My boyfriends parents don't think I should be in love right now, let me explain and tell me what you think?

Listen to his parents.

Is this the first time you’ve been in love? Because everyone thinks the first one is going to be the only one. At this point, you may have only felt that giddy thing for him, and it seems like he will be the only one. I thought so too, when I was 18–19. My husband even went so far to marry the first girl he ever dated, when he was 19, and realized only years later that he’d married far too young.

It’s just one of those things that you learn when you get older, and have more experiences, and look back. You don’t know it now. (Remember middle school? Remember how it seemed like the whole world? And now you’re a lot older and have come far since middle school and you see things aren’t always like that.) It’s the same thing when you’re thirtysomething and look back to the time when you were 19. You go a long way and realize how young you were, but you don’t ever see it at the time. You may also realize that your hormones were poppin’ and that could have contributed to temporary insanity.

However, nothing I say here will matter. ;) You’re 18 and in love, and you will do what you will. It’s called “experience.” And only by messing up and messing around will you someday have a pile of experiences to look back on and realize how young you were once. So have fun. Learn from it. And in a good ten years or so, you’ll realize they were right.

I think you can know what love is at your age. I don’t think I can tell you whether or not you’re in love, that’s more of a personal thing. But I can tell you that my parents got married the month after my mom graduated high school (she was 18 and my dad had just turned 20 at the time) and have been married for 22 years and are still madly in love with each other. Now though that is not usually the case with younger couples.

So I guess what I’m saying to you is I can’t tell you whether your feelings are love or not but that it is very possible and you are definitely able to be in love. Also, I don’t think there is any reason you can’t say that you are. Especially because of your feelings about not disrespecting the word and just throwing it around. My advice to you would just be to be cautious with your feelings but not suppress them =]

I will probably be the only person on Fluther to tell you to make up your own mind. i was 21, my wife was 18, when we married. we both knew what we wanted in life and each other was it. we are still married after all these years. i only wish your boyfriend were a little older and either settled in a great job or going to college. an any event, its your decision….only.

Speaking as someone who was truly, deeply, madly in love when I was 17 and married that boy when I was 18 I say this….They aren’t saying you are too young to be in love, they are saying slow down, if it is true love it, will stand the test of time, meanwhile you and your boyfriend get to know yourselves better and you get to experience a little more life before you make a long term commitment.

BTW, I’m still married to that boy 31 years later but every now and then I regret not having had more individual life experience for the both of us.

Only you know how you really feel. Don’t question it because someone makes you feel like it’s not real or that it’s wrong. If you love him, you love him. Age is nothing but a number.

The heart wants what the heart wants. Anyone telling you that you shouldn’t be in love is about as useful as telling you you shouldn’t have eyes of a certain color.

But what you shouldn’t let it stop you from doing is making any of the plans for your adult life. If all that’s in good shape, you’ll be fine.

My boyfriend is going to college. Just to let you know. He is going in the military. We were in ROTC together for about 4 years. And thank you so very much for all the responses. I really appreciate it. :) I have decided that I will not marry him until later though because I want to know more and more about him, like many of you have said. I learn something new about him and his family each day. :)

@john65pennington has a point. And I’d like to say that young couples like you and your boyfriend aren’t that uncommon, it looks like. My brother and his fiancé have known each other since before they were 16, and they’re getting married (finally!) this July. They’ve been officially engaged for about 3–4 months, unofficially for 4 years, and committed to each other (without telling anyone) for about a year before that.

You can be in love at 18. That doesn’t mean you are prepared to go forward with a relationship. Your writing sounds like you are closer to 14.

I think the problem with young love is that you can change a lot from the time you’re 18. Looking back, I feel like I didn’t really know who I was when I was 18. If you don’t know who you are, how can you tell if you’re in love?

I am 18, honest. I would not lie. I just graduated from high school and I am going to college. I am going to major in Elementary Education.
How does my writing make me sound like I am 14?

Smile05, your writing is perfect, do not change a thing. we need good school teachers. go to college and make us all proud, okay.

Thank you very much john65pennington. And I will, I promise. That is my goal to make people proud and be a great teacher. :)

Even asking this question shows a certain degree of maturity… you are 18, your boyfriend 19, young yes, compared with the years ahead of you but hardly children… it is all well and good to listen to others and to consider their viewpoint but it is your life and you must live it… good luck to you and your boyfriend @Smile05 :)

I married at that age so I might not be the best authority. We had a lot of arguments, and I lost him just after our first anniversary, when our son was a couple of months old.

I would never dismiss either first love or young love. I believe that someone 18-years-old is very capable of loving, and in a way that’s full and lasting.

I’m hoping that your boyfriend’s parents aren’t trying to break up your relationship. Your question clearly tells us all that you’re in that giddy, elated state of love (a wonderful feeling). His parents might simply be telling you to slow down, take some time, and sort through whether what you have is love or infatuation.

Love is a combination drug and happiness pill. Those high, heady feelings that you have—I truly believe that life would be incomplete without them. No matter where this path takes you, I wish you joy and happiness.

You “should not be in love”?

I’m sorry, but you can’t just put a restriction on love. Not to sound corny, but I don’t really think love gives a shit what people say you’re “supposed” to do with it. I’m 18. I love my boyfriend. No one can tell me I “shouldn’t”.

I think its very possible to be in love at 18 however, I’m sure his parents are worried that neither of you have had the chance to explore other romances and they are probably concerned that you guys won’t wait to make your relationship official and marry young. If their son has plans for going away to college, I am sure they are concerned that he may give up his dreams to be with you. If I were you, I would ask them what are their real concerns and all 4 of you sit down and discuss things.
True there are a lot of young relationships that work out but even mature couples have problems making marriage work. You sound like a mature responsible person but I know at 22, I did not think a whole lot like I did at 18. They probably just want you guys to take things slow and grow up a little more before becoming exclusive.
However, I think it possible to be in love at 18. Only remember if you two are meant to be that your relationship can be put on pause till you both can stand on your own two feet and be free to totally support your love without any financial aid from any parent.

I want to thank everyone who has answered so far. You are very nice individuals. I am very appreciative of your responses and respect them all. :) I wish you all to have a very wonderful life and future.