Something that happened in the past, that still makes you laugh?

My sister thought it was a good idea to take the big mirror off the dresser,lean it against the wall,and check her bowling stance.She let go of the ball—snickers—

^^ Lucille sent me this PM once: “I now have proff that I spend too much tiome on th ecomputer!LMAO!”

I thought the typos were so hilarious that I copied it word for word in a text message on my phone and saved it. Whenever I look at it, I crack up.

The big bang…

@Vunessuh -Give me a break! I was just learning to type with my feet! LOL!

Me, ex husband, brother-in-law and little sister riding in a minivan my mom was driving- we’re going down a winding blvd. and my mom lines up the van over two lanes and punches the accelerator. The minivan had vinyl seats so we were sliding back and forth, trying to keep upright when my sister turns around from the front passenger seat and says, “you guys need to learn how to grip with your buttcheeks like I do”. My brother-in-law replied, “no, your mom just needs to pick a lane and stay in it.”

@lucillelucillelucille Well, I saved it because I thought of making you a t-shirt with that on it. I still might do it. Redonkulous. XD

Oh man, way too many to count. A few that come to mind include when my best friend fell in the shower, this face another friend makes where her mouth looks like an anus, and when the same friend does her angry-face-ghetto-dancing, the time my boyfriend and I were sitting together and I thought there was a strangely shaped object in his pocket. I poked it and said “What is this?..... OH” Lawl. Once, my cousin, her roommate and I were trying to take a self-timer photo of ourselves in my brother’s dorm room, and quickly, because we were embarrassed. We were like, “Imagine if someone walked in while we’re doing this” (we were in a frat unit). But we were like “Nah, it’ll be like 2 seconds, no one will come.” Sure enough, right as the camera flashes, my brother walks back in. We collapsed into hysterics. Many others but the humor would be lost in the explanations…

I was just recounting this story to my friend last night:

When I was a sophomore in high school and my friend was a junior, we were sitting in study hall talking about make up. I was new at the whole make up thing so she was pulling her make up out of her purse and putting some on me. One of the things she pulled out was a little container of sparkles. One of the guys at the table behind us was making fun of us for putting on make up in study hall and imitating us. When turned around, my friend took a healthy pinch of the sparkles and sprinkled them into his hair. For the rest of the day, he walked around with sparkles in his hair. :)

A couple of years ago I inadvertently wrote out my check to the IRS on check # 666 with a picture of 3 piglets in a trough. lol

I didn’t notice until I went to record it and couldn’t believe it!

It was just SO perfect, talk about cosmic humor! haha

1st class to hell please. ;-)

I used to work at a university where we had to pay for parking in the lot by our building. Because we were some distance from the official campus, there were a number of side streets where many of us would park to avoid paying to park in the lot.

One day, I parked my truck and went into work. I worked all morning and decided to go out to get something for lunch. I found a note on my truck that said “Nice people don’t park on other people’s leaves.”

I drove to lunch and when I came back I parked in a different spot. I saw that someone else had parked in my prior spot, so I left a note on their car that said, “Be careful, the a-hole who lives here gets squirrelly about people parking on his leaves.” I then went back and worked all afternoon, completely forgetting about the note.

When I left at the end of the day, the car on which I had placed the note was parked in the garage of the house in question.

My sister had a very bad temper. She tripped over a chair, and then turned around and kicked the chair. I laughed all the way to the emergency room with her broken foot.

The double date my best friend and I went on with two Turkish strangers. You will think I’m making this up:
1. The language barrier got us lost (two 17 year old girls) on the way to meet them in downtown Columbus on foot.
2. Pouring rain landed us in an adult toy store (awkward!)
3. We went back to the hotel we were staying in and found them there. They were wearing matching corduroy leisure suits and polyester shirts under with paisley print.
4. When the rain cleared, we went to the movies where they tried to make out with us. It was more hilarious than offensive. Edit: I left this out: When they bought our tickets, they said, “Two tickets for Big Daddy.” Their accents, however, made it sound like they were saying “Big Titty,” which was hilarious to us, the immature high school girls. They took us for pizza and said an Islamic prayer over it really loudly at our table, which was awkward for us. Their driving was atrocious. We were scared for our lives.
5. We went back to the hotel and went to the top floor where there was a view of the city. They separated us and tried to make out with us again.
6. We ran away from them and tried to get on the elevator, but it was stuck with people inside. We ran down at least 20 floors to the desk to rescue the people. Then we ran to our room, where we spent the rest of the night watching Shakespeare in Love and not answering calls from the Turks.
7. Next morning, they were there, waiting for us at breakfast and presented us with gigantic cubic zirconia jewelry.

