What's a nonsensical/funny rhyme you heard as a child that you remember with fondness?

Sticks and stones may break my bones and it really hurts when monkeys fly out my butt!!

We used to sing that all the time in school but after my parents had a ‘special meeting’ with the principal they made me promise to stop.

Old television advertisements.

Just like the boy in the movie Equus (1977).

Not really a nursery rhyme but my third grade teacher taught us “I ate and ate till I threw up on the floor because 8 times 8 is 64.”

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
His name is my name, too.
Whenever we go out
The people always shout,
“There goes Gail Finkel Wald and Milo pere.”
Da Da de da da da da da du.

The Teddy Bears picnic “When you go out into the woods today…..” I found the song fascinating and a little scary when I was very young. I remember it, now, with my all too frequent encounters with bears.

DIAL, dial, DIAL Chevrolet
TWO BLOCKS off the SANTA ANA freeway
1–1-9–8-0 EAST Firestone
DIAL Chevrolet!
Boing boiiiig

Itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout.
Down came the rain and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain,
so the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again.

Yesterday upon the stair I saw a man who wasn’t there. He wasn’t there again today. Gee I wish he’d go away.

Mares eat oats and does eat oats, and little lambs eat ivy,
a kid’ll eat ivy too, wouldn’t you.

This Old Man

Here’s a parody of This Old Man ^^, w. the same tune and called All Gall (sung in three parts) by Michael Flanders and Donald Swann, the British satirists.

All Gall

Vive de Gaulle!

This old man, he played one,
He played knick-knack at Verdun.
Cognac, Armagnac, Burgundy and Beaune,
This old man came rolling home.

This old man, World War Two,
He told Churchill what to do,
Free French general, crosses of Lorraine,
He came rolling home again.

This old man, he played trois,
Vive la France, la France c’est moi!
Gimcrack governments, call me if you please:
Colombey les deux Eglises.

This old man, he played four,
Choose de Gaulle or civil war!
Come back president, govern by decree,
Referendum, oui, oui, oui!

This old man, he played five,
France is safe: I’m still alive.
Plastique, Pompidou, sing the Marseillaise,
Algerie, n’est pas francaise!

This old man, he played six,
France and England, they don’t mix.
Eytie, Benelux, Germany, and Me:
that’s my market recipe.

This old man, sept et huit,
NATO give me back my fleet!
kiss kiss Adenauer ratified in Bonn.
One old man goes on and on.

This old man, nine and ten,
He’ll play knick till God knows when,
Cognac, Armagnac, Burgundy and Beaune,
This old man thinks he’s Saint Joan.

When you’re climbing up the ladder and you feel something splatter,
Diarrhea. Diarrhea.

When your stomach hurts,
and you know you’ve got the squirts,
Diarrhea. Diarrhea. (cha-cha-cha!)

If you’re looking for some birds and you squish out watery turds,
Diarrhea. Diarrhea.

Etc, etc.

Lol! I just found This for any immature people like me who enjoy this silly song.

@ubersiren: Melody, please. (My young great-nephews will love this.)

Abort mission. I found it.

Kind of like Eeney Meaney Miney Moe, used for selecting who is it:

Your mother and my mother were hanging out clothes, your mother socked my mother right in the nose. What color was the blood? [the kid you end up pointing at names a color—green for example].
G-R-E-E-N and you are it!