Is there life after 50 for women and how did you find it?

That’s amazing. I would hate to think I’d turn invisible at 50 and I have NO plans on doing so. I’m looking forward now at 42, and making all sorts of plans to write, create, learn, teach and nurture my family, so there is no going unseen for me! It’s just a number.

Absolutely there is life! Do you know how many men are out there asking the same question? The same or pretty darn close. You don’t need a partner to enjoy life but it sure helps.

Invisible? Hardly! Not a sex object any more – sure, but then I have never considered that my most salient quality. What I’ve lost to gravity, I’ve gained in wit, wisdom, self-confidence and strength.

My mother is 56 and she is as loud and active as ever. As @janbb says, my mom is no longer viewed as a sex object which thrills her beyond belief. Now, when she chats up male employees in a store, she is viewed as someone’s middle aged mommy rather than someone flirting with those guys. She is cheerful and is doing all the things she didn’t do when I was still living at home. Trust me, you’ve still got a lot of life left in you. :)

I am hoping that other women/men reading this can get direction and inspiration from the answers. Whatever you can provide to help those less confidant in the maturing process would be great. Let’s help each other and maybe even make each other laugh about it. Thanks from me.

Yes, @janbb

I am 50.5 this week on the 26th! lol

Divorced after 22 years when I was 43, my choice.

I have enjoyed the most growth, most peace, most joy the decade of my 40’s until the present moment.

I still get noticed by men, but I don’t really care….what I have gained in wisdom more than makes up for what I have lost in form. lol

I LOVE my space, my house, doing whatever I want, whenever I want, after years of being overly responsible I am totally diggin’ just catering to my own whims, setting my own schedule.

Like right now…no work til Thurs. soooo…..the days wide open…maybe a drive to Tahoe, maybe a few friends over tonight for cocktails on the deck, maybe….just hang around my beautiful yard and do nothing at all…well…until Corona time! lol

To answer your question and add to the comments—I surely hope there is life after 50! I plan to reach that age and enjoy life as much as I am enjoying it now (at under 50).

I think the bill of goods someone tried to sell us on that idea/thought is an outdated means to depress, repress and stifle women in general, and by extension older men. I mean, following the ill-logic of that thought, if you are still “young” you have some (limited) worth, and when you near your golden years, it’s all used up. Happily, there is nothing to substantiate that claim. Much to the contrary. All those years of experience and learned (and book-smart) wisdom would just go to waste if there were not older individuals in management and supervisory positions, guiding and training the younger generations. And that’s not to say senior people aren’t innovative, creative and imaginative also. Some of the best creatives I’ve met have been 50+ and have had more energy than their youthful counterparts.

I think it’s all in the eye of the beholder and youth/old age is what you make it.

@Siren

Absolutely true!

I’d also add that the western cultures have huge hangups about aging, losing ‘marketability’..in many areas, sexually and otherwise.

Our culture places great emphasis on youth and all things youthful.

I have several female friends that are really having a hard time with aging, dumping the big bucks for cosmetic procedures and feeling a lot of fear and desperation to cling to their youthful appearances which no amount of ‘enhancements’ will change in the long run.

My one good friend and biz. partner is trying her best to life her behind on the verge of an aneurism doing the ‘Brazilian butt lift’ workout. Um…hate to tell you but…no amount of Brazilian butt lifts are going to reshape your ass to it’s glory days! lol

In many other cultures the elderly are revered for their wisdom and looked upon as very valuable ‘senior’ members of their society.

I think the American way is woefully bereft of substance and feel it is a sad commentary on our grossly self centered society.

Me?

I’m just kickin’ back in the hot tub with a good bottle of wine and…let the parts fall where they may! lol

I have experienced the “being unseen” thing, and I just ignore it. I, like most vital 50+ women I know just do my own thing. Now I have the time and the freedom to do it.

What I’ve lost to gravity, I’ve gained in wit, wisdom, self-confidence and strength.

@janbb You may want to consider trying to find whatever it was that gravity hid from you. Just saying.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.

It’s just a joke, already. I just couldn’t resist. I love you madly, but you just can’t say a straight line like that and expect me to ignore it.