It was seriously like some episode of Laverne and Shirley. My friend and I love reminiscing about it. There were other hysterical happenings that trip, but the Turkish guys took the cake. I can’t believe her parents let us go out with them!

@ubersiren: I think that may be the best worst date ever.

@ubersiren

OMG! So funny!

I had an experience like that with a Saudi Arabian guy back in the late 70’s.

An influx of foreign students at the state university and well, wow…just wow! haha

This guy and his pal were in hot oursuit of myself and a girlfriend..BUT..I was offered a REAL freaking mind blowing Ruby & Diamond ring….sometimes I wonder what might have become of me had I taken the bait. lol

When my hubby and I were still dating, and I was still living with my parents, he was over and we were all watching television – a documentary on Woodstock. We all got to chatting about different concerts we had been to.

My stepfather (who minutes before had been bragging on his impeccable short-term memory) says, “I’ve been to Alice Cooper… and Alice Cooper, and Rush, and….Alice Cooper.”

To this day, whenever my husband or I repeat something we’ve said already, the response is “Cooper… Cooper… Cooper…”

Well, this is something that is slightly embarrassing but hilarious. I was looking up sex paraphanalia on the Internet for my hubby and me and it got me to thinking about some old vibrators that I had in a drawer in my side table that I was fairly sure I hadn’t seen in a while. I went upstairs and tore my bedroom apart looking for them unsuccessfully. Now I suspected that one of my kids grabbed them and the only one I could think of was my daughter. So I called her upstairs and asked, “Have you taken anything out of my room?” Her reply, “Like what?” Me, not wanting to say anything in case she really didn’t take it, “Anything from my side table?” Her, “Like what?” I start to giggle and start asking the question in increasingly expressive ways. A lightbulb went on for her and she gasps, “Oh! I know what you are talking about!”

It turns out that my youngest son had been rifling through my bedroom looking for candy, which I have to hide because the kids eat it all. He found the vibrators and was sure that I had them because I was about to leave my husband. As I cast back in my memory I remembered a period of time some 6 months before when he kept asking me if I was going to leave my husband. The queries seemed to come out left field. He took the vibrators and hid them on me in an effort to keep us together.

My daughter and I kill ourselves laughing over the whole thing.

My brother use to knock me to the floor by grabbing my arm and sweeping my feet. He did it in a way I wouldn’t get hurt. Then he would say, you need some help getting up and lift me part way and then drop me. Again in a way I wouldn’t get hurt. It was just sooooooo, extremely annoying. When I would yell to my mom that he was bothering me she would just yell back to him to stop. So one day I couldn’t take it anymore and warned my brother he best stop. He said, “oh what your going to do, go cry to mom”, knowing full well nothing would happen to him. So I said, Watch, and walked close to the door of the room she was in and threw myself on the floor. My mom screamed with surprise at what she saw. My brother was behind me so, I told her that he just threw me down on the floor for no reason.
He couldn’t believe his eyes and my mother flew out of the room with rage and proceeded to hit him for throwing his little sister. He tried to tell her that I threw myself and she would not believe him and told him that if he ever laid a hand on me again, he was out the door.
Needless to say he never bugged me again.
He didn’t get mad. He actually thought it was funny that I took it that far and he got the point.
He never knocked me down again. Still cracks me UP!
He so deserved it. Bye the way, it was all the better because he never got in trouble for things he did because he was my moms favorite.
He learned that day that there was a limit to his favoritism.

