Why do so many child prodigies "burn out" and not do much with their adult life?

It might have to do with the expectations that the people around them have of them. That kind of pressure can wreak havoc on a child’s mental health. That and their talents might make it harder for them to make friends because the other kids might be envious.

The world imposes adult expectations on them, and they are really still only children. The challenge of allowing and encouraging gifted children a childhood remains the challenge to the parents and teachers of such children.

This is weird, but someone else just posted something that was almost exactly like this question on Askville less than 2 minutes after I posted it. Did someone get inspired or was tha a really weird coincidence?

Though they may have obscene talent for something doesn’t mean they enjoy it. Generally their parents are pushy and force them into constantly performing whatever their skill is, and teach them to always say they love it for the camera.

Too much, too soon.

Conservation of energy.

It’s generally accepted that sheer talent or even high intelligence aren’t good indicators of success as adults. There’s just too many factors that go into it.

I agree, and..think that parents of many gifted children are overly invested in getting THEIR ego’s stroked by their childs successes. I’d even go so far as to say that this is covertly abusive as hell.

If, as some have mentioned the child is really not into what they are doing and are only pleasing narcissistic parents, that is a recipe for disaster.

Also, as @netgrrl says, there are many other factors involved.

Prodigies aside…how many of US have realized we have spent time trying to live up to expectations in general…of our families, relationships, and societies mandates of the definition of ‘success.’

Plenty of ‘average’ folks wake up one day and realize they have been bending over backwards to meet others expectations.

The professional whatever that realizes he got into his field to please the parents or because it was what he thought he ‘should’ do, and then..realizes his true calling is not being an engineer but a farmer! lol

I have always told my daughter to do what she pleases and NEVER allow others opinions or expectations to color her choices…including mine!

Unfortunetly her father is part of the ‘should’ club…I am glad to be the supportive balance.

They’re spent their whole childhood being told how wonderful and amazing they are, and that they’re super special snowflakes. Then they get out in the real world, and often no one gives a shit how well they can play piano or whatever. That must be a very hard and painful adjustment.

The key word is child. That explains alot.

to me life is for living for the moment, too many children are pushed too soon into a world that they shouldn’t really be expected to live in. It’s up to us as parents to shelter them from harm, and gently show them/ introduce them to the real world and it’s negative side with clear and loving understanding. I don’t know any child prodigies personally, but I am guessing that for a long time they live in a protected bubble where everyone thinks they are special for their talent and not for being a person, when they grow up there talent is not as noticible any more and therefore their novilty appeal has worn off, they are then expected to live in the “real world” with no understanding of what it entails and how to interact on a social level. It seems such as shame :(

Malcolm Gladwell wrote, ”“What a gifted child is, in many ways, is a gifted learner. And what a gifted adult is, is a gifted doer. And those are quite separate domains of achievement.”

However, child prodigies must also be doers. Perhaps even more so than they have to be smart. According to one article I found, “a child prodigy may have a reasonably high, but not necessarily exceptionally high, IQ. Prodigies tend to be unusually focused, determined, and highly motivated to reach the highest levels of their fields. They are often marked by great confidence in their abilities, along with a naive sense of these abilities.”

Surely if you are a doer as a child, you should grow up to be a doer in most cases. I question the thesis of this question. I don’t know what is meant when it asks why “so many” prodigies “burn out?” How many is so many? What is burning out? Is there any more burning out amongst prodigies than any other group of people? Show me the data, please. I don’t believe it’s accurate until you show me that this is a real trend.

Young child prodigies are over exposed and over worked at too young of an age, so when they reach a mature age they just couldn’t give a f*ck anymore.

@Likeradar: ”super special snowflakes”

Best line I’ve heard all day.

I agree that the expectations placed upon these children by their parents, teachers and coaches takes a toll on their emotional and mental well being. I believe these adults are more driven by their own ego through their vicarious attachment to the child’s achievements.

@wundayatta—it was YOU who wrote the Askville question right after I posted here, you question bandit! (mostly kidding)

I don’t have my data here now, but honestly, I don’t perform on command—I’ll get stuff up if and when I get it up. I was doing some personal research after reading a novel about a kid who grew up a prodigy and was realizing that he was quickly approaching “average” status and losing his edge. In the book, the character mentioned that many (he dared say MOST) child prodigies ended up not living up to the potential that people expected of their promising start. Most of them ended up being average.

There’s nothing wrong with being average, but I thought it was unsual that these kids made great leaps ahead when young and then ended up about average in a group instead of being far ahead of their peers when older.

Here is an article, I may edit and add more. Its from the Associate Psychological Science—fairly reputable source.

