He decided he wants to be "just friends" but still wants money?

Well, Sorry if the answer doesn’t help you anything, but I am tried by best. i m 15

I think he’s using you because of your money, You should Just let him go….I mean you are pregnant so I think that the baby comes first than bf right?:O
Maybe you could try to find yourself a job and then start saving up for the baby and stuff, is this your first bay?

He’s definitely using you.
That money belongs to you and your child. Not him.
And I’m actually rather disgusted that he thinks it’s okay to take money from you when he knows you’re pregnant and just lost your job. That tells me that he doesn’t respect you. At all.

You need to cut him off. What kind of a man takes money from a woman who’s only several months away from having a child? That’s not a man.
If he loves you as much as he says he does, tell him to get a job so he can start paying you back. If he won’t, then cut him out of your life completely because this child is more important than he’ll ever be.

If you do find another way to make some money, whether it be another job or help from a family member or friend, don’t give any of it to him.

Good luck, hon.

It’s very simple, yet it took me years to learn. You can love someone, but not be “in love” with them. Since this is the way your guy seems to feel, let go of him.

Any money that you have right now needs to be for the baby and a good lawyer. If you are in the US, it is illegal to fire someone on the basis of being pregnant, and the company should be sued. You will also need the lawyer’s service if you plan on getting any child support. (I am assuming that this man is the baby’s father.)

I understand you love him, but he is most certainly using you.
Try testing his love for you and explain that whatever money you have must to towards baby items that you need.
If he truly loves you then he will understand your predicament, and not ask again.
If he continues asking for money, then I would say move on and focus your attention on your pregnancy. I wish you well

Sweetie, you’ve helped enough, from now on, take care of yourself and your little baby. Let him stand on his feet, otherwise you will always have him glued onto you sucking money out of you. If he really loves you as he claims, he will wake up and stand by you and not simply lean on you till you drop! Good luck, focus on you and the angel inside you and start working on putting him out of your life if he goes on like that!

He loves your money and not you! He already made that pretty clear 2 weeks ago when he said let’s be friends. Cut the dead beat loose as any dollar you can have access to should be set aside for your child…PERIOD! Tell “Sponge Bob” to go sponge off someone else!

@Cruiser Blunt but true GA :-)

Stop giving the bum money. You and your baby need it. You don’t have it to give. If he cared at all about you and the baby, he would work 3 jobs trying to support you. He is free loading and you are just giving him a reason to free load. I realize you think if you give him money, he will stick around, that it’s going to be hard and scary to have a baby on your own, but you don’t need this user. You need to save every dime you have now for when the baby gets here to buy its food and clothes. Tell the bum that.

He is using you.

tell him to take a long walk on a short pier!

You need to think of your baby first. All of your resources need to go to support the baby. You have no money to give him.

You do not say if he is the baby’s father. If he is, then he needs to paln to get a job. When he calls to ask for money, ask him if he has gotten a job so that he can provide child support.

This guy does not love you. If he loved you, he would not “just want to be friends.”

You need to rally round for the real love of your life: your baby.

This is a bit of a long story, but there is relevance to your post.

One of my best friends was in a similar situation, although she didn’t have 9 months to prepare for the arrival of her child. After breaking off a 3-year relationship with a man who finagled $45,000 from her over time (and yes, she was crazy enough to give it to him), she had given up on men. Her thoughts turned to artificial insemination in order to have the child she always dreamed of.

2–3 weeks later, a fellow co-worker called her to ask her if she knew of anyone who wanted a baby. Apparently, a young girl and her husband staying in the hotel where they work had inquired where the local fire dept. was, as they wanted to drop off their infant daughter there. Kim immediately went to the hotel, talked to the parents, and took the baby girl home for the night on the agreement that it was just to give the parent’s a break until they could think about the situation rationally.

Long story made short…the parents decided to hand over custody. 6 months later, while in court for the final hearing, the judge asked Kim: “You are a single woman. Won’t this have an impact on your social life?” Kim’s response: “Yes, it will. Now that I have Chloe, I will be much more selective on who I go out with.” And with that, the adoption was finalized.

The point is, as many people have already pointed out, put your baby and yourself before this man.

Look at where his priorities are. They are on himself. He isn’t getting a job and getting things for the baby, he’s worrying about taking money from you (and your child) to get himself things. Is that really the person you want to be with?