@Pandora Great story – my two grandsons are going through that right now. When the 1 yo fell yesterday, the 3 yo yelled ” Ha, Ha, J J fell and I didn’t push him”

Onto and embarrassing situation with my sister, and she has had plenty of them. Back in her hay days she went to a lot of banking parties that served alcohol. As she came to learn, she should never drink around people she wants to leave a good impression with. This particular was on a yacht that was touring the Burrard Inlet. She gets drunk and after a while has to go the bathroom which is located directly behind where the skipper steers the boat. As she is pulling up her pants the ocean gives a big heave and she is pitched through the door that she thought she had locked and fell face first with her bare ass in the wind in front of the Captain. He took one look at her and pulled her up by the back of her jacket and then stuffed her back in the bathroom with his foot against the door.

I don’t know how she felt going back to work the next day, but it couldn’t have been comfortable.

When my sister and I were little (I am 7 years her senior), I would pin her to her bed and tell her to “touch the wall.” This caused her to lift her arms above her head and I would tickle her without mercy. Sometimes I wouldn’t tickle her just to get her to lift her arms and I would do it again.

Many, many, many years later, she went to Beauty School to learn to cut hair. I was very pleased to be her first official customer. She had my head back in the bowl to shampoo it and the water was only lukewarm. When I pointed this out, she adjusted the water—to freezing #*&$@ cold. I mentioned that it was unpleasantly cold and she put her face inches away from mine and said, “touch the wall.” We both burst out laughing.

oh my god. i am laughing hysterically just thinking about this. in high school my two friends, adam and ross, and i would sit in the back of adams car in a well lit parking lot and get really high, which didn’t require much smoking since we had no tolerance at that point. anyhow, looking back, we were in the worst possible location and were pretty stupid. BUT. this one night. we were going about our business as usual, and adam suddenly realized that his hand was stuck in the last position it was in, which was holding the bowl. it was crumpled up kind of like it was clutching something. he said he had no control over it. we died laughing. for the next 2 or 3 hours it very gradually unfolded itself. i literally laughed for 2 hours, on and off but pretty consistently. a few weeks later after we smoked he went mute for about 10 minutes. that actually worried me, but still warranted a lot of laughter during and after the fact.

THIS is an old school cell phone photo of the hand DURING the calamity. i have tears of laughter in my eyes just looking at it.

Way too many years ago to count, my sister and I were at a Saturday night rollerskating function in our small town that was hosted once a month by our church along with a few other churches. The entire idea was to give teens a place to go and not get into trouble. Our parents were always very active in this; my mom sold candy and my dad gave out the roller skates.
A guy that my sister and I noticed was dressed in a manner that did not meet our snooty childish standards. He wore black peg legs, was all skinny and had a beard. Kinda scruffy looking and very quiet. He also was a loner and a bit awkward. He began to slip while wearing his skates. He windmilled and flailed like a cartoon. We laughed and watched. He continued to flail and absolutely refused to fall. His skate clad feet kept slipping forward and backward, his arms kept windmilling, he had a panic look on his face but he never cried out. My sister and I were holding each other up because we were laughing so hard. This seemed to go on forever, but probably lasted about two or three minutes. He went partially down into a rubber garbage can at one point for an instant, then went right back to slipping and sliding and windmilling. When he finally hit the floor it was grand and anti-climactic at the same time. We were kind of disappointed, but must be forgiven for our heartlessness because we were very young.
Now here’s the really funny part. At the end of the evening we were cleaning up, and my dad mentioned that there was a returnable bottle missing. That guy just happened to overhear and said “I know where it is!” He went to the garbage can and pulled out a bottle, sure enough. He said “I saw this earlier when I fell in here.”
My sister and I laughed for days.

@Trillian Brilliant description! I felt like I was there with you, and it was glorious.

The day I called myself testing out a motorized scooter (like a hover-round). I had know idea those things moved so fast. Damn thing took off like a bat out of hell. Luckily there were a bunch of boxes in front of the brick wall because that’s just where I ended up.

@deni LMAO. That’s just too funny.

When i heard the joke “iron man is a hero,iron woman is a command”
ok it was only like last week but it still cracks me up!