“The Myth of Prodigy and Why it Matters By Eric Wargo, Observer Staff Writer”

http://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/getarticle.cfm?id=2026

The world doesn’t revolve around these people and them burning out like most people in their adult lives is natural. The economy is selective, and eats those who aren’t committed to their line of work or talent.

@keobooks I confess to being lazy. I didn’t want to do the research myself (what are question sites for?). But then I did a little research.

It’s interesting that you got this idea from a character in a book. I am very skeptical that the idea is correct. If it is wrong, then you have sent us all on a wild goose chase—trying to come up with reasons for a phenomenon that doesn’t exist.

And which site are you moonlighting on?

There are many important developmental tasks and experiences that are bypassed or disrupted in the lives of these those prodigies unless their parents make the children’s best interests the highest priority.

From what I have heard anecdotally, the parents of the Jonas Brothers are being better protected than was Brittney Spears.

Comments on this, anyone?

@wundayatta—I did post an article from the Associate Psycological Science journal that was interesting. And just because the book was a novel didn’t mean the author totally pulled stuff out of his behind when writing. He mentioned in an interview that he researched the lives of prodigies when writing his book.

Anyway, I have mostly been on Askville the last six months. I just needed a change of scenery so I’m trying my hand at other sites.

I can tell you that I failed to live up to my potential due to stress. After so many years of people telling me what I should do and all, they seemed to overlook one very important detail: IT IS MY LIFE!

Now, who here has had their entire future planned by others? Doesn’t it make you feel powerless, like you have no control? Or does it lead to resentment, anger, and a desire to just tell people to fuck off?

How many here have been told at least twice a day that you could and should be doing better than you are? Does hearing that over and over make you feel inadequate?

It takes more than intelligence to make a prodigy into a successful adult. They have to have a certain temperament, and certain personality traits.

@Jerv I hope you have not given up on achieving whatever is important to you, regardless of all the pressures that were dumped on you.The only person who should access your accomplishments is you.

@Dr_Lawrence Well, I learned how to measure success by things that don’t show up on a 1040A if that’s what you mean. For instance, I’m happily married, and I have a job that I like, so I am somewhat successful.

Yes..the measuring stick of success is very subjective…societally speaking it is about waht you HAVE, intrapersonally and spirirtually it is about who you ARE, as a whole.

IDEALLY, it is about all systems functioning in a congruent way so that ‘success’ is acheived on ALL levels.

A child prodigy is by definition a child who has mastered a skill or talent “at an adult level”.

While that is impressive as hell when they are children and puts all the other children in the shade it does not necessarily mean they will continue to eclipse their peers once they are adults.

I think after a while they get tired of being treated like an object and their lives are mapped out for them before they are really concious of what they want to do. Lets say you are a piano player podigy. Yes you enjoyed it when you were young but you really want to grow up and be a pilot. They may do it for a while because they don’t want to disappoint anyone but eventually they will do what pleases them. To others this person may be a failure but to themselves they are successful because they did what they wanted.
My son always wondered why I didn’t become a lawyer or a doctor since I enjoyed reading about laws and medical stuff. To me these things where hobbies. What I really liked doing was working in sales. Whenever I helped someone put an outfit together I always felt great. I love dressing people. When you help someone find that special outfit they are always soooo happy.
I love that feeling. Of course the pay sucked. But I was successful in being happy. Just about any other thing you have to deal with nasty people.

@Merriment Your comment pretty much follows my hunch about it. I think many prodigies quickly become mechanically skilled but in many cases lack a certain nuance and creativity that usually comes with age. It’s really impressive to hear a mechanically accurate five year old play the piano. But when he’s 15, there are lots of kids who are just as accurate, but they add a certain emotional depth to their playing that the prodigy lacks.

I remember this little girl getting tons of press in the early 90s because she could imitate any painting and re-create all of these masterpieces. People were extremely impressed with her skill, but several people predicted that she wouldn’t be famous as an adult because she wouldn’t go beyond imitation. About 10 years later I looked her up online—and sure enough she ended up giving up her painting because she hit a brick wall

@jerv I’m not saying that living an ordinary or average life is a bad thing. It’s just that when you see prodigies in action as kids, it may be natural to assume that they will keep plugging ahead light years beyond everyone else. If they are at an adult level of skill at 5—wow at 20 they should be centuries ahead of mankind, right? But for the most part, everyone else catches up to them and then they lose the edge,

It actually makes me wonder if prodigies should be pushed HARDER, instead of being allowed to kick back. Maybe mastering something so easily is a disadvantage because you hit this level that people consider “expert” and then you seem to have nowhere else to go. So you spend years at the “top” just performing instead of continuing to push the envelope and basically learn to learn.

