What is most scary about dying?
What scares you about death?
If you were to die, how would you want people to act around you?
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All your accumulated knowledge and memory vanishing forever.
Nothing at all. It may even be desirable, as there may be a chance of being reunited with my late wife.
I’m afraid of the action of dying. It probably hurts, and probably sucks, too.
But if I gotta be totally honest, what scares me about it is not being able to enjoy doing what I like, being me and, well, essentially, no longer be living. I suppose when you’re dead it doesn’t matter since you’re dead, unless you believe in an afterlife, but yeah, I don’t, and not watching zombie films, showing off how hot a Goth I am in downotown Montréal or hanging out with my friends and getting drunk is a scary thought.
But death probably ain’t all that bad, because many aspects of life are horrendous. I’ve experienced nothing compared to people who get tortured, imprisoned or whatever the fuck, but yeah, if death just feels like passing out and sleeping forever, I guess I can’t complain. It’s not like Don de Dieu beer doesn’t do that to me every damn night anyways.
And it’s a waste of time worrying about it anyways, since whether or not things are only appreciated for their ephemeral state, it’s gonna happen either way.
I have always been afraid of the unknown and that is what frightened me about dying.
The fact that you do it alone.
Fact from fiction, truth from diction. People have a fear of dying because death is at the end of it. There are two grains of thought once death arrives is (A) you are just going to fade off into the great white zephron, never, never land, or oblivion etc,; (B) You will go to an after life. If that is the case you only have to fear dying if your after life will not be pleasant based off how you spent and used your time here. If you lived upstanding then dying is actually looked forward to because you know you will leave this Earthly realm which sucks for the most past for a much glorious happy one.
To say the fear of dying would come from missing a great life or living itself, the moment your brain dies or goes unconscious before you die you won’t remember anything, it will be as if you took a blow to the head playing football, you would never know that tackle knocked you out until your teammates snapped you back to the hear and now. While you were out of it you had no ideal what was done to you or for you to get you conscious again. One can have only the thought of the future they will miss here in the present because they certainly won’t have anything to remember once death is here, you will not even know you were gone unless you believe there is an after life so you won’t have no recollection of your great kids, not seeing your dog again, or that great job you had.
The thing that scares me about death is the loss and sadness my children and family would feel. I have no fear of dying other than that tho.
It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
—Woody Allen (Without Feathers, 1975)
Actually we’ve all “experienced” non-existence—it’s no different than the eons prior to our birth. Somehow that doesn’t seem so scary to me.
I can’t say that anything really scares me about death, since I’m not dead yet. I can’t say for sure that I’ll miss any thing in this world as I am not dead yet. When I do die I’m sorry I won’t be able to let you know what I really feel about being dead because I’ll be dead.
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I’m afraid of what might happen to my personal belongings, & how my lovers will react.
And I want to die on my own terms, not in bed. I want to be shot, stabbed, blown up, burned alive….something other than some disease! I don’t want to be doped up or on life support. I want to be able to feel the pain, feel my soul leave my body. I want to greet Death as an old friend.
And I want my final requests to be obeyed to the letter.
Who knows. All those with experience doing it refuse to answer that question.
It’s the bits before the actual dying that scare me the most – the pain and suffering and loss of competencies.
I don’t want to die because I would be deprived of the knowledge of what will happen next in this planet’s history.
The fact that you have never done it before and the fact that you can’t talk to someone who has.
No one knows. You probably just turn into non-living thing that can’t even think if you’re dead. Just dead,like everybody else,no heaven,no heaven,and certainly no life. It just the way it has to be.
I envision this incredible moment of just atomizing back into the universe…like a projectile fractal of gold dust spurting into the winds of space.
I have no fear, but, of course, hope my body does not suffer much.
@Symbeline I admire your certainty of conviction. It’s the rational approach, rather than my wishy-washy agnosticism. Clear-headed.
@Draconess25 My thinking also. I dread not being able to exit on my own terms. I hope that the last part of my body to be incapacitated is my trigger finger.
I want them to poke me with sticks and tickle me…I want to feel every last moment of my life I can!! I will have a box of kazoos ready for the occasion!
Having watched more than a few things die, the part I dread the most is the struggle the body engages in to live…even when the mind and heart (as in emotions) are ready to let go.