This may be out-of-line, but it does feel like women 50+ seem to be mostly interested in things that only other women 50+ are interested in. Perhaps that’s why they may seem “unseen” (as the OP phrased it), by the culture at large. I’ve never really thought much about it, but I really can’t think of many 50+ women who have much of an impact on society at-large, whereas there are many men of this age who are still impacting society.

To be clear, I think this may speak more against our culture than against older women.

@gorillapaws I’m going out to eat now but whoah – that’s a ridiculous statement!

Barbara Boxer
Twyla Tharp
Nancy Pelosi
Oprah
Toni Morrison
Marion Nestle
Wendy Wasserstein
Louise Nevelson
Cokie Roberts
Diane Sawyer

No impact on society??

I believe the person who said “that women after a certain age become “unseen” or perhaps of no noticeable contributing social value” must have been a shut-in.
At 65 I just inventory my working body parts, my stamina, and my list of want-to’s and have at it. I can not say that I have experienced any negative reaction or comments to women over 50 but I am more physically active than most, still working the farm.
After 45 I started working as a partner in my own health, I have a great village in that regard. At 55 I shamelessly began to use my grandkids to be silly and fun. I take naps a couple of times a week. And help people. And do some things just for me.

@janbb so I didn’t immediately recognize many names on that list, and with a couple exceptions, you very rarely hear their names on the news. You don’t exactly see kids with Marion Nestle posters on their walls.

I didn’t mean to say they’re not impacting society, it’s just that they seem to stay out of the national spotlight more so than men of the same age when they’re doing it (with a couple of exceptions).

@gorillapaws

Maybe it’s because most women are already the backbone of their family.

I could care less about being ‘seen’ or in the spotlight…all I want now is to enjoy the paying of my dues…to myself! lol

It’s so sad that some can feel this way – that after stopping being a sex object (which also, ps, doesn’t have to end at 50), women are no longer valued – hello, sexism. Live your life!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Not saying that I feel unsexy or unattractive to men, just that I don’t attract the same kind of unwarranted attention I might have when I was a young woman. And that also isn’t say that there aren’t other 50 year women who do. i.e. Michelle Pfeiffer.

I don’t think the point of this thread is to discuss popularity, but self-worth and perceptions of worth after 50. But, if we want to discuss women 50+ who are highly visible in the public eye, I can add:

Hilary Clinton
Margaret Thatcher
Golda Meir
Indhira Ghandi
Sarah Palin (not my favorite, but…)
Elizabeth Arden (the late)
Coco Chanel (the late)
Mother Theresa (the late)
Martha Stewart (not my favorite again, however…)
Benazir Bhutto (before assassination, former PM of Pakistan)
Gloria Allred (lawyer suing Tiger Woods)
Marcia Clark (prosecutor for OJ Simpson case)
Chrissie Hynde (Pretenders singer, now over 50)
Elizabeth Taylor
Madonna, Cher…..
Betty White!

and speaking of which, many high-profile female celebrities are hitting, or have hit the big 5–0 and are as popular as ever. So, ladies (and gents), if you want to see names, just check out your local grocery store tabloid aisle.

Forgot some big ones, just for the ladies:

Anna Wintour, still going strong, editor of Vogue and topic of huge movie “The Devil Wears Prada”.

@janbb

Yes, attracting ‘attention’ is so, so…meh..these days. lol

I have always been an attractive woman, still am… ( in a cute and charming way, never a glamour girl ) and have even had the youngsters come onto me..( I HATE the term ‘Cougar.’ ) But…I am all about peace and serenity and depth, I present myself as best I can but am not at all hung up on the aging process.

I have learned that to fight reality is the cause of all of our suffering.

I think I am better in every way, ( minus the gravititational pull, lol ) than ever before in my life!

I LOVE who and where I am right now!

Oooh…I forgot: Oprah hosted Raquel Welch on her show the other night, and they discussed the very same thing. I would tune into that for some interesting comments from the “sex goddess” herself:

http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/Sex-Symbol-Raquel-Welch-on-Aging

@Siren

Yes, but don’t forget..all these Hollywood women like Raquel and Michelle P. are talking out of both sides of their mouths.

You better believe if they were REALLY secure within they wouldn’t have dumped 100’s of k’s into cosmetic procedures!

Kinda a paradox don’t you think?

Big dif bewteen the genuine article and the ones that pay lip service via their Botoxed lips. hahaha

P.S.