I think the struggle to learn something difficult and overcoming intellectual obstacles can help someone think in different ways and helps them become more creative. We all have thresholds of a challenge level—the prodigy just has an unusually high level of challenge at an unusually young age—an age where it’s actually vital to learn how to learn. If you just pick up things naturally, you’re missing out on the struggle that keeps people striving to improve.

@keobooks Look at it this way; electric vehicles can out-accelerate most gas-powered cars but currently most lack the top speed and even fewer can match the endurance of a dinosaur-burning car. Being quick out of the gate is not a surefire sign of overall superiority!

I lost much of my edge in computers when I got into cars, current events, and women. Part of that is that I saw the computer field eventually being over-saturated, flooded with people who are just after the big bucks. I say all of the high-paying jobs being filled by people with better salemanship and/or political skills than me. (The way to make money isn’t being good at what you do; it’s the ability to sell yourself. It’s easier if you have/are a good “product”, but it takes more than that.)

Then again, people vary. There are some prodigies that could benefit from being pushed harder. The important thing to remember here is that prodigies are people too. People with their own strengths, weaknesses, feeling, etcetera. Too many people find a prodigy and try to live vicariously through their kid’s talent and they forget that their kid is an actual person instead of merely an extension of themselves. Lucky for me, my mother understood that and never pushed me too hard, preferring to guide and support rather than direct and shove.

I have a child who was a child prodigy. He has always had an obsessive nature. When he was 10 he asked to play the sax in his school band. The first few days he sounded awful, but soon he started practicing more and more. He became really great extremely fast. We did NOT push him at all. It actualy quite surpised us. He never seemed interested in music before this. Soon, he would practice every free moment possible. It was great at first, because he would do his homework right away when he got home and then practice until bedtime, but afterall, it became too obsessive. It was his sole desire to practice. To our dismay, he stopped all of his other activities. We tried hard to get him to do other activities, but he was very stubborn about this. On weekends he would wake up early and practice until it was time to sleep, often 15 hours a day. He became very uneasy when he wasn’t practicing. He didn’t want to do anything fun, like spend time with his friends, watch TV, etc, only practice. We told him this was not healthy. We tried hard to disuade him from practiing so much. At the same time, he seemed happier than he ever had in his life. He found that he liked jazz the most. He read as many adult books as he could get his hands on about first, music theory, and then about jazz and jazz history. He became an expert on jazz musicians. You could ask him about any jazz musician and chances are, he would know all about this person. He continued to get better and better and to study jazz at a college level. He amazed everyone that heard him. Then his second summer came after he had started jazz. He was now almost 12. We had his cousins over visiting for a couple weeks. As always, we encouraged him to practice less and to play with his cousins. Finally, one day he did. It was so nice to see him act as a kid again. Slowly, he put down his sax and played all day with his cousins. We thought he would pick the sax up after his cousins left, but he had trouble practicing after that. He did practice, but less and less. Eventually, he got angry at us for encouraging him to play instead of practice. I don’t think it was really because of his cousins visiting, I think he had slowly been burning himself out. Now he claims he hates jazz. Funny thing, we never played jazz at home. That was something he discovered by himself. I have since talked to different people about him. They tell me that it is common with child prodigies like my son, and that most often his love for music will return one day.

I was once a child prodigy, and now in my mid-forties have little to show for it except the complete lack of social skills that other kids were building while I was jacking around with drawings, poetry and music and stuff that existed only in my head. Now I have a nephew who is also gifted and enjoy having him visit me so that he can see the complete lack of creature comforts that you have to live with if you decide to never sell-out, but he still doesn’t get it that getting along with other humans and being comfortable in a variety of social situations is much more rewarding in the long run, than to exploring the vastness of your imagination.

@elsadog9 That sounds way too familiar :/

The problem is often that they focus on one thing to the detriment of all other areas. Also, our society seems to be obsessed with them- we can find videos and pictures of these wunderkinds everywhere. They are encouraged and pushed to focus on their area- often they will go out and participate in adult things such as concerts, art shows, etc. which is great. However, they often don’t get the time to just be a kid. Being a kid is important too.
I think that a good thing that a parent can do is encourage their kid, but certainly not push them. Also, one should not exploit their children- certainly they can be encouraged to take part in adult things, but they should still have time to be kids.

@elsadog9, that does sound quite familiar. I’m dealing with these kinds of choices myself, although fortunately I have at least decent social skills and can talk in front of people without making an utter fool of myself (at least I would like to think so). I wish you best of luck!