Where are my glasses, dammit?

With Supermouse’s keys?

My son is constantly losing his goggles at the pool. He just puts them down, and then they walk off. Probably not by themselves. People seem to feel that if it’s on the ground and no one is around, then the owner didn’t want it.

You don’t have any strange people in bathing suits wandering around, I suppose? No? Then how about wandering editors? Well, it was worth a shot. ;-)

You did check inside the case, right? (Kidding, kidding!) :)

What about the bathroom? In a drawer? The fridge? The floor (front, back and sides) around the desk?

I usually find mine on my dresser, or in the bathroom. That’s all I’ve got! hope you find them! It kills me when I can’t find mine

Did you check your pockets? That’s how I lose my debit card all the time and how I lost my cell phone.

After you’ve looked in all the logical places, it always makes sense to start looking in illogical places. Once you find (or replace) them, consider putting them on a lanyard around your neck.

Sorry about that. * hands them back, thinks, hands your purse back*

Seriously, how about around the chair where you usually read? Maybe they slipped around the cushion?

They will obviously be in the last place you look.

Have you checked your bed? My dad falls asleep with his glasses on in bed and loses them under a pillow or stuck in the sheets.
But there has been times when he has lost his glasses, and left them on his head.

Dammit. This is getting serious. I mean it.

@chyna, Harp was probably right about the keys. And you may be right about the glasses.
@envidula61, no strange wanderers other than my husband, and we are both senior enough never to do such a thing to each other on purpose, even in fun.
@DrasticDreamer, no idea is too dumb. I have no pride left after having looked in the wastebasket and the freezer (twice). Unfortunately the case is gone too. I sincerely hope they are in it.
@casheroo, checked the dressers and the bathrooms. And all my desk drawers and cubbies and bookshelves.
@py_sue, I emptied all pockets of the jeans I was wearing last night. And the jeans I have on today are fresh, started the day with nothing in the pockets.
@ItsAHabit, the traveling glasses are on a lanyard, or rather, a 4’ steel industrial chain. Those are the ones I take to the theater, restaurants, class, etc., with the case on that chain just because I got sick of losing them. The missing glasses are the ones that never go out.
@Arisztid, you’re just trying to fool me. I know you didn’t take them. Wish you had, though, because I’d have them back now. And anyway, they don’t even fit in my purse.
@janbb, thanks, I knew I could count on you.
@shego, these glasses don’t even travel to the bedroom. There’s another pair in there. These are supposed to stay at my desk and not move. But just in case, I took off the glasses I was wearing and looked at them. Nope.

Creative ideas, guys. I need help. I am so baffled.

Obviously they’ve fallen in between your mattress and your headboard.

Did you fold them up in the stack of whatever it was you were editing?
Did you cleverly hang them from your desk lamp so you could find them easier?
Were you wearing a robe or sweater and put them in your pocket?
Did you go to bed with them pushed up on top of your head and lose them to the pillow monster?

Obviously your glasses have eaten your desk, then molted to become your desk.

After you were done editing last night, what was the very first thing you did after that?

Changed into night clothes? Is there any way you put the case in a shirt or pants pocket and then put the clothes in a laundry basket? Check the folds of your bed blankets – maybe you set the case on them while changing, or getting into bed. What about the floor around your bed (sides, back, underneath)? What about the dishwasher? Washer and dryer? Bathroom floor? Shower?

They are pushed up on your head. Yeah right there.

Sit at your desk and mentally retrace your steps right before you got up from the chair. They may still be on your face;-)

I have closed mine up in books, did you check your books?

Ok. Ok. I stopped working at 10:15 because Wed. night is read-aloud night at my house, and we start at 10:30. I decided to have a dish of ice cream before storytime. So I took the pages I was working on off the clipboard
(checked the clipboard)
and put them back in the looseleaf binder
(checked the looseleaf binder)
Actually I should have taken the glasses off first and put them in the case, where my regular glasses were resting. I have my regular glasses. I’m wearing them now. They’re on my face.
(checked again; yup,couldn’t see they screen if I weren’t)
So—I put the editing job away. Went to the kitchen and got out a bowl and a spoon and the ice cream scoop
(checked the cupboard and silverware drawer)
and the ice cream
(just checked the freezer for the third time)
and dished up some Haagen-Dasz chocolate. Then poured some herb tea
(checked the stove and the counter)
and

no, wait

I took the i.c. to my desk and ate it there while checking in with fluther (wearing my reg. glasses) and might have moved my reading glasses (in the case) aside
(checking desk for the 40th time)
THEN poured herb tea and went to the living room to be read to. Didn’t need reading glasses.
(checked the sofa anyway)

Went back to my desk at midnight and signed off.
(now I’m right back here again)

I almost never take the glasses out of this room. I didn’t last night. I swear it. I swear.