It’s time to really start preparing for the baby and there are going to be a lot of things you need (if you don’t already have them). He’s going to need to get a job and start paying child support. Whatever you do, do not let him weasel his way out of it.

You’re 7 months pregnant, no job, and you worry about not “being there” for him? Who’s there for you and your child?

Sure, he wants to be just friends—with an ATM machine. The money you give him is either going on partying or another woman. You’re enabling him by giving him money. Who’s going to support your child?

No. Don’t give this fellow another dime. He tells you what you want to hear so that he can get what he wants from you. How on Earth does this dude not have the common sense to realize that the baby comes first – unless he’s a selfish person! Do you really need this in your life? With a baby coming and no work? How long would you let him do this to you? Long enough for the child to learn that taking care of selfish freeloaders = love?

Believe it or not, A) you deserve better, B) there’s nothing wrong with being alone for a while while you get yourself together, and C) you must love yourself first. Situations like yours are what happens when we look too often outside ourselves for validation and emotional support. You have to be that bedrock for yourself. And now, you have to learn how to emotionally take care of yourself so you can be that foundation for your child. The baby comes first. But if there was no baby, I’d tell you that you come first. Not him.

As for getting fired because of your pregnancy, that’s illegal, but I bet your ex-bosses knew you wouldn’t put up a fuss and would accommodate them, just like you did with this man, and that’s why they did it. They didn’t care about you, either, see? It’s a pattern. You must stop it! Prove all these people wrong and show them you have some self-respect. I hope you have proof of why they fired you so you can sue!

Sounds as if this fellow wants to exploit you.

Go back and read your question’s description and pretend that someone else wrote it. Craft an answer.

Deep down you must know this guy is a dead beat who is robbing his own child. He’s not robbing from you, as you’re giving yourself and your money to him of your own free will.

End the cycle of insane behavior. Now. You need to find strength within yourself to take care of both yourself and that precious little baby, who has done nothing to provoke the situation.

Write your friend off except for child support, which I suspect he will avoid, even if he should get a job.

Find a lawyer, perhaps through the Legal Aid Society (or whatever exists for folks in your predicament) and see what can be done regarding your firing.

Think about what you’re going to do to build a foundation for a good life with your child.

First, he hasn’t stuck by you 100%, he hasn’t stuck by you at all. He ditched you, you just don’t want to admit it.You are giving him money so you can continue to claim “he has stuck by me 100%” you aren’t fooling anyone, not even yourself. On some level you know this is true or this question wouldn’t have been asked. As long as I live I’ll never understand women who allow men to wipe their butts on them without so much as a by your leave.

Wow… that’s crazy. You’re pregnant with his child and you’re out of a job- he should be giving you money. Even if you’re “just friends,” he has a responsibility toward the future child. You’ll definitely have to take this dude to court if you ever want child support payments. Anyway, this guy is presumably an adult, so people like his mother or his pregnant unemployed “just friend” shouldn’t need to be there for him financially.

@Haeth and a few others, including me. It is implied that the boyfriend/now friend is the father of the baby. This hasn’t been confirmed by heartonsleeve.

He is father of baby. I don’t want a sexual relationship with him at the moment with the way he treats me. But I do have a hard time leaving him as a friend, because everyone in his life has bailed on him. But thinking about it they probably bailed because he’s done them the same way. I agree with you all and I’ve always been a strong woman, but for some reason I’m having a hard time being that strong woman in this instance. This isn’t my first child I have a 6 year old daughter as well. Her daddy is helping me and my parents are helping me get by. Her daddy is always there for me through thick and thin. I know I need to drop this other guy and stick with my daughter’s daddy. Daughter’s daddy wants to be here for me and my unborn child no matter what. I just need the courage to stand up to the other one and distance myself from him. Any suggestions on how to do that and make it easier on me?

If you stop giving him money, your problem of how to distance yourself from him is solved. You will never hear from him again, guaranteed.

Take the guy to court for child support. The money you’re giving this deadbeat is the money that should be going to your household and your two children. You say you have a hard time leaving him because everyone in his life has bailed on him. Why would that be? maybe he used them too. Either way, if everyone in his life has bailed on him that’s not your problem. Your problem is supporting your family, and you cannot do it while you hand him money. He is exploiting your love for him. I would drop him like a hot potato. With a friend like that who needs enemies? There are probably a lot of men in the world that will say they love you if you hand them money, and cry this bullshit that everyone in their life has left them, waaahh, waahhh, waahh.