How do you handle heart break?

This is one of the good reasons to continue to have hobbies and friends while in a relationship. If the person is no longer there you can focus more on hanging out with people and doing those hobbies. It takes your mind off of it. Also, thinking about your existence as being grander than the small world that you have created with this one person helps. This perspective helps you realize that while they were important to you they were not everything.

I wish an OP could assign background music to go with the post. This one would be AWESOME!

First off, you have to suck-it-up. Don’t ever show your man this wobbly side. Have courage and strength because more than likely that is what he wants. Second, you sound like you’re sabotaging yourself with all this talk about heartbreak.

No matter what happens remember this truth: There is only one way to get over someone: to find someone better.

Be the strong, smart, funny gal that will stop him in his tracks – someone whom he will never top! Women have given me just exactly that lasting impression just with a look.

There is no such thing as “handle” an severe emotional trama. You simply exist long enough for it to fade into the background of every day life, as it inevitably will.

Don’t take this the wrong way, but consider the possibility that you call intensity and love the same thing.

I don’t mean to sound like a scold for you posting your question, but what it feels like you’re saying is that possibly you don’t know the difference or maybe you have some issues with making too much out of your relationships. You have said yourself that it’s too hard for you to deal with, and right now it seems you are wracked with worry over an imaginary problem.

Before asking how to get over such an event, ask yourself whether your responses are grounded and whether they are healthy. If not, maybe they need to be picked apart with a therapist or someone else who gives good relationship advice, so that you can see how this response possibly doesn’t work for you and so that you can practice a different response.

As someone who has fallen hard and in love rather easily in the past, I can say that there is something to be said for a little bit of cool detachment and added focus on the other things that keep one’s life stable.

There is no use sitting here and wondering “what if?”. Worrying doesn’t do you any good. All it does is cause unnecessary anxiety; worry does nothing to actually prepare you for dealing with the problem, and it sure as hell won’t prevent it. You’re just turning yourself into a nervous wreck about something that hasn’t even happened and isn’t guaranteed to, either. Focusing too much on the possible demise of the relationship could lead to you behaving in insecure ways, and then he may very well want to leave you!

It’s perfectly normal to have feelings of devastation tied to thoughts of your lover leaving, but it’s not healthy to obsess over the possibility. How do you expect to actually enjoy the relationship while it lasts if you’re too worried about it ending? It may or may not last forever—you can’t know that now, but what you can do is savor your time with him. Just be glad you found someone that special. Live in the present with him. Don’t let your anxiety get in the way of your happiness. It will eat away at you, and eventually, your relationship.

You’d be hurt, but you’d get over it just like you have in the past, and you’d find someone better, just like you have in the past. You have survived before and ended up in a better place. If that were to happen again, you would survive, and again end up in a better place. You just have to take what life throws at you and embrace it. If you ever break up, don’t look at it as the end of your life, but the beginning of a much more interesting new chapter that you are lucky to experience. And make sure to eat lots of wine, cheese, and ice cream as you watch the movie French Kiss.

“He makes me so happy…”

No he doesn’t. He’s not in control of your feelings. You are. You choose to be happy with him, but it’s your choice.

You sound very very clingy. That’s a real turn off. I highly recommend becoming your own person. That is attractive. Give him space and learn to be comfortable with yourself.

Stop worrying about being with the right person. Concentrate more on becoming the right person.

Oh, and how do I handle heartbreak?

Well, I allow people be who they are without any insistence that they satisfy me.

Alcohol.

Are you sure you’re 25? I ask, not because heartbreak is not miserable, but because you are worrying about something that hasn’t happened. So, the answer is, yes heartbreak is miserable. Yes, we all are devastated when it happens, if we aren’t we were not in love. Is it a risk to become involved in a relationship, yes. If you don’t take the risk, you will never know. Can you ruin the relationship with your worrying? Yes. Don’t do that.

If you feel like your relationships end badly all the time, then perhaps you need to explore counseling to help you understand your patterns in relationships, and what you can do to be an emotionally healthy partner in this relationship. Putting the burden of your emotional well-being on the person you’re dating is a sure way to bring most relationships to an end. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness.

Time heals heartbreaks.

Duct tape for the soul: don’tcha wish?

It sounds like you want some of that to put in your tool kit. Interesting thing. Why would you want a tool kit for heartbreak? Do you think you’re going to need it? Do you already have that sinking feeling? Are you depressed? Or have you been depressed in the past? Do you believe nothing lasts when it comes to relationships? Abandonment fears?

I’m not sure there’s a thing you can do. Sure keeping busy and having friends to be with all the time can help. Maybe a rebound relationship takes the edge off it. But I think there’s nothing that will really change how you feel if you break up.

Maybe you could do the zen thing, which would require you to practice meditation and yoga and maybe other ze practices. It would help you treat your feelings as just feelings—things you don’t have to think of as you. They’re there, but they don’t rule your life.

You feel what you feel, and I think you should feel it; not try to not feel it. Feel it fully. Let yourself go, and then let the feelings go.

I don’t think you can protect yourself. Except maybe by putting yourself fully into this relationship instead of withdrawing. Make this relationship work. If there are problems, work on them with your partner. Even get counseling. The moment is here. Now. Focusing on the future that may or may not happen makes you lose what you have, in more ways than one. Stop it!

Be here now!

You can only handle it one day at a time. One step forward each day.
But it hasn’t happened, so enjoy your time together instead of worrying ‘what if’.

The problem that I see…is this…..

If you are happy and content with this man…but you worry about losing him…there is a bit of desperation that creeps in…and he will notice this. If you are anxiously awaiting his call, worried that he might cancel a date, thinking that he is at work with that cute secretary, or hoping that he might ask you out early for Friday….and all you do is worry…then he will somehow know this from your unspoken words.

What to do? Keep going out with your own friends. Don’t make him the center of your universe as that scares men away. Don’t ask him about the future as he may head for the hills. If you can….

Love him with your heart and your hand open not grasping at him.

He cannot ever make you feel secure….or give you everything you need…no man can do that. You must find the security within yourself…when you do that…he will naturally gravitate and stay (usually). But if you grasp…he will run.

A really big bon-fire of all memorabilia worked for me plus I would buy myself a nice “toy” I have wanted, usually a new effect pedal for my guitar and jam….happy again in no time!

Sleep

@missjena

Well, I wish that I’d been fluthering at 25…life could’ve been easier! So, what are you going to do with this wealth of information?