How to tell if this boy likes me?
Asked by
ccat45 (
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May 19th, 2010
Well when me and this guy first started high school there was a big rumor that he “liked me”. And I could really see that he did, he would talk to me and all that…but then a girl who i (kinda) talked with asked him out for me (without asking me if she could). The guy had said yes but i didn’t know she had asked him until a few days later. I wanted to tell him it was a mistake and all but things had gotten way to awkward. After a few weeks later we started talking again and then i ended asking him out myself…he said he didn’t know, and i walked away. The days after that he did try to talk to me but i couldn’t help but to avoid him because i didn’t know how to talk to him. Then we really stopped talking for a long time…but we would still look at each other and talk once and a while. Then I found out that he had a gf, and yeah i was bothered by it because i still felt like me and him still “had” something. He would ask me “Why” i was mad at him and why i wouldn’t talk to him…so i got really pissed of that he was rubbing it in my face so i really stopped talking to him. After a few months while i was at lunch and he was sitting with his friends and he was whispering something in one of his friends ear, and she the screamed out loud that he liked me (i guess that was his way of telling me he was single again). I still mad over the gf matter didn’t pay much attention to it (also being interested in someone else at the time). Then last month was his birthday, have gotten over the whole gf thing now…I realized i still liked him and got him something and i (eventually) give it to him. Since then we do talk to each other everyone in a while…but i don’t know if he still has the same feelings I do for him, I know the easiest way would be to just ask him but i don’t want to ask him until I’m sure if he does or not. I also don’t know how to get with him anymore or how to really talk to him. (He still looks at me when we are at school and smiles at lot when i past him…) What to you all think?? Sorry i wrote to much…
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6 Answers
First, I am so glad I am not this age anymore. In ten years you will look back on this & think, why did I fret so much? My policy on relationships is very simple…. be honest, be courteous & be upfront. Stop dilly-dallying & just pull him aside (no crowds- he may be nervous) & ask him, do you like me & would you like to go out? Get this torture over with. If he says no, guess what, the torture is over & you can move on. No one is benefitting from this he-said, she-said school yard gossip & games. Sorry if I sound bitter, but honestly, it’s high school. Some say it’s the best years of your life. I can tell you with absolute certainty, IT’S NOT! Ask him what he wants to do about the friendship/relationship & act like an adult & accept his answer with some dignity & nobility. That’s all you can do.
Y not just run up and give him a big wet one on his two lips! I am certain you will have some answers immediately thereafter!
We are not the boy. We don’t know.
You should pull him aside or while in school tell him you need to talk to him and tell him where you want to meet him. Later go and meet him at that place and talk to him really well, ask him all these questions you asked at the end of your story and if he says no to everything you should really move on with your life!
You need to ask him to do something outside of school. Go for coffee or a soda. Then, you make it clear that you are interested, and you see how he responds.
Wow, I think this friendship has been plagued by bullshit!
I mean, your friend asking him out for you, his friend screaming he liked you, rumours, awkward moments, times of avoiding, times of talking… terrible!
I’m not blaming you or him or anyone – these things sometimes happen, but there’s no point denying the situation. If you want to move forward, you have to recognize what’s happened and face up to it. If you do start a romantic relationship with this guy, you don’t want a foundation of bullshit. It’s time to be honest.
Next time you’re talking, start out with small-talk, light stuff: homework, the weather, a mutual friend or activity, etc. Then, at the first pause or silence, try to clear the air. Say something like “Listen, I know it’s been awkward between us for awhile. I really want to put it behind us and be normal with you.” Probably he’ll agree. Then you can say, “Do you want to go out some time?” Whatever he says, don’t just walk away! From now on, deal with everything as it happens. If he says “yes,” make a date then and there. If he says “no,” or “maybe” or “I don’t know,” say “Okay, but at least we can be friends,” and then finish up with some more casual small talk before leaving (yes, it can be difficult: struggle through it and avoid ongoing awkwardness and confusion later!).
Good luck.
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