I'm in a rut ... any advice on seeking a life coach?

I don’t have any personal experience, but I did meet one randomly one night out and she was really nice and she was easy to talk to. If I could afford it, I would totally use her services. I have her card if you’re interested. (I live in the Bay Area)

My recommendation is to seek out a roshi. I know there are several good Buddhist schools in the SF area (I don’t recall their names offhand, but it should be possible to find them easily enough). Buddhism, contrary to popular belief, is not a religion. Some religions incorporate Buddhist philosophy, but this is specifically because Buddhism is not itself a religion. The Gautama Buddha never made any claims to faith, and his philosophy is about this world and how to exist in it.

The main problem most people have today is a lack of stillness. We are assailed on all sides by tsunamis of information, by the constant clamoring of cellphones and televisions and advertising. Our attention spans are so ragged that we are incapable of practising the sort of stillness which is required to listen for the “still, small voice” of the spiritual path set before us.

There is a pattern fundamental to the Universe. When you are in sync with this pattern, life is effortless. The Taoists refer to this as “wei wu wei,” or, literally translated, “action no-action.” It’s sometimes translated incorrectly into English as “passivity,” but that’s not really what it means. Wu wei refers to the sort of inner stillness a dancer experiences when she has been dancing for many years and becomes one with the dance, no longer needing to think consciously about it. She is still within herself, able to observe herself passively while her body is extremely active, dancing effortlessly.

The first step a roshi (a Buddhist teacher) will attempt is to teach you stillness. Before anything else, before meditation or any kind of enlightenment is possible, first must come the stillness necessary to recognize the opportunities which present themselves when the Universe offers you a gift.

Any chance you could do this yourself? How about finding a hobby? Start an exercise program? Take a class? Start a small dog walking service? Do anything to get yourself out of this rut.

Why is the answer always in therapy or a pill?

If you have tried everything and still need help, fine, but try to help yourself first.

Edit: I’m not knocking on you. I’m just curious why we always think the answer is through someone or something else. I know a lot of people need therapy, but being in a rut to me doesn’t qualify. If it’s worse, ok. Seek help.

@SmashTheState not to be tangential, but wu wei that dancers experience I saw in the acts of a violinist about 2 months ago, I didn’t know what to call it. This is what I thought: This violinist in front of me is playing swiftly and it is evident that his mind is not particularly on the instrument from his facial expression alone. He is following the music in his mind. The violin is playing itself.

Then I began to think about it again. He is not only not thinking of the violin, he is not thinking of his fingers moving, his chin grasping. His limbs, his legs, all of it, they are just like the violin. He is playing that violin in his mind, and not out here with me where I am hearing it. Maybe the only thing that is keeping up the illusion is his ears completing the circuit when everything matches his expectation.

Doc, the violinist, really struck a chord and made me look inward quite deeply. Thanks for putting a sort of name on it for me.

Anyone have any insight on more technical terms for this inner auto pilot?

You are very smart to recognize that asking for help isn’t a weakness.

The coach would highly recommend is at anewleafcoaching.com. She isn’t in the SF area but she does the majority of her coaching by phone so geographic location isn’t an issue.

Good luck!

@missingbite: I need some advice and guidance which is why I’m looking for a professional. I want to know what’s out there for me, since I can’t seem to find it on my own. I have hobbies and interests and dreams and ambition but I am not sure how to best utilize all of it. I need some help sorting out and finding what is best for me.

@missingbite – Sometimes you get stuck. Despite wracking your brain, you can’t figure out how to move forward. A therapist or a life coach, or even a best friend—basically a party outside the first-person view of your life—can give you a different perspective. There is nothing wrong at all with recognizing you might need a nudge in the right direction.

A few years ago I went to she Christine Hassler. She is in Los Angeles but also does a lot of work over the phone. She is amazing at helping people get out of their own way and guiding towards finding your own answers.

Her first book may be a good way to start. It’s a workbook with many tough thought and emotion provoking questions. (I absolutely hated it- but I can not blame her for that. It was because I didn’t know the answers yet.)

Browse around her website. She has a lot of great info there. link

Good Luck!

@kellylet : which book? the 20 something manifesto or the 20 something, 20 everything one? do you think it’s worth buying?

@Ltryptophan

I am doing some hypnotherapy right now and it is awesome.

Ruts or feeling blocked are about changing the deep subconscious programming.

Part of this 7 week course I am in is homework in the form of mind power dynamics training.

Part of the MPD is spending 15 minutes twice daily in stillness to access your ‘creative source’..which could be called ‘God, ’ ‘Buddha nature’ ’ The still small voice’ etc.

The 20 something, 20 everything is the exercise book. It’s tough but really helpful.

@kellylet : thank you, i ordered it as soon as you mentioned it. should be getting it any day now….

@Samantha_Rae I hope you enjoy it. Best of luck on your journey.

@Samantha_Rae Have you received the book yet? What do you think so far?