I remember a drunk video my best friend and I made when I was going through the break up with my ex-husband…there is no end to funny in that video and I am sorry I can’t share it with ya’ll – he’d kill me…let’s just say it’s the only time anyone’s captured me drunk…

I also laugh when thinking about Alex’s rendition of a vomiting person that looks and sounds like a fire exuding dragon, hahahahh

I still laugh when I think about once I drove right up to the steps of a state capitol building on a sidewalk. I honestly thought the sidewalk was a driving circle. The cops just didn’t even know what to say. This was before 911 when terrorism wasn’t everyone’s first thought, so they eventually cracked a smile and stopped traffic so I could get back into the street.

The first time I had shot someone.

@ChaosCross was it in Reno?

Oh my God, these are hysterical!

I don’t know what story to tell! My kids always star in my crazy stories here on Fluther, so I’ll leave them out of this one!

My junior year of college, I had a suite in the basement of one of the dorms with this crazy roommate who moved out and left me with the entire room to myself. Of the other five suites in that hallway, four of the rooms belonged to really good friends of mine. The fifth room belonged to these two ultra-conservative Evangelical girls that hated the rest of us. Once a week, they would hang signs on all of our doors inviting us to their Bible study. They never spoke to us except to say, “You should come to our Bible study this week!” One day my best friend snapped. She came into my room to vent, and we hatched a plot to stop the Bible study flyers on all of our doors. We made up a bunch of posters inviting people to our Satan Worship Group and hung three of them on the Bible girls’ door. They stopped inviting us to their Bible study.

Another time, we plotted against one of the guys who had a suite in our hallway. He’d gotten a girlfriend that we didn’t approve of (you know, because she wasn’t one of us!) and wasn’t spending as much time hanging out with us. One day when he was in class, my best friend and I got together with this guy’s roommate and moved all of his furniture out to the hallway. We even hung his pictures up on the wall and everything. When he came back from class, we were all peeking out of our doorways, trying so hard not to laugh out loud we were crying. He hardly even hesitated, just dropped his backpack, kicked off his shoes, and stretched out on the bed. Then he yelled, “You know you assholes are moving all this shit back and I’m not helping!”

OK, last one! Same year of college, same group of crazy friends. One of the guys, for some reason, was going around asking everyone, “Would you fuck a monkey for a million bucks?” Another friend of our said, “Hell yeah, for a million bucks I’d even give him the old reach around!”

My son pronouncing melancholy, “mel-anch-oh-lee”.

so cute…teeheehee

About 1 week ago I met a girl who I discovered is pretty much like me and we get together well.Everything was going well until 3 days ago when one of my friend(which is a girl too) came to us and she saw us together since than my friend acted very weird and I tried 2 days to talk to her and find what’s going on.She finally told me yesterday that she likes very much a guy and the guy spent a few days in a vacation with the girl and she saw them and she is very nervous because she didn’t get the chance to remain alone with the guy.
This explanation was a little bit weird and it still didn’t explain me why she acted like that when I’m with that girl.
Yesterday evening I went out with my friend but the girl showed up too.And both girls remained there and my friend started to pick up on the new girl and the new girl was feeling very stupid,and she was very sad so she started to pick on friends of my friend.
I was trying to make the girl feel a little better so I spend a few more time with her and this made my friend upset.
So I spent 3 hours of my life like that watching those two girls fighting for nothing(the girl wasn’t interested in that guy).In a strange way I was the motive(I think).Everything become even worse when the guy showed up and he went to the girl and not to my friend.
THat was the moment when everything ended and my friend went home.
All this was a little bit to much for me because I wasn’t a very social person I hardly have 3 friends and yesterday I saw more socialization than ever in my life.
When Everybody went home and I remained just with my friend(A guy) I just broke and I started to laugh like a crazy man for 1 hour and after that I went home where I kept laughing,thinking at how stupid can human relations and humans in general be.

