Is it time to break up?

I think you two have serious problems.

By your own words, you have changed and he has not.

You cannot trust him.

Because you can’t bear the alone time, you are staying with him. This is a terrible reason.

You can break up with him. You can go out and look for new friends and even potentially new guys to date.

I think you two have run your course. The time has come.

Break up with him before he moves there.

While your emotional stuff is possibly hard to wade through, I can relate to how you can end up feeling isolated when you get focused on a goal. I don’t know if you are planning to continue to have classes during the summer or not, but having been in a similar set of shoes, I would advise to find something to have as a social outlet. Maybe try to find some workout buddies or get a part time job or…. some hobby that you have put on the shelf. Having some social outlet however small is going to help everything else become more clear. Trust me on this one.

Trust is the foundation to any relationship, and without it, you have nothing.

You’re still in college, and you’re in a long distance relationship—for which I have to commend you. You’re still young, and not to be all cliche and stuff, but damn, there are a helluva lot more fish in the sea who would be worth your while and who would actually…deserve you. You’re getting your act together and going to med school—that says a lot.

If you believe the reason you’re staying with him is so you can have someone to lean on when you’re lonely, try doing things you enjoy. Go rockclimbing and get one of those cute boys who hang around to belay you. Get involved with a team sport. and like @sleepdoc said, you could definitely try getting a part-time/ temp job. Not only will you make friends with coworkers but you also get some cash on the side :)

But really, at this point you have to ask yourself: do those good times that you have with him outweigh the times you spend crying over him or the things he does? Usually, the answer to this question is “no” and by you fluthering about whether you should break up with this person is definitely a sign.

Since you are somewhat confined by a trap of your own construction, you must disassemble the trap and explore life outside your habitual confines.

Find things to do to keep yourself busy and learn not to structure your time around the times you see your boyfriend.

If your previous friends no longer suit your current lifestyle, go through your high school yearbook and make contact with people you knew who might be better suited to who you are now.

Take up a new activity where you will meet other people more like you.

You can do this and freeing yourself from narrow confines will increase your happiness.

Circumstances and maturity have you growing apart. It happens frequently at your age. One of the greatest lessons I learned after dating someone for 2 years (and it took several years to figure out) is that you can love someone, but not be in love.

On the other hand, my sister married her husband as soon as she graduated from college because she needed someone to take care of her. He married her because she was one of the skinniest girls on campus. The family secretly bet that it wouldn’t work for many reasons, but here they are today…still together 27 years later. And my other 2 siblings, who seemed to have found a match made in heaven, are long divorced.

We can give you advice and share our personal stories, but there is nothing better to give you guidance than listening to your own heart and mind, as well as open communication, understanding, trust and respect between the two of you.

If he’s getting angry right off the bat when you are disgruntled and is now starting to belittle you (calling you stupid) and using manipulation to be evasive (saying you’re overreactive) then I’d put my foot down and have a talk about aguing with respect. Disallow clamming up, walking away, name calling and any physical intimidation/posturing such as pointing fingers, talking with both arms and palms out in the air, finger pokes to the chest or shoulders, etc.

It sounds like you fear he’s not maturing or making the efforts to step up to you two as a future couple even though he’s made plans to move close by. Maybe to you it feels like his smoking weed is connected to him doing other things as well you’ve hoped or assumed he’s moved on from? Talk about it with him. Talk about what you want from him in order to feel secure and positive about the relationship and ask him what things mean trust, security and future prosect to him. You never know.