I have been under and behind the desk with a flashlight. I have been all around the floor and on the couch and on the windowsills and Grrrr! I am so frustrated.

I am starting to think @andrew is right. They mutated.

You’ve checked your glasses case, then I assume?

The glasses case is missing, presumably with the glasses inside.

The last time i saw you with those glasses, you were pouring a glass of milk and raiding the cookie jar. look inside the cookie jar.

(looking)

…

Not in the cookie jar. Not in the linen closet or the washer or dryer. Not in the book-jammed room we call the library. Not in the kitchen or dining room, not in the living room, and I haven’t been to the basement since before I went away 2 weeks ago.

Checked both my sons’ rooms even though they are unused at present. Checked the car again. Checked my husband’s car. Checked our bedroom, bathroom, closet. What haven’t I checked?

~~~DESPAIR~~~

Do you think there’s any chance you put the glasses and case inside the ice cream tub?

I cannot remember… do you have pets? If so, that increases the problem tenfold.

@DrasticDreamer, checking…

…

Not on top of the ice cream. Do you think I should dig down?

@Arisztid, never had a dog, and the last old cat went to kitty heaven more than a year ago. No poltergeist activity either.

Listen here, @Jeruba:

They are either in the house or they are not.
They are either in your room or they are not.
They are where you put them or they are where they landed by accident.
They are either under something (which is where most lost things are) or they are in plain view.
What haven’t you thought of?

@Jeruba If you have had any visitors or someone living with you (I cannot remember) I would not put it past them for pulling a prank on you.

If I was there I would do tha… err, if my evil twin Bob were there, he would do that. Bob. Yes, Bob would do it. Just like he used to go into empty bathrooms and correct the spelling and punctuation of graffiti he found there with a red Sharpee, giving it a grade. He would come back in in a bit, correct all the cussing and death threats with said sharpee, grading it.

Toilet bowl. i dropped a pair of sunglasses in the toilet and the swirled right on down to the river. check that toilet bowl. i know you read on the jon.

But not with those glasses.

I just finished searching the ceiling with a flashlight. Can’t be too careful when Bob’s involved.

You didn’t throw out any trash since yesterday?

Nope, and I just checked through the outgoing recycle bin. Old tuna fish cans, yuck.

I really want to know where your glasses are hiding. Not as much as you, I’m sure, but man…

In the interests of scientific thoroughness, I decided to try a reenactment. I’m at the ice cream step right now.

You’ve stacked all the papers and arranged everything so you can see the desk. After checking the 50th time :) the surrounding areas of the floor, any air vents, under the furniture. Any surrounding drawers or surface areas. You didn’t pick up anything else and move it?

Welllll…the papers can’t all be stacked. Not in a single stack, anyway, And I haven’t seen my desktop in nine months. But I did go down about three strata below the layer in which I was working.

Drawers, cubbies, furniture, yes. Moved all the books that are near the surface. Checked behind the monitor. Checked all around the keyboard and the tower. Checked around the laptop, too, and everything that’s piled on top of it. Crawled under the desk and patted the floor under the solid portions. Checked the trapped space behind the drawers. Air vents are on the other side of the room. I even checked in the closet, which hadn’t been opened, and inside a box I was getting ready to mail.

Eating the ice cream helped (ice cream always helps) but did not advance my goal. They’re just <sob> gone.

Dirty clothes hamper? Maybe you had it in your pocket and it fell out.

(checking)

…

Nope. I caught up with the laundry yesterday, anyway, so there was noplace to hide.

Sorry—I didn’t know you’d have such a tizzy fit. I took them while you were out. Unfortunately, I’ve misplaced them.

X#$%Y&*@Z!, @ratboy. This sounds so hopeless now that I may have to turn to religion.

the glasses thing just makes me crazy. crazy. i’d get lazix if it would correct the close-up blurry problem-

What was going through your mind when you were at the desk the second time? Maybe something might click.

I…was looking at the clock and thinking about how much more I had to do today before meeting with my client this afternoon, and whether I’d have to finish it before going out. I decided that I could wait and do it after I got back. So I didn’t reach for them until 3:30 this afternoon.

So far, searching around and under my desk, I’ve found a ceramic dish, two water bottles, a shiny penny, a pair of earrings, and a small stuffed bear.

I tend to lose things all the time, so I’ll tell you my most common finding spots. I have a habit of setting things down unconsciously on flat surfaces, especially if there is only just enough room for the item. For glasses, this means I find them on window sills quite often. I also find lots of stuff in nooks between jars in my kitchen. Another spot where I’ve found my glasses before is at the edge of a bookshelf, just in front of a row of books.