One time, my mother and I were in the grocery store at the fruit salad bare. My mom was loading up one of those containers with fruit and there were three or four teenage boys in the vicinity who were obviously baked out of their minds. In the fruit salad bar was something that looked to be a cold apple crumble. One of the boys broke of from the group and came up to my mother. He pointed at this thing and asked her, “What’s that!?” My mom looked at him and wasn’t quite sure how to react so she just answered his question, “I’m not sure, I think it’s apple crumble.” The boy looked a little dumbfounded, then he nodded and said, “Oh, thank you!” and nodded profusely. My mom said, “You’re welcome,” in her best talking-to-an-earnest-little-kid voice. The guy ran back to his stoned friends and gestured to the fruit salad bar saying, “It’s apple crumble guys!”

What got me most about this exchange was how polite this kid was and how my mom acted like stoned teenagers always asked her about food.

Years ago I played in a band and at one concert, the governor of our state happened to be there with his wife and another couple. Being in the band, we were introduced to the gov and to the other couple—the husband of the couple happened to be Calvin Hill (of Dallas Cowboys fame). They talked about their son Grant Hill (who was then in about 8th grade or so). He and his wife were very gracious and bought our album and gave us some leads about performing in their home area.

Some time later I was in Texas with my Texas cousins and I told them about meeting Calvin Hill. You know how something is in your own head a certain way that you don’t really think about it from another view point? Well, my cousins asked if I got his autograph. Without even thinking, I replied, “No, but he got mine.” Dumb-founded doesn’t even begin to describe their facial expressions at the stupidity of Calvin Hill asking for my autograph and my abject failure to ask for his . . .

@KatawaGrey haahahahhhahhahahahhaha!!!!! stoners are funny.

I thought of a couple more. :)

After my college graduation, but before I left campus, I went out with my two best friends. We hadn’t had a lot to drink, but we’d had a lot to, um, smoke. Driving back to our apartment in the middle of the night, no other traffic in sight, I stopped at an intersection and waited. And waited. silence in the car After a while, one of my friends said to me, “It’s a stop sign. It’s not going to turn green.” I think we laughed about that for a few hours until we passed out. Disclaimer: Do not drive under the influence. It’s bad bad bad.

This one does involve one of my kids. Our daughter was maybe two years old, and my husband took her along when running some errands. He stopped at a deli to grab something to eat, and as he was standing in a long line at the crowded deli, our daughter loudly said to him, “Daddy, you don’t have a penis!” Everyone turned to look and people were cracking up. Whenever he tells that story, I still tear up from laughing.

@MissAusten: Hahaha, little kids say the best things.

Oh oh! This isn’t my own personal story (it’s my husband’s), but it’s one of those that the family tells every time we get together, and we all laugh our asses off.

My husband’s grandfather is a WWII veteran. He’s 6½ feet tall. The cops of his home town used to call him to help settle bar fights. At 89 years old, STILL no one wants to scrap with him.

When my husband was about three years old, at a family dinner with everyone around, Grandpa was giving his general crotchety grandpa hassling to his only grandson (I won’t give quotes, suffice it to say it was 1973 and political correctness didn’t exist yet), and Jason had had enough.
He grabbed Grandpa by the shirt collar, pointed at his nose and said “Grandpa, you’re an asshole.”

Someone on a greyhound bus somewhere in Alabama about 25 years ago asked me: Do you have cars in Germany?

@mattbrowne Well, do you? :)

Years ago my ex husband who was more than a little toasted while out for chinese dinner looked at the receipt and exclaimed….

” Chung Du, we didn’t order anything called Chung Du ”

I take the receipt from him and realize he is reading the the part that says ’ Chg. Due”

OMG! lol

Needless to say with the rift in intellect and his drinking habits…it was only a matter of time until I showed him the door. lol

@perspicacious – Well, we got horses and painted Mercedes logos on them. Now people think they are cars. Don’t tell anyone.

@mattbrowne OK. You Germans are very industrious.

me and my classmates went to a school trip, and we wanted to swim in the hotel’s pool, but when we got there, they told us that we were supposed to just stay in our rooms and be quiet. but there was also a fountain at the hotel :p and we swam in there. and then we ran in the garden and our shoes were all covered in mud (I think the guy who had to clean up the hotel after we made everything a mess, still hates us)
and that day my friend lost his glasses and we had to search for them and it was funny because my friend was walking around without his glasses and he couldn’t see anything. I think he fell on a tree, or something like that