I have always loved Meg Ryan..our looks and personalities have a lot of parallels..but..I was so disturbed when she did the lip thing a few years ago..she looked like shit! I am so glad she looks normal again!

I happen to wear my face with pride…whatever anyone else wants to perceive as fixable…well….the REAL me is the real me, I have earned every sag and crinkle and droop…and…to parrot Rod Stewart..’ she wears it well!’ lol

@Coloma: That’s the industry they’re in though, isn’t it? They are expected to “look good” at any age, as tv personalities. Men and women. I heard men wear more makeup than women on tv nowadays actually, so go figure.

I don’t judge what a woman (or man) does surgically to feel good about themselves or their profession. I like Joan Rivers because regardless of her beauty history, she makes me laugh whenever she talks, she’s engaging and keeps right on going…

@Siren

Yes, it is part of the industry, but…the ‘industry’ also breeds a lot of very sad ’ has beens’...IMO it is just sad…that the ‘industry’ reduces the totality of a great human being to a shelf life of viability.

I don’t judge either, but..I am very against whimsical cosmetic surgeries because one is in such fear of aging.

Wouldn’t it be much more exciting to actually see these real people aging in the real world?

I just watched that movie ‘Wonderland’ with Val Kilmer as John Holmes the porn star from the 70;s.

The documentary disc interviewed his old acting partners….OMG…some of these women were veritable MONSTERS from the ‘cosmetic’ procedures.

Still trying to look 28 at 68…sad, just f——ing SAD!

Life ? You become invisible. Thank you for defining it. People look THROUGH you instead of AT you. Wait..allow me to clarify: you are always invisible UNLESS you’re wearing a bathing suit. Under those conditions, to your horror, everyone notices you. With that exception, you cease to exist. The women I know who think they have a life are playing bridge—a lot. Learn how to play bridge!

@Aster

Right!

I love the mantra of..’ You don’t HAVE a life, you ARE life!’

Kinda says it all…just live, be happy, be kind….the dust zone is just around the corner!

I think all the women in the Forbes 100 most powerful women in the world would disagree with that.

@Siren “I don’t think the point of this thread is to discuss popularity, but self-worth and perceptions of worth after 50.”

I just think the lack of media exposure of popular older women who haven’t “surgically enhanced” themselves may contribute to those feelings of self-worth. I’m getting the sense from several people here that once their looks started to go, they seemed to get less respect from other people, which is pretty tragic.

Liv Ullman. A real star.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0880521/

(and she grew up in my city… ;o)

If feeling and looking young is needed to gain the respect of others, then that respect is non-existent.

As a champagne flute is always elegant, so a woman with inner beauty no matter the mileage. Anything else is horse leavings.

Anita (my wife) is 20-years past 50.

I dont feel invisible. I don’t get the heavy breathing and slobbering sort of attention I used to get but that’s ok with me. I sort of want to be left alone now anyway. People are still friendly and chatty and polite, it’s nice. I wouldn’t mind playiing bridge all the time instead of have having my kids try to teach me cod on ps3— they’re all ’ how do you even dress yourself!!”

@trailsillustrated it’s ok with you? You’re lucky.

@trailsillustrated

Haha…yes, just had a ‘little talk’ with my 22 year old daughter who seems to be taking on a parenting posistion with me lately.

Telling me what she thinks I should do, advising me unsolicitated…kinda funny, but…just told her the other day..’ I appriciate your advice but…I’m a big girl and know what I am doing, no more ‘parenting’ on either side, we are equals now!’

( In regards to her taking charge of what kind of new car I should buy.)

Jeez…I am 50 NOT 80…back off kiddo! lol

@Coloma oh hahahaha yeah. it’s wierd to be called old by kids. @Aster I still get attention it’s just that now it’s not that ” I’m gonna eat you!!’ intense staring thing anymore. People seem to deal with me more on a friendly interest basis now.

Ladies!!! Just because you are no longer the blooming rose you were in your youth, does not mean you are not a dignified tulip. And there’s nothing wrong with tulips! Stop judging yourselves on your looks and realize that the strangers who used to gawk at you were only that: strangers. Who your friends are is what’s most important. That’s what life is about. Hopefully we all learn that one lesson in life.

One thing I discovered is that waiters in fine restaurants are far more attentive because they find flattery will earn them a bigger tip.

@siren Who’s dignified?