I’m hoping that ,and some people I know who have gotten damn close to dead say, your mind is somewhat protected from the reality of this struggle.
If not…give me morphine by the cart load, please.
Getting killed by anything that will eat you is pretty scary.
I would like a dance floor installed over my grave ;)
Viscerally I think it’s the instinctive terror of annihilation, but realistically I’d have to agree with @janbb: death itself—being dead—isn’t so scary, but the process of getting there is. I think about it and worry about it a little bit every single day. A quick, clean passing is a great blessing.
I hope I’ll go my like dear old cat last month…breakfast at 9, lying under a tree all day and a heart attack at 5.
I also would really like to enjoy a great last meal…..lol
I would like to know that some of the people I love and care about, those who genuinely love and care about me will be in the room or at least in the same house whenever and wherever my death occurs. Although it may be necessary to walk through the death door alone it would be great to know that someone I love is holding my hand right to the last nanosecond.
I’ve been doing some workshops about death with some elderly people, and what strikes me is that much of the fear and pain of death brought up revolved around experiences of losing people they loved (through death). When, however, asked to talk about their own death, they seemed less afraid.
Obviously it’s difficult to know; I’m sure it’s different hypothesizing about it than actually. I find it hard to answer this question; and I think it makes a difference if it’s a drawn out illness, versus a sudden, unexpected death, versus a quiet, peaceful exit.
@lucillelucillelucille
Yes, well..not a great idea to go jogging with headphones in mountain lion land…poor woman went out that way in this area once…she was cached for several return feasts…but….better than running into a Ted Bundy on the trail. lol
On that happy note….now I lay me down to sleep…..
@lifeflame I’m 66, so I have given it some thought. I know it is a bridge I will have to cross. I am not afraid of it at all. I do hope it can be without a long stretch of debilitating pain or dysfunction, though. The idea of having to live through something like that makes me sympathetic to the arguments of those favoring assisted suicide.
The absolute ZERO/NOTHINGNESS that follows.
Well, one things for sure, after having the experience of dismantling a 48 year old estate of a family member….good freakin’ GAWD!
Took months to clean out the home and property and get the house ready to put on the market.
I promised myself and my daughter that I will die with minimal ‘stuff.’
All you hoarders take heed. lol
@Coloma Good point. I’ve already designated the recipients of the books, firearms and antique furniture. I was witness to a huge squabble when my grandfather died.
@stranger_in_a_strange_land
Oh yes…. nothing like a death to bring out the worst ( or true colors of some.)
My uncles estate was pretty high end..relatives about a 100 times removed descended like vultures..it was not pretty.
The beneficiaries were myself and 3 other immediate sisters and nephews, I literally locked up the house and had to have the estate attorney present while the 3 of us went through the contents of the house to keep out the unwelcome parasitic masses.
Fortunetly the 3 of us were all on the same wavelength and were not concerned with getting our hands on anything of value. Everyones conduct was exemplary, aside from some of the ‘outsiders.’
An experience I do not wish to repeat, ever!!
@Merriment Doctors refuse to give a lot of morphine when someone is dying. They don’t want them to become addicted.
@Aster
Yes, well… if that’s the case with me I’ll just have my daughter bring me lots and lots of ‘special’ brownies! lol
@Coloma Good idea if you can still swallow. Many people lose the ability to swallow near the end. Thus, the weightloss.
A shameless plug for Hospice – they are just wonderful at easing death and reducing the pain. My uncle was given morphine drops in a syringe towards the end.
@Aster
Hmmm…that’s a sad, sad thought…cancel! lol
@janbb The hospice movement is great. They made all the difference in my mothers last few months. She was adamant about no machines and her advance directive was very clear. They helped keep her pain-free up to the end, with dignity.
@Aster – LOL right. No time for rehab in heaben.
My experience with morphine has been quite the opposite. Even though they fear a wrongful death lawsuit, they are pretty free with the morphine when you are in the hospital on a one way ticket. Maybe I should BYOM just to be safe. :)
Being alone with your doctors in a hospital unable to communicate your wishes while they keep applying life-prolonging measures involving a lot of pain and suffering.
Otherwise we should not be too scared about it. Death is part of life.
@mattbrowne
I like something I heard once…that the opposite of death is birth…life has no opposite. ;-)
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