If you were an alien watching Earth from space, what would make you go "dude, what's up with that?"?

Why do they look like us? They’re supposed to be aliens!

Reality tv.

@TooBlue They don’t look like us, they’re looking at us, studying what we do.

@Trillian beat me to the reality TV answer so I would then go “wow” over the wanton pollution and destruction of our natural resources.

Fuckin’ BP spilling fuckin’ tons of oil into the Gulf every day and not being able to stop it. (Pardon my language but it really pisses me off.)

My mom always used to say that she thought aliens would be fascinated by traffic lights because other than the lights which are way above us and change at seemingly random intervals there is no indication as to when cars should stop and go.

@janbb So they are up there saying “wow, we don’t have to destroy earth, the earthlings are destroying it themselves.”

Skinny jeans on guys.I would never want to invade earth…or anything else.Ever.
So,there!;)

@bob Yes I know. And the aliens would think it’s weird that we look like them. Wtf? Y’know?

@TooBlue Ah, gotcha.

@Cruiser Won ton pollution? With crab meat? Is there a big pile of them somewhere?
Oh, wanton. Never mind.

@lucillelucillelucille Is that an alien gun in my suit, or am I just happy to see you?

@Trillian Now I am hungry for Chinese! Take out for lunch anybody??

They’d be really squicked at all the alien anal-probe stories.

“Hey, Kang, did you see this one?”
“EEWWW!!! They really think we get off on THAT?!”

Hey honey, where is that cookbook?

We are already doing it. What do we look for? Resources.

@bob-Hard to tell from this distance!LOL

FEAR NOT HUMANS

We’ve only come to watch. And I must say, it was well worth the trip. Destroying the earth would be like you destroying your television or canceling your fluther account. It’s a fun addiction.

Please, continue as usual with your wayward tomfoolery. Your monkey business is quite entertaining, and makes for a pleasant diversion while we travel to Zeneble Ganoobe.
____________________

You could probably charge a pretty penny for the show.

Sarah Jessica Parker, whoa there girl, giddyup.
Donald Trump’s hair, my lil pony.
Sci Fi movies, yeah right whatever, perleeeze.

“How to Cook Forty Humans” anyone?

If there’s an intelligence that’s capable of even getting to us to look at Earth, they would probably watch us the way a layperson does ants; a cursory, almost indifferent observation.

I don’t think, in the grand scheme of things, that we’re all that interesting except to ourselves.

@aprilsimnel And not even then sometimes.

Boxing matches, Twinkies, and Carrot Top.

—Praying
—Fireworks
—No dinosaurs
—Dildos
—Our fuel sources

“What’s with all this Farmville and World of Warcraft?”

Also… “What the f*$k is Twitter?”

Religion, wars, obesity, poverty, environmental destruction, political bickering, you still using fossil fuels.

@jfos just out of curiosity, why dildos? Are you implying that any alien life form that would come here is advanced past the need for sexual gratification? Because the reports of anal probes would seem to indicate otherwise. ;-)

That’s not sex. We’re trying desperately to communicate with you humans. It has come to our attention that you typically talk out of your ass.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Well, next time, give me a reach around. Damn stupid aliens, stop taking your lessons from men if you want to learn anything useful!

It’s really hard to say, since I can’t quite imagine what surprise would be through a mentality other than my own, or at the very least, a human one.

The flotilla on the ocean made up of garbage supposedly the size of Texas.

@Neizvestnaya: Perhaps Texas itself would surprise aliens as much? ~

@KatawaGrey: How many sightings have been reported by Texans compared to elsewhere in the country?

Going to work to sit at a desk in front of a computer to pay for a house we are rarely in because we are spending most of our time at work paying for it…

* hmph *

@Trillian You’ll know why if you watch this. It’s about 5 minutes long, but it’s definitely worth the wait.

@Symbeline Okay, so what are some weird things, according to you?

What we aliens cannot seem to understand about humans is this thing you call lying. We’ve seen you do it to others of your own species. And most odd, you even do it to yourselves. As intelligent as we are, your lying is most peculiar to us. We cannot begin to fathom what purpose it serves. Of all the wonders of the universe, of all the vast and beautiful mysteries in the cosmos, we’ve never witnessed anything more dysfunctional than human lying.

@bob_ Passing the wine bottle. I don’t get why like, when you go to parties, family gatherings and the like, people always inspect the wine. Seriously. There’s always a bottle of wine. And at least everyone is going to handle it, look at the label, read what it says, check the year and all…then they go, yup, that’s some mighty fine wine.
Thing is, like they say this as if they’re some kind of epic wine connoisseur, and the truth is, they probably don’t know the first thing about wine anymore than your average shmoe, and whatever the case, they’re still gonna drink it anyway, no matter what it says on there, what house or castle it’s from and all. I mean, WHY do people do that? Why? I don’t get it.
Is it like, some kinda obligatory social practise, like talking about the weather to a stranger waiting for the bus? You don’t have to tell me that man some cold day today ain’t it missy. It’s like, I’m out here, I KNOW it’s cold. Or like, at the same bus stop, with the same person who, outta nowhere, will go, so did the bus go by yet?
Seriously, what? If it did, would I be standing here?

Yeah, I got nuthin.

@Symbeline Dude. Totes agree on the wine thing. Stupid posers testing the booze. It’s booze! Just drink it, damn it! You think aliens will come to Earth, capture a bunch of people, then try someone’s arm first to see what it tastes like? Nuh-uh! Ugh!

”You think aliens will come to Earth, capture a bunch of people, then try someone’s arm first to see what it tastes like?”
As the meat connaisseurs de la viande if the universe, we practically do nothing else.

LOL

I could probably think of a few things if i sat here long enough, but i just had to laugh at this post for now. :D

@NaturallyMe I’m all about the giggles.

Also, you laugh, you make me a sandwich. Yep, that’s the ticket. Easy on the lettuce.

@bob_
Sure she will make you a sandwich. With ham made from human children. Hmmmmm….

@ragingloli They actually have that. It’s called bologna.

@ragingloli – They’ll probably bring a cookbook.

@bob_ – sure bob_! As long as you’re buying and i can make myself one too and you’re cleaning up afterwards, i’ll make you my best darn sandwich i ever did make.

@NaturallyMe Uh, you know, I’m not that hungry.

@bob_ Dammit bob_! Well i’m hungry now. I was fantasizing about the kick ass sandwich i was gonna make you. I’m going to have to make some dinner soon.

SpaceDonald’s; 20,000 billion humans served.

Alien – “Time to reveal ourselves. They are ready. They have accepted Lady Gaga.”