I also find that when I retrace my steps, I am always forgetting about trips the bathroom. If I ever can’t find an item even after attempting to physically retrace my steps, that usually means I left it in the bathroom and was forgetting about the trip.

Also give all the papers around your desk a gentle pat-down. Things sometimes get put in very patent spots, but then get covered up by one innocent sheet of paper.

What makes this harder to figure is that the glasses are in their case. Glasses and case are missing. I didn’t set them down while in use. They were put away in the case and on my desk, and now the whole thing is gone.

Could somebody please hypnotize me?

Well, you’ve obviously grilled the SO, right? About the glasses case?

Have you considered that they may not be in the case, and thus, you’re looking for something different? You’re sure you have the right case in mind was you’re looking?

And a spool of thread.

Yes, my husband is suffering right along with me, I assure you. He conducted the same search of my desk and the rest of my study and then made the rounds of the house. I have checked his room three times.

Black shiny hardshell case, the only one like it between us. And the glasses are always in it when not in use. But yes, I am looking for case and glasses. Good point.

He thinks we’ll find them staring us in the face in some ridiculous place. History suggests this is not a complete unlikelihood. But it’s never been this bad before, honest.

Have you checked under couch cushions? Bathroom and kitchen cabinets?

Couch cushions, yep.
Kitchen cabinets, yep.
Bathroom cabinets… (checking)

…

Damn! @FutureMemory, you got the bull’s eye. Bathroom drawer. There’s the case. Glasses inside. Found! Incredible.

And now I remember…tweezing out a single almost invisible bristly white eyebrow hair and putting the tweezers away…and the glasses with them.

Thanks, everybody. You were great. Fluther found my glasses! Amazing.

@Supermouse, want to borrow my glasses to look for your keys?

@Jeruba Thank god. The suspense was killing me! :D

<takes a bow>.

Somehow I knew they were in the bathroom.

Okay, this was my favorite thread ever.

Oooh, look at @FutureMemory‘s avatar! <blowing kisses xxxx>

@Jeruba You found them! Good on you and @FutureMemory !

No thanks to Bob.

I’m so glad they weren’t with Supermouse’s keys!

Supermouses keys were down the drain like john p’s phone….. @jeruba, So happy for you!!! This is the best thread ever!!!! due to you talking to yourself…..lol

tweezing is the root of all evil.

This was like reading a play-by-play of what I feel and what happens when I lose something. Usually the scissors. It’s so frustrating, and then you feel so silly when you find what you’re looking for and suddenly remember how it go to the place where you found it.

I’m so glad you found your glasses, @Jeruba ! This question was like a suspense novel, and I fully admit to skimming a bit in the middle to get to the exciting conclusion.

@Jeruba you found them! Congratulations! I admit I am a slightly jealous and I am incredibly bummed that my keys weren’t with your glasses! @FutureMemory have you checked out this thread, my keys are just waiting for you to chime in.

Now can everyone help me find my cellphone?

@janbb, in the couch cushions? That’s where I usually find mine, in the space between the back of the couch and the seat of the couch, along with $1.18 in loose change, a pen and some pretzels.

@janbb I feel your pain! I lose my cell phone almost daily and because I keep the ringer on vibrate the whole “give it a call” tracking method does not work for me!

@ratboy said ”Sorry—I didn’t know you’d have such a tizzy fit. I took them while you were out. Unfortunately, I’ve misplaced them.”

@Jeruba said, ”@envidula61, no strange wanderers other than my husband, and we are both senior enough never to do such a thing to each other on purpose, even in fun.”

Apparently @ratboy was fooling around in your bathroom cabinet (got any drugs he might be interested in) and moved your glasses there. But you were so certain no one had gotten in. Sigh. No one ever believes me!

In the bathroom, as I suspected!

@Jeruba Eh, Bob did not do it this time but I wanted to… errr, he wants me to remind you to please put another pack of gum in your purse.

I was hoping I’d wake up and they’d be found. Yay!

I’m so glad they were not in my coat pocket!

How much does a pair of reading glasses cost now? $10?

Well, at least we proved Fluther isn’t just for NSFW questions…

This was a landmark fluther question for me. Collective brilliance distributed randomly throughout the universe converges like light concentrated through a magnifying glass to illuminate a single-pointed problem. Flash! Solved.

@Fred931, you can’t buy OTC reading glasses in my strength. My prescription reading glasses are way stronger than anything at Walgreen’s. If I could pick up spares for $10, I’d have two in every room in the house and six in my car.