivate your parents to kick you out of the house at the earliest opportunity they legally can I would play by their rules and “do what you should and know you should” to make life at home easier for everyone involved.

You apparently can impress people outside your home, give it a try at home and your parents just might recognize that quality in you too!

@Cruiser…I am grateful for all they do. It’s just so hard to get on my mom’s good side. I have been trying to impress them, but if they notice me doing something right, I’ll get some sarcastic remark. Do you know how hard it is to do what I should when no matter how good I do it, there’ll always be something wrong with it?

@ChocolateReigns That would blow big time! Parenting is not as easy as it looks and I have had to be hit on the head more than once to realize there are better ways of interacting with my kids. Often it has been the kids who do that teaching and that has been very humbling for me to admit I was wrong in how I handled a particular situation. I do know first hand praising kids for the good things they do goes much further than constant criticism of little things. You apparently knows this and I wish I had a magic answer for you….I don’t.